Therapy session 2 and feeling more insecure with fiance

[togo1004]

Finished session 2 with therapy. She addressed why my vision might become blurry when I’m stressed. She thinks that my brain doesn’t want me to see something and that stress is the trigger for it.

we dove deeper into my childhood trauma and talked more about myself. We have not reached diagnosis stage as we have a wide arrange of things to cover.

im currently traveling in China with my fiancé. We’ve already gotten into a few arguments but nothing major I see a big improvement already. I’d like your feedback on what the issue is, If it’s indeed my problem again and how I can address it better next time.

i know I don’t have the best diet. He’s been reminding me to drink water this entire time and I have a hard time drinking water if it’s not cold and when I’m full. We went out to get coffee and I suddenly got dizzy and passed out. I woke up a few seconds later and he shoved a bunch of candy in my mouth and forced me to eat it. I felt better in about 5 minutes and he carried me back to our hotel.

he looked so worried and he started telling me that he suspects I might be either diabetic and has hypoglycemia or have extremely low blood pressure. Either way it’s not good. Then he went on about how I really need to stop eating fried food and sugary things and focus on hydration and getting minerals in my body. I got so annoyed and got loud and said that I’ve been this way my whole life and it’s perfectly normal.

then he started listing things and saying things like “passing out in the middle of the street is normal?”
he went on about how I’m always tired, always have a headache, has mental disorders and thinks it’s largely contributed by my diet and life style. He went on about how he’s never seen me eat a salad or vegetables or fruit. He said “you can’t just live on pasta and fried food and soda”

He said that I’m likely malnutritioned and dehydrated for years and that unless I change it’s going to destroy my body. Ive felt so violated that I started crying. Now im just exhausted and want to go home.

i told him to stop commenting on how i eat because ill likely develop bulimia because of his comments. He literally told me that if I don’t change my life style he’s going to call off the marriage because he says “I will not marry someone who doesn’t prioritize health”. I told him that he cannot control me as it’s my body and it’s my choice on how I eat and live.

that evening I tried to make love to him and he turned me down saying that I’m not well and he thinks I might pass out during sex. I felt like he just didn’t want me at all..felt so rejected. He said that I’m still cold sweating looks pale and that I should really stop eating fried noodles and eat some salad and drink 2 liters of water today and do this everyday and he just went to sleep.

I know I’m not diabetic from tests a while
back but I did take blood pressure the next morning at a pharmacy near by and my bp came back hypotension.

we were ok that day went to pool but he won’t touch me the way he used to and I’m feeling insecure.

did i handle this ok? It didn’t escalate into a big fight but was thinking it’s my body my choice the right thing to say in this point? His point is that it’s selfish because he’s the one responsible for medical bills for us and that I should be taking care of my health for both of us as he does the same.

You do know you can’t just bowl in to a relationship and demand full financial support but with 50% ‘power’?

I have been with my husband for over a decade. At the start, I was the higher earner, we moved in together after a year and everything was 50/50 (well, expect for the cleaning, he’s a bit pony at that). Now, two children and several house moves later, I am a stay at home mum, with him providing the finances to cover the family and I do the rest of it. Your ‘traditional’ set up with the ‘provider man’, perhaps? But we make decisions together, support each other and, yes, remind each other so we don’t forget things. This has developed over time, as with most healthy relationships. You seem to want to jump to the end without putting in the work to get there - that just isn’t how these things work…

Edited to add: this post is in no way in support of your argument that you’ll ‘give your future husband a baby’ so should be exempt from anything else…

That’s your definition of “not being useless”?
I suspect you’d just be “giving” your future husband an additional set of responsibilities that you’d refuse to be involved in, tbh.

But you don't take care of the home - you won't even answer the door to let a tradesman in so he could fix something.

You can’t look after yourself, mentally or physically, or have a functional relationship at the moment, OP. Having a baby isn’t something that should even be on your radar.

Also, most women who ‘give their husband a baby’ do so while taking responsibility for their own health and happiness, working, having functional relationships with their spouse and other people etc.

If you can’t open the door for a delivery or ask someone for a pen, if you can’t understand what a healthy diet or a functional relationship is, or manage your own finances, then you have no business having a child.

Please can everyone stop replying to this troll like they're not making up the most outlandish stories and pretending to be the most deranged, horrible person 😂

Don't do this, you have been told over and over again how your ridiculous controlling behaviour is driving this poor man mad, if he actually does exist. You've had a eating disorder before so him trying to help eat more healthy balances diet is something you should thank him for, all you do is moan about him and have dramatic fainting fits when he does something you dont like. Praying for tortured children is not a cult, don't be so silly, he should, but can't, do what he wants, he doesn't need your permission.

His friends have met you, and they’ve seen their good friend become a hollow shell of a man. I’m surprised if they haven’t been encouraging him to dump you and move on with his life, heal, and find a partner who’ll appreciate him and love him, who he can love easily in return.

That’s what good friends would do - they’re his friends and not yours. You have none because of your combative argumentative attitude towards even the tiniest of things.

Your parents love and support will only stretch so far so be careful you don’t also push them to the point of throwing you out or you’ll have nothing left.

She has panic attacks when she has to go out. Unless it’s meeting her ex BFs friends or visiting a temple when her poor BF is ill and wants to stay in bed. Then she skips merrily along without any anxiety. Funny that it’s all on her terms.

That’s terrifying thought when you’ve already said you must be top priority in your home, above any child.

Please don’t reproduce.

I'll scream and scream untill I'm sick

I have nothing sensible or useful to add to this ridiculous thread so I just thought I'd compliment you on your wonderful user name! What an incredibly beautiful and moving song Maroon is, and a far more fair and rational reflection on a failed romantic relationship than anything this OP is sadly ever going to be capable of.

Thank you @Everlore - it’s such a gorgeous track; I love the mirroring and progression in the verses…and likewise!