Have you ever been surprised when you met someone’s spouse/DP?

[littlemissworry97]

As in they didn’t look or act how you expected them to, or they completely weren’t the type you expected?

@Nclow me too, extremely handsome husband loves the gym ect. I’m a lot shorter than him and overweight. Even though this thread is sad we both know our husbands adore us ☺️

I wish I hadn't looked at this thread. I'm already insecure about my appearance after having kids, especially as my DH gets more attractive with age. I just get older! I worry at all his work events that his coworkers think of me as his "ugly wife." 😭

Definitely shouldn’t make you feel sad! Your husband’s love you not other people judging from outside. That’s the only important thing 🤷‍♀️

Seems the OP has posted this thread so she has somewhere to make nasty comments about this man’s wife.

I suspect the man’s wife is a much nicer person than the OP

I went to a craft class that was held in the tutor's home. I joined later than other participants.

The tutor was a very nice woman in her late 50s/early 60s and an efficient teacher, but she couldn't have been described as attractive or charismatic. She dressed older than her years and always seemed a bit stressed.

A man came into the room one evening to ask her something. He looked about late 30s and was very handsome. He looked up and smiled at class members and I could feel a collective swoon. I assumed he was her son.

At the coffee break, I mentioned to the others something about her son coming in and someone whispered that it was her husband! I must have looked astonished - the others exchanged sly smiles.

I never did work out the attraction, which was totally fair as it was none of my business.

I’m really sorry to hear people have been so rude and judgmental about you and your husband. And I’m sorry this thread has made you sad. There are some shockingly unkind sentiments on here and Im saddened to read women talking about other women so cruelly.

it’s one thing to be confused if a lovely, kind and caring person is married to a mean, rude selfish person… like how does that pan out in day to day interactions?!

but to so openly mock and judge women for their looks and think it’s weird that they ‘got’ a good looking husband?! And joking about how they must be ‘good in bed’ to have ‘got’ a good looking man? Awful!

Im a big believer in seeing the beauty in people , and when I care about someone and see their kindness and goodness I think it shines out of them and they look so lovely to me.

I agree.

‘Im a big believer in seeing the beauty in people , and when I care about someone and see their kindness and goodness I think it shines out of them and they look so lovely to me.’

Yep me too - and I’d say that’s most people. Certainly most women. However I wouldn’t say the same about men. Frankly they show us every day (men in the news, men we come across, how they don’t think that way), exactly who they are.

And sigh. Obviously not all men. 🙄

People who know me are surprised when they meet DP, and vice versa. We are from very different backgrounds and this is immediately obvious from our accents, vocabulary etc.

I’m very working class. I grew up in a small industrial town oop north, and I still sound like it. I was the first person in my family to go to university and, although I’m now more comfortable around educated middle class people, I know I will never be one of them.

DP’s family are rural upper-middle class people who breed horses. He went to a prestigious boarding school, the same one that his dad went to, then to Oxbridge. He looks posh and he sounds posh. His impeccable manners make him comfortable around all types of people, unlike me. We have been described as an ‘odd couple’ so many times, I don’t mind this because, objectively, it’s true.

This is kind of a nasty thread

Have to agree with comments about, OP. This is coming across as nasty and, dare I say, a bit bitter.

It's one thing to be surprised inwardly that a spouse is much more/less attractive than their partner, but to make a whole thread about it and continue to specifically target one woman and her looks is plain mean.

I hope you're prettier on the outside than the inside (as you've presented yourself here) OP, or maybe you should spend more time worring about your own partner and how other perceive you?

Yes you're right. I feel really bad about what I said now.But it's too late to edit to delete it.

Beauty is only skin deep.And I take back what I said, I feel awful now.

One of the old style big bosses at my work, who originally came from a tiny village in the North East, introduced me to his wife at a colleagues wedding. I was genuinely stunned into silence as she was like his identical twin. Everything apart from the male/female thing was identical.

As they both came from the same tiny village I'm pretty convinced they were brother and sister. Kids were a bit odd as well!

My dad is very tall and my mum is shorter. That's all I ever noticed. Now that they are divorced, people tell me all the time my dad is so handsome/hot (eh, eeew??) and my mum observed to me the other day that people never really notice or remember her.

I just don't see it, I think they are absolutely on par with each other.

Just because some idiot down the street thinks one thing, doesn't mean the people who love you think like that. It literally never crossed my mind until I read this thread and now I suspect they might have been in the same situation. In which case I think the strangers are wrong!

I also met someone’s husband who looks identical to her. Their children also look like them (obviously) in the same way they look like each other.

That's such a lovely sentiment, @cannyvalley. Thank you for saying it. I just asked my husband what he thinks about this thread and he echoed you - he said he loves my intellect and kind heart, loves how much I love our kids, and thinks I'm very attractive (I know I'm not).
I'm telling myself I'm the Alexandra Grant to his Keanu Reeves 😂

Your comments feel very derogatory and borderline misogynistic. The fixation on “unattractive women” being unworthy of attractive men is an uncomfortable read.
very very odd.

My old boss, when I was in my 20's was about 50 and very quiet, nice but a bit boring. When I met his wife, an artist I was really shocked, she looked about my age and was very beautiful, bohemian and charismatic. She was indeed just a couple of years younger than him and just looked very youthful and they had been together over 30 years, she was mad about him.

Absolutely agree with this.

I agree too. 👍

Glad I'm not the only one @Nclow . My husband and I met 41 years ago and I think he's more gorgeous now than when we met, but I am definitely not! He also holds down a CEO role and is influential and wealthy. I often wonder why he's still with me and this thread now has me wondering if other people think the same 😥 I know he loves me and he tells me all the time, but I often wonder why.

Men like what they see.
Women like what they hear.

There’s always exceptions but I think this is usually the case. The classic question of “what do you want in a man?” usually has he makes me laugh, he’s fun to be with, he makes me feel special etc. as a top answer.
Also, looks can change a lot! Some people improve with age, keep fit…

And to answer the actual question- yes! Recently met a 20 year colleague’s husband who looked like an 80’s porn star 😂

Some of the comments show how society prizes looks above all else. That a person's value is derived from their appearance.

Not everyone thinks like this.

My former very glamorous, always designer-clad, beautifully groomed young female boss (partner at one of the largest international City law firms) had a punk rocker-type looking husband 😂 He was very nice and quite cool, but the total opposite of her.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say. I can’t say I ever pay any attention what people’s partners look like. They find each other attractive and that’s all that matters