Therapy session 2 and feeling more insecure with fiance

[togo1004]

Finished session 2 with therapy. She addressed why my vision might become blurry when I’m stressed. She thinks that my brain doesn’t want me to see something and that stress is the trigger for it.

we dove deeper into my childhood trauma and talked more about myself. We have not reached diagnosis stage as we have a wide arrange of things to cover.

im currently traveling in China with my fiancé. We’ve already gotten into a few arguments but nothing major I see a big improvement already. I’d like your feedback on what the issue is, If it’s indeed my problem again and how I can address it better next time.

i know I don’t have the best diet. He’s been reminding me to drink water this entire time and I have a hard time drinking water if it’s not cold and when I’m full. We went out to get coffee and I suddenly got dizzy and passed out. I woke up a few seconds later and he shoved a bunch of candy in my mouth and forced me to eat it. I felt better in about 5 minutes and he carried me back to our hotel.

he looked so worried and he started telling me that he suspects I might be either diabetic and has hypoglycemia or have extremely low blood pressure. Either way it’s not good. Then he went on about how I really need to stop eating fried food and sugary things and focus on hydration and getting minerals in my body. I got so annoyed and got loud and said that I’ve been this way my whole life and it’s perfectly normal.

then he started listing things and saying things like “passing out in the middle of the street is normal?”
he went on about how I’m always tired, always have a headache, has mental disorders and thinks it’s largely contributed by my diet and life style. He went on about how he’s never seen me eat a salad or vegetables or fruit. He said “you can’t just live on pasta and fried food and soda”

He said that I’m likely malnutritioned and dehydrated for years and that unless I change it’s going to destroy my body. Ive felt so violated that I started crying. Now im just exhausted and want to go home.

i told him to stop commenting on how i eat because ill likely develop bulimia because of his comments. He literally told me that if I don’t change my life style he’s going to call off the marriage because he says “I will not marry someone who doesn’t prioritize health”. I told him that he cannot control me as it’s my body and it’s my choice on how I eat and live.

that evening I tried to make love to him and he turned me down saying that I’m not well and he thinks I might pass out during sex. I felt like he just didn’t want me at all..felt so rejected. He said that I’m still cold sweating looks pale and that I should really stop eating fried noodles and eat some salad and drink 2 liters of water today and do this everyday and he just went to sleep.

I know I’m not diabetic from tests a while
back but I did take blood pressure the next morning at a pharmacy near by and my bp came back hypotension.

we were ok that day went to pool but he won’t touch me the way he used to and I’m feeling insecure.

did i handle this ok? It didn’t escalate into a big fight but was thinking it’s my body my choice the right thing to say in this point? His point is that it’s selfish because he’s the one responsible for medical bills for us and that I should be taking care of my health for both of us as he does the same.

No because my grandmother fed me milk with metric tons of sugar since I was a kid and thought it was normal because we all lived that way. Only when I met my current fiancé he freaked out about it and I reduced it to 3.

Yes I want children, he said until I fix my diet and life style I’m not ready for children at all.

im trying to fix but it’s hard. If im under any kind of stress I end up drinking beer and eating pizza. It’s hard because he doesn’t drink either

I think you need to mature in certain areas. I wouldn't be able to marry someone who has this type of eating difficulty - I don't think he is being unreasonable. I would find this burdensome; it like having to take care of a child instead of being in a normal relationship.

He needs to get out of this relationship.
Your example with the card is entirely a you issue. You couldn't find your card he said take this one I'll come with you and get another, even though he was working. That's a nice kind response!
Your eating and drinking issues are almost certainly causing your dizziness and blurred vision.
Do not bring children into this mess and let this poor man go.

Nothing major? You’re abusive. You record him in the shower ffs. Let this poor guy go.

In the example about the room key cards you’re completely in the wrong OP. It’s mad you can’t see that. You started an argument for no reason.

He came up with a solution that meant you could still do what you wanted but you were more interested in a perceived ‘win’ over him than just having a nice day and being kind to each other. He wasn’t unkind in that situation, you were. You are abusing him on a regular basis in a variety of ways.

If he manages to get out of this relationship despite the suicide threats you admitted elsewhere that you’ve made (if you leave me I will die) then he will be a shell of a man and I hope he can reconnect with the support system you’ve isolated him from in order to heal and move forwards. They must all be so worried about this poor bloke.

I would also find this annoying. Unless you have T1 diabetes there’s no harm in ice cream. Dehydration will make you pass out, though. Fainting is caused by low blood pressure.

Well there you go. If you want children you have to change.

Your poor health may be having an impact on your fertility as well.

I have come to the conclusion that the OP is in fact writing a novel and that each thread she (he) starts is another chapter.
There is just no way anyone can be so utterly self absorbed, selfish, argumentative, riddled with issues and quite frankly bonkers. And if it is real, OP is an abuser who needs some serious therapy.

I wrote a whole post and then just deleted it because I realized that read the wrong way someone prone to bulimia might use it as fuel to convert those tendencies to anorexia.

Please talk to your doctor about your fainting. In the meantime, try adding a small amount of flavor and as much ice as you can find to your water. A bit of lemon juice and being super cold works wonders for making water appealing.

I also have acid reflux issues from my bulimia long ago and cannot walk after I eat or I throw up bile.

Then why were you so angry with your partner recently for not wanting to go for a walk after you'd been out for dinner (when he was having breathing problems)?

Among the many things you need serious proper professional help with is your ongoing disordered eating.

If op still behaves and posts like this once pregnant, I'd be asking mn hq to do a safeguarding referral via her IP

OP - with respect, this is going the way of your last couple of threads. You don’t seem at all compatible. You argued and you argue frequently and you won’t help yourself, and then you’re surprised that he doesn’t want to sleep with you. You’d be better off apart - he’s at the end of his tether and it sounds like he’s about to split, and I don’t blame him.

You’re not seeing a psychiatrist, who is the one who can properly diagnose your personality disorder, this isn’t a mild mental health issue.

You’ve admitted your diet is rubbish and it won’t be helping,

Please seek proper help. If you really love him you’d do this. I think you’ll probably just argue with all posters trying to advise because that’s what you seem to get off on - drama and chaos, and that’s NOT a normal way to live a happy life.

He was right, you were being very unreasonable and picking an argument for the sake of it.

You are abusive. You are ruining his mental health. Let him go.

It’s because we only eat and never actually walk. If I feel acid after then we can go home. But until then I’d like to walk and talk. I want a date not just eat.

I am seeking help but I cannot afford a psychiatrist at the moment. I fainted today again at the park so I’m back at the hotel again.

Ive been drinking water now more than a bottle. I feel sorry now because he also caught a flu and I dragged him out and I feinted.

Ok so it’s my fault again. Everything is my fault and I can never win ever.

You must see a doctor as fainting this often isn't normal.

Who are you attempting to guilt with that drama llama martyr post?
Yes it is your fault, you are abusive and controlling.
And why do you need to 'win'?

A relationship is not a game that needs to be won. That’s your issue right there.

He was being reasonable about the key card. You picked a hole in his kindness.

He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who treats him like this, and after his first wife being financially abusive now he has someone who is being mentally abusive and controlling.

I doubt that you have any therapist and I think you’re still using ChatGPT and instagram as your therapy.

This will be rinse and repeat until you guys split up.

Why, why, why, did you drag a man out of his sick bed?
You're fainting because you don't look after yourself, from your previous thread you're seriously underweight. You don't eat properly, don't keep hydrated, and now you've fainted twice in as many days.

Well, everything you've posted here between you and your fiancé, yes, has been your fault.

Even today - you dragged him out despite him being sick but, if you were to "feel acid" then you'd expect him to give up a walk that he might want. Do you really not see how much of a hypocrite you are?

It’s not chatgpt it’s an actual therapist.

there are faults with him. He knows that I do not use free national health care in Russia and currently don’t have insurance in his country. He knows that I’m weak and have fainting problems but he still asked me to go home back to my mothers house before because he had to leave to USA to take care of some business for a while.

why would he do that? That’s why I can’t get better. I want to get treated in his country but it’s expensive.

all he ever tells me is to download an app to track my fluid intake, and eat veggies and more food. I don’t wanna hear that crap. It’s annoying and it makes me feel worse mentally.

fainting is pretty normal for people with low blood pressure. And all he can tell me is that dehydration causes low blood pressure. It’s too much to hear all the time. I just want him to care for me without recommendations and advices. How hard is that?

Because it’s our last day here and I want to visit some temples. And he said he felt kind of ok so we went. I just fainted in the middle of climbing up because I got dizzy I think I was lacking oxygen.

i wanted to keep walking up because I didn’t want to miss the view and he got annoyed with me saying that he’s worried and how we should get me back to hotel asap. He embarrassed me in front of many people talking to me this way.

I don't wanna hear that crap
No you don't do you?
You want to hear "you are the most beautiful and special princess ever, no one can hold a candle to you, I will never speak to or see anyone else ever again. All i need to do is work and earn money and come home to sit with you, take you on dates or holidays I will fully fund, but I promise no interactions with anyone else ever, in person, over the phone or internet''.