Have you ever been surprised when you met someone’s spouse/DP?

[littlemissworry97]

As in they didn’t look or act how you expected them to, or they completely weren’t the type you expected?

Despite having lots of gay friends, I still find myself startled occasionally when someone at work or whom I know only slightly introduces their partner and they're same sex. Always gorgeous women whom I had envisioned dazzling husbands for, not other gorgeous women!

I invited a woman of about 30 round to dinner with her husband, who I hadn't met. When they walked in, for a moment I thought she'd brought her father instead. Turned out that he was 24 years older than her, and he looked older than his age. He was balding with white hair, and short and fat. He was also unemployed and unemployable, due to bad health, and didn't have much money, and they were struggling financially. However, she was obviously in love with him for some reason.

She is quite plain, and looks older than him, although she isn’t. They are literally like chalk and cheese!

Not to be a complete dick but the other way round. My then colleague and now very good friend first met my husband when he collected us both from the airport after a work trip. My colleague didn’t say anything at the time (obviously) but later said he wouldn’t have put us together at first sight but the more he got to know my OH the better he understood why we were together - basically my husband is the absolute nicest man in the world but looks wise we’re not necessarily an obvious match. And he’s right. My husband is the best, kindest, most honest and supportive person I’ve ever met. Is he the best looking person I’ve ever been with? No. But thank God he chose me. I’m so so lucky.

I worked with someone who banged on about diet and fitness. Her family only ate healthy food and constantly commenting on what I should or shouldn’t eat. Talked about the gym all the time. She was awful about people being the slightest bit overweight (myself included).
Her husband came in one day, she never introduced him but I thought husband by they way they were speaking, so I introduced myself to him and she looked mortified. He was very overweight, red and sweaty looking. ( nothing wrong with that) As soon as he left the first thing she said was “ he didn’t looked like that when I married him, he was nice looking then!” Awful woman

Similar to this, I imagine everyone to be slim and, so I’m always surprised when people are overweight. Which I guess makes no sense because apparently most adults are overweight.

It doesn't have to suggest that though. Just because someone says that they think someone is not attractive, it doesn't mean that they think looks are where people's value lies!

How does your sister look? Maybe she is more attractive than you imagine?

You see this doesn't surprise me, if a same sex couple are both attractive.

Was this woman actually beautiful though or just thin and into exercise? Because some women who are very thin as they get older just look haggard...

I knew a young and free-spirited hippy woman who owned a hobby farm and was into organic gardening, arts and crafts etc. I fully expected her husband would be the male equivalent of same, especially as she described him as a "perfect soulmate".

Finally met him and was startled to find a little bald Arthur Lowe lookalike, much older than his wife and very much an armchair, slippers and crossword type, actually wearing a tie with his cardigan.

She explained "he's much more of a homebody than I am, but he's very good in the orchard."

My best friend says the same thing, and I really feel for her. She's always talking about how people see a 20 stone, unfit, introverted, plain-faced weirdo (her words) and almost openly ask HOW it can be true that her husband looks like a male model, cooks every night, has a great job, is an amazing husband/dad to their kids and absolutely worships her.

If they're both plain looks wise then externally they 'match', although it sounds like her personality isn't the best which makes it more puzzling why he's been married to her for all those years. Maybe she has some endearing qualities underneath her apparent rudeness?

Aww. I've said this before in replies to other women on here - being overweight does not automatically make a woman ugly. Her 'plain' face might actually be beautiful? I know that weight loss is hard, but it can really improve a person's health. Not to assume anything as she may have a health condition, like PCOS.

Absolutely - she is really beautiful. She focuses on her weight and never sees how gorgeous she is. I have witnessed first-hand the 'DH effect' though - it's a full-on double take usually. It gets her down, but he absolutely adores her.

I worked with a woman once who was gushing over her new boyfriend. Oh he's gorgeous, etc, stunning. Crikey I thought.

He came to meet her one day and was down in reception. I walked right past him. He was absolutely not how she described at all 🤔

I’ve got a neighbour who is very dominant, confident and never take a no for an answer. She isn’t conventionally beautiful , slightly overweight ( never was slim, as per her), has a warrior personality. Her husband is very sporty, good looking but timid and don’t have good social/ communication skills. I suppose they match each others needs and it works for them.

I don't think this is 'light hearted' at all OP. You're literally pulling people apart based on how they look and their 'ugly' characteristics and if you deem that an acceptable match to their partner.

If other people jump on the bandwagon to do the same, I still can't agree that it's all in good fun. But I also think lots of posts have been waaay more respectfully written than many of yours. Some have been just as untactful.

And while you say you're not specifically targeting this one woman, you repeatedly mention her at every opportunity.

I'll say it again; this thread is far from light hearted and seems really mean spirited. You even have comments from women who feel upset by what you've started so I think you need reevaluate your idea of lighthearted fun.

One of my friends has a successful career in a very senior role and she is the main earner. She’s one of these people who is very fun with her friends but very hard and serious at work and doesn’t really show her personality there.She’s also very well groomed, takes good care of herself and is very well spoken.

The first time I met her Husband I assumed he was her Brother she often speaks of - I was totally shocked and even now my other friends and I can’t get our heads around it! He’s has a really annoying high pitched and nasally voice and sounds so common. He’s also a funny mix of effeminate and blokey all at once. He talks incessantly to everyone he meets - especially women. In terms of his appearance, he always looks scruffy and is really odd looking.

Jesus H. Christ.

Are fully grown women still talking like this? I thought we all left that kind of insecurity-driven bitchiness behind once we made it out of training bras.

Ugly is as ugly does, and it's all on show on this thread.

OP made a thread about this woman the other day. It wasn't very nice then, either.

Is ‘Post Office’ woman thinner than you? Because as well as referencing her multiple times, which is why you’re being labelled as obsessed, you also keep saying how thin yet haggard she is.

I’m sure you’ll deny this but it’s clear you resent the fact she’s with your boss as much as she’s thin, as you always add the caveat that she either resembles PV or is haggard. Are you annoyed that he doesn’t show any attraction to you?

Not a partner but meeting my old landlord. We'd only spoken over the phone. He was very softly spoken and knowledgable. I expected an older professer type. He was mid 20s about 6ft 5 and the spitting image of Terry crews. An absolute sweetheart.

I don’t know where everyone lives but where are these drop dead gorgeous older men? Not where I live that’s for sure 😂.
I’m not looking for anyone btw. I have seen good looking younger men, but can’t recall seeing any beautiful older men.
I’ve visited lots of other towns and cities and countries. The last good looking men I came across were colleagues of ds, all in their 20s.
I think women exaggerate how good looking their ohs are.
Reminds me of a woman I knew. She claimed that women would stop and stare at her oh on a regular basis. Everywhere they went women stood still and did a double take. I was expecting to see someone who looked like a 20 something Brad Pitt. Well then I met him. He was shelved headed and very average/ordinary. Basic personality. I think she was deluded.