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Original poster

Husband to go on a trip with his family without me and the kids

177 replies

Mummymember · 25/07/2025 01:43

Just wanted opinions on this matter,
My sister in law turns 50th this weekend. We are going to UK Peak District this weekend to celebrate. We have all paid to stay in a big house together. My husband and i were bringing iur 2 year old and 4 month old with us.

My two year old has now got chickenpox and we are supposed to be going tomorrow, he is well in himself at the moment but we cannot tale him with us as my husbands uncle is undergoing chemotherapy and cannot be around infectious people which is understandle and he would still like to go on the trip. My husband still wants to go which means i would need to stay at home with the kids for two nights alone. Whats everyones thoughts on this? Should he be staying with us? My youngest is 4 months old and im still finding it quite chaotic at home with a 4 month old and 2 year old and im worried my baby is going to catch chickenpox off his brother or if my toddler gets poorly with chickenpox. My mother is also out of town that weekend so id have no support whilst my husband is gone.
He is very close with his sister so i get him
not wanting to miss it however we have just all got back from A holiday in turkey to celebrate his sisters 50th also. She arranged this UK trip as this is when her actual birthday falls on
need advice please!

OP posts:
99bottlesofkombucha · 25/07/2025 01:48

How far are you from the Peak District? Can he just go up for one night?

Whereismypurse · 25/07/2025 01:56

Personally I’d let him go. Unfortunately when children are sick they are easier to manage (lower amounts of energy) I’d have a chill out w/e at home and watch some tv

Shitstix · 25/07/2025 02:02

I think 1 night away if distance makes it possible, is a fair compromise.

Hope your dc is feeling better soon! I got both mine immunised against CP after my dn had a terrible time with it.

coxesorangepippin · 25/07/2025 02:04

Yes I'd let him go

NightPuffins · 25/07/2025 02:06

Assuming DH has already had chicken pox himself and won’t be taking it to the sick uncle, yes I think you should encourage him to go. It’s a special occasion for someone he is close to. Ideally the two of you can plan/prep your weekend first so that you don’t need to go food shopping or whatever else.

Jamesblonde2 · 25/07/2025 02:11

What do you think single mothers do? Not that I am one but plenty seem to survive. Why should you all lose out?

Oriunda · 25/07/2025 02:14

I coped just fine when DS got cp. In an overseas country, too. Your DH should go on his trip.

Tourmalines · 25/07/2025 02:15

Of course he should go . It’s only 2 nights .

Btowngirl · 25/07/2025 02:17

Why doesn’t he go & take your 4month old? If not, he could go but be on standby just in case it gets wild at home. Don’t think I’d say don’t go just in case, although you have my empathy as we have a 3 yo & 8 mo and the juggle can be real!

SD1978 · 25/07/2025 02:19

It’s a special event, and it’s 2 nights, I don’t see any reason he can’t go, he has a phone if you need him to come back. I don’t blame him for still wanting to attend.

BlondieMuver · 25/07/2025 02:24

Yes, he should go.
It's only 2 nights.
It's his sisters 50th...

707girl · 25/07/2025 02:29

This happened to me, I had four kids with chickenpox while husband and eldest went to a family reunion in Fiji! I was gutted, so I went to my mum and dads who live near the sea, got the kids some expensive lego kits, and we ate icecream and fish and chips all covered in calemine lotion.
It wasn't fun but it wasn't going to help to keep my husband and son at home, its made for some funny photos - like a holiday with cream-smeared children!
The only thing to be careful of is whether he could possibly be carrying chicken pox himself - as it can take awhile to show. If he's already had it, I wouldn't worry.
Not a nice time for you though hon. Think if there is any way to make it easier on you - can you go somewhere where there might be people to help you?

Summerhillsquare · 25/07/2025 02:32

Surely your husband is contagious ?

Anyway he should be prioritising the family he created not the one that provides nice holidays.

DaisyDoodler · 25/07/2025 02:32

My concern wouldn’t be him going re leaving me and child at home, my concern would be that due to the incubation period for chickenpox your baby could be a carrier unknowingly at this point which would negate the point of your toddler staying home as the infection would still be an issue.

Pleasegiveadvic · 25/07/2025 02:32

Think you are very right to want your husband home with you. He has already celebrated with her. It’s a stressful time having a newborn and a toddler never mind when one of them is unwell. Both the babies need all the love and attention right now and you can’t be 2 places at the one time so daddy has to stay home.

Cutleryclaire · 25/07/2025 02:36

I would expect my DH to still go in those circumstances.

NaiceBalonz · 25/07/2025 02:39

Of course he should go. Ludicrous to think he shouldn't just because you have two children.

Pleasegiveadvic · 25/07/2025 02:42

Depending the circumstances I can agree. But feel as if the way mummymember is posting she obviously is needing some support right now. Has considered extended family who aren’t available to help her so then responsibility falls back on dad.

Muffinmam · 25/07/2025 02:42

I would let him go. But I wouldn’t have children so close in age so I don’t know the reality of your situation.

Chicken pox is highly infectious and I would be concerned about a four month old getting sick.

Is chicken pox dangerous for tiny babies?

Silvers11 · 25/07/2025 03:06

Surely your husband could be carrying the virus, even if he has had chicken pox? For that reason I don't think he should go. it would be awful to pass something to his uncle.

ButteredRadish · 25/07/2025 03:07

Even if your DH has already had CP, all that means is that his body won’t react - he will still be carrying it and will pass it on to his uncle.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 25/07/2025 03:10

Assuming he cant pass it on to his uncle, I think he should go.

ForMauveSquid · 25/07/2025 03:11

Given your situation—solo with a 2-year-old who has chickenpox and a 4-month-old baby, plus no backup support—it’s entirely reasonable to ask your husband to stay home. While it’s understandable he wants to be there for his sister, your immediate family’s needs come first, especially with a sick child and a vulnerable baby. You’re not saying he can’t ever go, just that this may not be the right time. A fair compromise might be him going just for the day, if travel allows.

Original poster
Mummymember · 25/07/2025 04:46

Cutleryclaire · 25/07/2025 02:36

I would expect my DH to still go in those circumstances.

ok

OP posts:
ayvasili · 25/07/2025 05:00

I was fully prepared to tell you to suck it up and let him go, until I saw the bit where you had already done a whole celebration abroad with sil. I know 50 is a big one (I too am 50 this year) and will probably be celebrating in different ways all year, but there is no need for multiple big parties. Your husbands priority here should be his sick child.