Finished session 2 with therapy. She addressed why my vision might become blurry when I’m stressed. She thinks that my brain doesn’t want me to see something and that stress is the trigger for it.
we dove deeper into my childhood trauma and talked more about myself. We have not reached diagnosis stage as we have a wide arrange of things to cover.
im currently traveling in China with my fiancé. We’ve already gotten into a few arguments but nothing major I see a big improvement already. I’d like your feedback on what the issue is, If it’s indeed my problem again and how I can address it better next time.
i know I don’t have the best diet. He’s been reminding me to drink water this entire time and I have a hard time drinking water if it’s not cold and when I’m full. We went out to get coffee and I suddenly got dizzy and passed out. I woke up a few seconds later and he shoved a bunch of candy in my mouth and forced me to eat it. I felt better in about 5 minutes and he carried me back to our hotel.
he looked so worried and he started telling me that he suspects I might be either diabetic and has hypoglycemia or have extremely low blood pressure. Either way it’s not good. Then he went on about how I really need to stop eating fried food and sugary things and focus on hydration and getting minerals in my body. I got so annoyed and got loud and said that I’ve been this way my whole life and it’s perfectly normal.
then he started listing things and saying things like “passing out in the middle of the street is normal?”
he went on about how I’m always tired, always have a headache, has mental disorders and thinks it’s largely contributed by my diet and life style. He went on about how he’s never seen me eat a salad or vegetables or fruit. He said “you can’t just live on pasta and fried food and soda”
He said that I’m likely malnutritioned and dehydrated for years and that unless I change it’s going to destroy my body. Ive felt so violated that I started crying. Now im just exhausted and want to go home.
i told him to stop commenting on how i eat because ill likely develop bulimia because of his comments. He literally told me that if I don’t change my life style he’s going to call off the marriage because he says “I will not marry someone who doesn’t prioritize health”. I told him that he cannot control me as it’s my body and it’s my choice on how I eat and live.
that evening I tried to make love to him and he turned me down saying that I’m not well and he thinks I might pass out during sex. I felt like he just didn’t want me at all..felt so rejected. He said that I’m still cold sweating looks pale and that I should really stop eating fried noodles and eat some salad and drink 2 liters of water today and do this everyday and he just went to sleep.
I know I’m not diabetic from tests a while
back but I did take blood pressure the next morning at a pharmacy near by and my bp came back hypotension.
we were ok that day went to pool but he won’t touch me the way he used to and I’m feeling insecure.
did i handle this ok? It didn’t escalate into a big fight but was thinking it’s my body my choice the right thing to say in this point? His point is that it’s selfish because he’s the one responsible for medical bills for us and that I should be taking care of my health for both of us as he does the same.