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Original poster

Husband getting close to girl at the gym

461 replies

Amy808 · 09/08/2025 14:16

I just wondered what people’s opinions were on this.

So, my husband goes to the gym, a lot. Pretty much every day. He normally goes with a few friends, but I’ve heard other guys names mentioned over the years. But never another woman.

A couple of months ago he started mentioning another woman who goes there. Said she’s really nice etc etc. Apparently the other guys all fancy her, but he doesn’t as ‘ she’s too young for him’. He’s only in his 30’s so that’s a load of rubbish anyway, presuming she’s in her 20’s.

Fast forward a few months and he’s gone from mentioning her once or twice to talking about her quite a lot. Nothing exciting, just conversations they’ve had. He seems to know where she works / lives / her gym schedule / what car she drives … It’s all a bit stalker ish for me. I’ve asked him twice now if he fancies her and he’s denied it both times, but he’s never got this friendly with another woman since we’ve been together ( 10 plus years ).

He now follows her fitness page on socials too. Am I going over the top or are they getting too close? He said she doesn’t speak to many of the other guys because they all perv on her but he doesn’t ( apparently ).

I know people are going to say it’s not a problem to have opposite sex friends. It just seems like they’ve got a bit close and he almost goes out of his way to chat with her.

Shall I just drop the whole thing or maybe just keep an eye on it in the background? Any opinions welcome. Thank you x

OP posts:
SatsumaDog · 06/10/2025 17:14

DIYagainstMould · 06/10/2025 17:05

I don't go to the gym but from what I have seen clothes wise, women do it in order to take others women's men

I’m at the gym most days and I’ve only ever seen one woman do anything like that. She was an isolated case and it was very obvious. In general the women I see are just getting on with their workout. Perhaps I go to the wrong gym!

Allthatshines1992 · 06/10/2025 17:15

Amy808 · 09/08/2025 14:33

Apparently he lifted his heaviest weight when she was ‘cheering him on’ a few weeks back. He said he gives her advice etc when there are actual PT’s in there she could speak with. He obviously knows his stuff but he’s not qualified.

'Look how big and strong I am' is what he's saying when he tries to impress the young lady

Original poster
Amy808 · 06/10/2025 17:18

Ok so my friend has just sent me a couple of screenshots from this girls account ( it’s open ) the last couple of photos she’s put up. She’s got the tiniest shorts and top, and probably 1 of the worse camel toes aswel! The next pic is her from behind and her shorts go right up her bum. You can also see her black / dark thong through her shorts. If this is the kind of stuff she wears in front of my husband no wonder he’s ’friends with her’.

OP posts:
Allthatshines1992 · 06/10/2025 17:19

Chiefangel · 06/10/2025 16:29

I’m cringing for the girl having your husband leering over her.
He is totally disrespectful to you. he either changes gym or you finish with him. No man should treat their wife like this.
This has been going on for weeks. Tell him tonight, it’s a change of gym or separation.

Change gym and block her communication channels (social media and WhatsApp) or divorce.

Allthatshines1992 · 06/10/2025 17:20

Amy808 · 06/10/2025 17:18

Ok so my friend has just sent me a couple of screenshots from this girls account ( it’s open ) the last couple of photos she’s put up. She’s got the tiniest shorts and top, and probably 1 of the worse camel toes aswel! The next pic is her from behind and her shorts go right up her bum. You can also see her black / dark thong through her shorts. If this is the kind of stuff she wears in front of my husband no wonder he’s ’friends with her’.

Bit of the old slut shaming. Back to 'blame the nearest woman' I see.

Zucker · 06/10/2025 17:22

The cheek of you OP to blame this woman for how your husband is acting towards you in YOUR relationship!

Your husband is rotten for how he's carrying on but for fucks sake let's not blame this woman for his carry on.

mauvishagain · 06/10/2025 17:23

@Amy808 - get a grip (and I mean that kindly).

Don't go to the gym. Don't contact this other woman. Don't look at her socials. Don't ask your OH's mates what's happening.

None of this is necessary. None. The only thing that's necessary is that your husband shows that he is prioritising you and your family over her, and over his gym sessions.

How he does that to your satisfaction is up to the two of you. But nothing else matters - what it comes down to is that you need to feel he is cares for you, cres about your feelings and is trustworthy.

Peoplepleaserincrisis · 06/10/2025 17:24

Don't do that OP. I appreciate you are upset but shaming what she wears/ pointing out things like "camel toe" seems snide and bitchy. From what youve already said, your skeezy husband would likely be "friends" with her whatever gym clothes she wore.

Goldfoxwife · 06/10/2025 17:24

Wow I would be fuming with him and I wouldn't be happy with the way he's acting he clearly fancies her hasn't told her he's married and talks about her all the time well let me tell you now if I was you I would say to him pack it in or you'll pack his bags he sounds like a arse who has intentions to cheat

FrauPaige · 06/10/2025 17:26

DollydaydreamTheThird · 06/10/2025 17:02

It's the bro code isn't it? Blame the 'slutty' women for everything and protect the other male in the situation. He'd be more scared of OPs husband than the girl if any of what he had said came out. Obviously going to lie for him isn't he?

Show quote history

Without a doubt. Every indecent man knows it could be them that needs the favour next time, and would hope that their mates would perform equally admirably in return.

OP - stop sluthing from behind the PC screen. Enlist your mum for childcare and go and see for yourself. I sense that for you, seeing is believing.

Fwvertree · 06/10/2025 17:27

Amy808 · 09/08/2025 14:57

He doesn’t wear his ring as it’s ‘dangerous’ to wear it at work or to the gym. His photo on his socials is just of him. Maybe she just accepted but hasn’t taken a look at his profile, so has no idea. She may genuinely just think he’s a nice guy trying to help her out, but creeps at the gym give me the ick, which is why I’m hoping he isn’t becoming 1, and is just being a bit naive and stupid.

Show quote history

What a load of crap!!!
I wear my wedding and engagement ring to the gym.
He’s making a mug of you, tell him to pack it in or leave!

wrongthinker · 06/10/2025 17:27

Amy808 · 06/10/2025 17:18

Ok so my friend has just sent me a couple of screenshots from this girls account ( it’s open ) the last couple of photos she’s put up. She’s got the tiniest shorts and top, and probably 1 of the worse camel toes aswel! The next pic is her from behind and her shorts go right up her bum. You can also see her black / dark thong through her shorts. If this is the kind of stuff she wears in front of my husband no wonder he’s ’friends with her’.

Oh okay then OP. Sounds like your husband is a creep and you're blaming the woman he's creeping on. Nice.

Ardella · 06/10/2025 17:28

@Amy808 from your latest update, if you can't expect your husband to look the other way anytime a girl wears anything slightly revealing, then that is more telling on who your husband is as a person.

I can expect my husband to show some self control and be respectful towards our relationship. He is an adult after all. You are really just out here excusing your husband's sleaziness and shaming this girl you don't know and is much younger than you guys because of what she wears.....

Good look op.

Frostynoman · 06/10/2025 17:30

Your husband has hidden the fact that he is married - entirely disrespecting his marriage, vows and yourself

He has hidden your children from this woman - entirely disrespecting his children

He has effectively friend zoned you by bragging about this younger woman to you

but yeah, it’s totally the length of shorts and her thong that’s wrong here.

Allthatshines1992 · 06/10/2025 17:31

Zucker · 06/10/2025 17:22

The cheek of you OP to blame this woman for how your husband is acting towards you in YOUR relationship!

Your husband is rotten for how he's carrying on but for fucks sake let's not blame this woman for his carry on.

I agree with you 100%. Pretty much noped out of being supportive to the OP after that.

OP is slutshaming the prettier younger woman whom her husband is creeping on.

OP's husband is just a man-child who openly fancies and pursues other women.

Personally can't be bothered with people like either of these two. Oftentimes people pick people on the same level as themselves. Birds of a feather flock together and all that.

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 06/10/2025 17:33

All these people saying OP "should go to the gym to see what's going on" etc - he's hardly going to be hanging out of the back of gym girl with his wife there is he. The dynamic would obviously be completely different, she wouldn't gain anything.

Allthatshines1992 · 06/10/2025 17:36

Ardella · 06/10/2025 17:28

@Amy808 from your latest update, if you can't expect your husband to look the other way anytime a girl wears anything slightly revealing, then that is more telling on who your husband is as a person.

I can expect my husband to show some self control and be respectful towards our relationship. He is an adult after all. You are really just out here excusing your husband's sleaziness and shaming this girl you don't know and is much younger than you guys because of what she wears.....

Good look op.

Edited

It shows the OP's misogynistic and her husband is a lech. Poor kids.

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 06/10/2025 17:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 06/10/2025 17:37

Amy808 · 06/10/2025 16:35

So I bumped into a guy who used to work at this gym today, and asked him some questions. You can tell he was really uncomfortable as he knows us both, but said the following ;

He doesn’t know who started the interactions, but it got to a point where she was following him around like a lost puppy dog. Wherever he went, she was. Even walking upto his car to say hello when they arrived etc. He seems to think he probably liked the attention to start with, but he apparently said to a few people that it’s gone to far now, and he mite have to go to another gym to get away from her. He seems to think nothings gone on, but they both probably do fancy eachother.

So I have no idea what to think now as that’s the complete opposite of what I had in my head that was going on. If this was true though, he wouldn’t be getting in a strop about not talking to her anymore and blocking her on social media, surely?

How do you seem to know/recognise the staff there and his various gym friends whom you've spoken to about this when you've never been to this gym, have no idea when he's there etc....

SmudgeBrown · 06/10/2025 17:37

Amy808 · 09/08/2025 14:16

I just wondered what people’s opinions were on this.

So, my husband goes to the gym, a lot. Pretty much every day. He normally goes with a few friends, but I’ve heard other guys names mentioned over the years. But never another woman.

A couple of months ago he started mentioning another woman who goes there. Said she’s really nice etc etc. Apparently the other guys all fancy her, but he doesn’t as ‘ she’s too young for him’. He’s only in his 30’s so that’s a load of rubbish anyway, presuming she’s in her 20’s.

Fast forward a few months and he’s gone from mentioning her once or twice to talking about her quite a lot. Nothing exciting, just conversations they’ve had. He seems to know where she works / lives / her gym schedule / what car she drives … It’s all a bit stalker ish for me. I’ve asked him twice now if he fancies her and he’s denied it both times, but he’s never got this friendly with another woman since we’ve been together ( 10 plus years ).

He now follows her fitness page on socials too. Am I going over the top or are they getting too close? He said she doesn’t speak to many of the other guys because they all perv on her but he doesn’t ( apparently ).

I know people are going to say it’s not a problem to have opposite sex friends. It just seems like they’ve got a bit close and he almost goes out of his way to chat with her.

Shall I just drop the whole thing or maybe just keep an eye on it in the background? Any opinions welcome. Thank you x

He wants to have his cake and to eat it. He’s having this lovely flirtatious relationship, while denying to himself that he is. As long as it’s not physical, he’s telling himself, it’s ok.

You need to confront him with this. He needs to be honest with himself and with you. And he needs to stop having an intimate relationship with a young woman. He needs to move aside and let her get on with finding someone who is actually available. It’s not fair on her either.

Ardella · 06/10/2025 17:37

@DiaryofaProvincialLady tbh after op's racist remark and clear bitchiness towards this woman's choice of clothing, keeping in mind she is younger than her, I think both her and her husband are well suited.

Jog on I say.

purplepie1 · 06/10/2025 17:38

Tracking in his car and then you’ll know if he goes to the gym each time?

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 06/10/2025 17:38

Allthatshines1992 · 06/10/2025 17:31

I agree with you 100%. Pretty much noped out of being supportive to the OP after that.

OP is slutshaming the prettier younger woman whom her husband is creeping on.

OP's husband is just a man-child who openly fancies and pursues other women.

Personally can't be bothered with people like either of these two. Oftentimes people pick people on the same level as themselves. Birds of a feather flock together and all that.

Edited
Show quote history

lol please stop with this. You’re criticising OP for having a (wrong) go at the women but you also have no idea who is prettier considering you don’t know any of them.

Maybe take a seat and stop trying to stir shit up.

Original poster
Amy808 · 06/10/2025 17:40

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 06/10/2025 17:37

How do you seem to know/recognise the staff there and his various gym friends whom you've spoken to about this when you've never been to this gym, have no idea when he's there etc....

Show quote history

I know 1 guy who used to work there part time, he was dating 1 of my friends a few years ago. Other than that I know none of his actually friends who go there / that he meets
etc.

OP posts:
reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 06/10/2025 17:40

@Amy808 she could be prancing around naked and throwing herself at your husband, while that would say a lot about her, ultimately your husband is the one disrespecting you, your relationship and your family.

Your problem is with him. Even if this one passes, there will always be a new girl that he’ll be drooling over while he doesn’t get his attitude on check.

Frankly he comes off as a weirdo.

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