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Original poster

Have you ever been surprised when you met someone’s spouse/DP?

258 replies

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 18:40

As in they didn’t look or act how you expected them to, or they completely weren’t the type you expected?

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:25

KookyLurker · 20/08/2025 20:57

I wish I hadn't looked at this thread. I'm already insecure about my appearance after having kids, especially as my DH gets more attractive with age. I just get older! I worry at all his work events that his coworkers think of me as his "ugly wife." 😭

Please don't feel that way. Having children and your body changing, a 'mum' tum or stretch marks or whatever, does not make a woman 'ugly'. I don't think people see it that way. Being skinny and running marathons everyday won't make a woman beautiful either. This thread was more just about people's overall looks, their face etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:26

shepherd00 · 20/08/2025 21:00

Seems the OP has posted this thread so she has somewhere to make nasty comments about this man’s wife.

I suspect the man’s wife is a much nicer person than the OP

I am not a mean person, and I have nothing against this man's wife. I'm sure she is lovely.

It's just a light hearted thread.

OP posts:
MidlifeSpinalCrisis · 20/08/2025 22:27

The two times I've been surprised in this way was with young, attractive women who were seemingly intelligent with great personalities, who had much older, ugly (of face and of spirit) husbands.

Yes, those ugly arseholes were extremely wealthy.

CyanMaker · 20/08/2025 22:29

When I was young, my husband took me to a work friend's party.At the end of the evening my husband told me his friend asked "How did you get HER?" It surprised me because I didn't feel we were so far apart in looks.I guess the remark didn't bother my husband or he wouldn't have told me.LOL

Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:29

SpottyAardvark · 20/08/2025 21:13

People who know me are surprised when they meet DP, and vice versa. We are from very different backgrounds and this is immediately obvious from our accents, vocabulary etc.

I’m very working class. I grew up in a small industrial town oop north, and I still sound like it. I was the first person in my family to go to university and, although I’m now more comfortable around educated middle class people, I know I will never be one of them.

DP’s family are rural upper-middle class people who breed horses. He went to a prestigious boarding school, the same one that his dad went to, then to Oxbridge. He looks posh and he sounds posh. His impeccable manners make him comfortable around all types of people, unlike me. We have been described as an ‘odd couple’ so many times, I don’t mind this because, objectively, it’s true.

That's a 'mismatch' in terms of cultural background/class, not in physical looks though. You could both be equally good looking.

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:31

InNeedOfASideHustle · 20/08/2025 21:15

Have to agree with comments about, OP. This is coming across as nasty and, dare I say, a bit bitter.

It's one thing to be surprised inwardly that a spouse is much more/less attractive than their partner, but to make a whole thread about it and continue to specifically target one woman and her looks is plain mean.

I hope you're prettier on the outside than the inside (as you've presented yourself here) OP, or maybe you should spend more time worring about your own partner and how other perceive you?

Edited

This thread isn't to have a go at one particular woman, it's a light hearted thread asking people for their personal anecdotes, which people have done. My personal anecdote isn't even included in my OP.

OP posts:
ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 20/08/2025 22:31

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Namechangerage · 20/08/2025 22:32

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 20:13

I always find it more surprising when the man is the more attractive one as well. Usually it’s the opposite. The couple that surprised me the most was this handsome guy and then a woman who looked very homely and had rotten teeth!! I’m sure she’s a nice woman but I couldn’t help feeling surprised.

Show quote history

Maybe her teeth and figure changed after having kids, it’s quite common - or maybe he’s just not shallow as fuck?

DelusionalBrilliance · 20/08/2025 22:33

I wouldn’t normally pass comment about another woman’s looks, but in this case (in my defence!) she turned out to be a horrible person so I don’t feel too bad about it 😂

Anyway, he was late 40s, a proper silver fox but such a gentleman with it. Sophisticated, suave, incredibly smart and thoughtful, just an all round good bloke and box ticker.

She was half his age, which we all knew before we met her and presumed that meant an absolute bombshell. Alas, she was half his height, twice his weight and thoroughly unpleasant in every way. He has always been very humble and polite and I suppose I expected the same of her but she was so arrogant and downright rude. She spent the evening passing comment about other women in the restaurant, bad mouthing her “ex friends” and telling us women are so jealous of her 🫠

Oddly, their relationship ended a year or so later because she cheated on him. The mind boggles.

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 20/08/2025 22:33

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KawasakiBabe · 20/08/2025 22:35

Years ago a girl I worked with told me all about her new fella, very complimentary, how lovely he was etc. One day she said he was picking her up for lunch. In walks one of my exes, nothing special, a couple of dates and a few nights out where we’d met up kind of thing. She was devastated, I’m sure he told her he’d dumped me, which was quite the opposite but I let her just believe what he’d said. Not really any of my business.

Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:36

Studyunder · 20/08/2025 21:24

Men like what they see.
Women like what they hear.

There’s always exceptions but I think this is usually the case. The classic question of “what do you want in a man?” usually has he makes me laugh, he’s fun to be with, he makes me feel special etc. as a top answer.
Also, looks can change a lot! Some people improve with age, keep fit…

And to answer the actual question- yes! Recently met a 20 year colleague’s husband who looked like an 80’s porn star 😂

Thank you. And the exceptions - when a man seems to have gone less for the visual - surprise us.

It's just an instant reaction. I don't know why some people are bashing me for this thread, I'm not saying that anyone's value is in their physical appearance.

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:36

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No, I'm very happy with my boyfriend. This thread isn't solely about my anecdote.

OP posts:
JasonTindallsTan · 20/08/2025 22:37

Yes a colleague, she was in her 40’s, so outgoing, lovely, pretty, one of the funniest people I’d ever met, I knew her husband was quite a bit older but was surprised when we were out one evening and an elderly vagrant joined our group and was introduced as ‘Sally’s husband’. He was SO old. But she was smitten with him. I was genuinely taken aback. And no, he wasn’t wealthy.

KawasakiBabe · 20/08/2025 22:37

My DH is way better looking than me, I wonder what people think when they meet me. I’m fucking fantastic, and amazing in bed… so that makes up for it, I guess!

Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:37

Namechangerage · 20/08/2025 22:32

Maybe her teeth and figure changed after having kids, it’s quite common - or maybe he’s just not shallow as fuck?

Show quote history

She doesn't have kids. And she's thin.

OP posts:
StressedOot3 · 20/08/2025 22:38

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Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:39

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It is lighthearted?!

OP posts:
Namechangerage · 20/08/2025 22:40

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:36

Thank you. And the exceptions - when a man seems to have gone less for the visual - surprise us.

It's just an instant reaction. I don't know why some people are bashing me for this thread, I'm not saying that anyone's value is in their physical appearance.

Show quote history

You can’t seem to make up your mind though. In one breath you’re slating someone for being “homely”. In the next you’re telling a poster not to worry that she feels overweight and your post made her feel shite. Well, which one is your true feeling?

FunnysInLaJardin · 20/08/2025 22:41

Yes! one of my very best friends is an amazing tall beautiful Californian woman. Her husband is a shortish chap with specs. I was very surprised when I met him!

Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:41

KawasakiBabe · 20/08/2025 22:37

My DH is way better looking than me, I wonder what people think when they meet me. I’m fucking fantastic, and amazing in bed… so that makes up for it, I guess!

You don't know that he's better looking, probably just your insecurity talking.

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 22:42

Namechangerage · 20/08/2025 22:40

You can’t seem to make up your mind though. In one breath you’re slating someone for being “homely”. In the next you’re telling a poster not to worry that she feels overweight and your post made her feel shite. Well, which one is your true feeling?

Show quote history

They both are, they aren't contradictory.

The person I'm describing as 'homely' has a homely face, not pretty. She is quite thin though. This post has nothing to do with weight.

A woman gaining weight doesn't make her 'ugly'.

OP posts:
BrokenWingsCantFly · 20/08/2025 22:43

Only once. Horrible, sexist, ugly, short, balding man I worked with. He did use to go on about how much money he had. The size of his property and land. His beautiful younger wife. So I wasnt really surprised on a works do when his younger, tall, slim, beautiful blonde wife showed up. I was surprised by how genuinely in love they seemed and how much happier and nicer he was around her. Even though I disliked the guy, felt quite happy for them, you could see the spark there

mintydoggyv · 20/08/2025 22:45

Love is the magic ingredient

QuaintMauveCrow · 20/08/2025 22:45

You have changed your tune a bit.