Husband insulted my appearance (and it’s not first time)

[Lamsji8372]

No kids
married for 2 years.

he is 40 and I’m 30.

In the past he insulted my looks…
He said I looked washed up, tramp, and my breath stinks.

Others, including the dentist, have told me my breath is fine. Also, my oral hygiene is good.

now recently we had an arguement. Nothing big. And I just carried on getting dressed and doing things around the house.

But as always, he has to take it too far.

I was dressed up to attend a function. He looked at me and burst out laughing. I ignored it. He’s being immature.
He then asks me “have you seen yourself in the mirror”. I ignored it. He kept repeating. Finally I said “yes I have”. And then he burst out laughing. It was obviously that he was trying to mock how I looked.

I ignored it as I believe I looked decent and I wasn’t going to let him break my confidence.

Then some time later…

He says look at the state of you. Laughs a lot. Tells me I have a fat belly that droops (I don’t). That I have saggy boobs (I do since childhood but I’ve accepted it). And he’s grossed out by me. He finds me repulsive. That’s why he doesn’t have sex with me (lying coz he’s always tryna initiate sex with me). Says I’m dirty, don’t wash my bum, don’t brush my teeth and have smelly breath. His exes were way better and prettier.

all I said was “go be with them”.

and he said I will. And continued insulting my looks.

he called me a whore many times. Accused me of sleeping with men.

so I said okay I’m the hoe and yet you married me. Surely that’s a reflection on you , why were you so desperate and why did you lower your standards if I’m so disgusting… have more self worth and next time choose someone more worthy of you.

then he said yeah I was desperate and I did lower my standards.
I responded and said we’ll be angry at yourself for choosing to marry me. Even when I walked away your the one who kept chasing and begging me to come back.

he continued whiling out.

Now I’m not saying I’m super attractive but let’s just say people (including his own family) have said he’s punching with me. I have never said this to him as I don’t wanna hurt him. But the irony of it all.

anyways, I’ve left home now.
but why is he being like this?

Don't waste any more time with him. He sounds like an absolute monster. Don't waste time either trying to work out why he's like this...just accept that's who he is and walk away.

Because he’s an abusive cunt. Well done for leaving.

Because he's an arsehole and you deserve better.

I'm not sure there's any coming back from this... I know it's easy to sit at this side of the screen and say LTB, but I think you need to. At least then he'll know you draw the line there and he needs to do better. If you forgive him, he'll do it again because he knows there's no consequence.

What a horrible person he is.

'cos he's an arsehole. What are your circumstances? Can you leave and be independent? If yes - do it. Your self worth and esteem will rocket and you'll wonder why you put up with it for so long.

If this is real then you must get away from him. He’s toxic. He will poison you. Please don’t have dcs with him. Don’t spend time trying to figure out why he’s this way. He’s just nasty.

Throw this one away, he’s an abusive waste of space.

Please tell me that you're divorcing this monster.

If he is “punching up” with you, then he is probably trying to bring your self confidence down so you don’t leave him. I’m glad to hear that it backfired.

Why are you with this awful specimen?

Gather what is left of your self worth and leave him.

He’s a cunt. Leave him

Read back what you’ve written and ask yourself why you have set your bar so low?

Im going to be a bit harsh here, but do you have no self-respect? How dare he speak to you like that!

Grow a backbone and leave. He is vile.

Come on, OP. This guy is a horrible, abusive bastard. If a friend spoke to you like that, they wouldn’t be your friend anymore. Why put up with it from someone who is supposed to love you and be your number one supporter?

You can't do anything about where his standards are at but yours are obviously on the floor for you to put up with this crap Honestly, you could be the fattest, ugliest, smelliest where but someone who loved you wouldn't throw that in your face. Get some self respect and leave him

Please don't go back to this vile monster. It's not important why he says these things - just get as far away as possible from him as soon as you possibly can.

Is that how people talk to someone they love? Is that even how people talk to someone they like??

No.

anyways, I’ve left home now.
but why is he being like this?

Why are you being like this?? As in why are you not immediately divorcing him? Please say ‘I’ve left home now’ means forever?

He is an abuser, this is horrible and you're worth so much more than this.

He behaves this way because he is a horrible, arrogant, nasty, abusive dickhead. He is a poor excuse of a man. He enjoys belittling you. I hope you have got away from him.

Leave. No more needs to be said honestly.

I hope you have support to leave Op, this post was incredibly disturbing to read. No matter what you look like, no one should speak to you like this. Ever.
Good luck.

Yes of course. I’ve packed what I could and left. As it’s not the first time he’s done this. So yeah, already looking online for divorce and hopefully on Tuesday make some calls and get legal advice.

im just baffled as why he’s so rude and how he thinks it’s okay

You’re divorcing him, right? If you do anything else then I’m sorry but, you’re an idiot.

Leave and see a solicitor.

He will progress to hitting you.