Husband to go on a trip with his family without me and the kids

[Mummymember]

Just wanted opinions on this matter,
My sister in law turns 50th this weekend. We are going to UK Peak District this weekend to celebrate. We have all paid to stay in a big house together. My husband and i were bringing iur 2 year old and 4 month old with us.

My two year old has now got chickenpox and we are supposed to be going tomorrow, he is well in himself at the moment but we cannot tale him with us as my husbands uncle is undergoing chemotherapy and cannot be around infectious people which is understandle and he would still like to go on the trip. My husband still wants to go which means i would need to stay at home with the kids for two nights alone. Whats everyones thoughts on this? Should he be staying with us? My youngest is 4 months old and im still finding it quite chaotic at home with a 4 month old and 2 year old and im worried my baby is going to catch chickenpox off his brother or if my toddler gets poorly with chickenpox. My mother is also out of town that weekend so id have no support whilst my husband is gone.
He is very close with his sister so i get him
not wanting to miss it however we have just all got back from A holiday in turkey to celebrate his sisters 50th also. She arranged this UK trip as this is when her actual birthday falls on
need advice please!

Of course he should go. It would be different if you were all specifically excluded. Or he got the bright idea for a lads weekend away as soon as the chicken pox appeared. But this is a planned trip for a big celebration and your dc are well enough, just infectious.

Dh was best man and organised the stage do’s for two of his close friends. Perfect timing, our dc came down with chicken pox before one and a vomiting bug before the other. He couldn’t just cancel. I mean they were relatively sedate weekends at country houses. 😂 But still he was the one who booked it all so couldn’t just not turn up. It was fine. We managed.

new mums are way less resilient than before. It's astonishing.

Yes, he should go. Preferably after making a couple of meals that you can reheat. He should also check with his uncle if he presents any risk.

I would send my DH to go and if we were passed the breastfeeding bit he would have sent me.

DH used to get to do some really amazing trips with his work leaving me at home with three very young children for several weeks. He would always offer to stay but I would always make him go. Weirdly only talking about this last night and now that they are all teenagers I can barely remember it being difficult him being away despite having a chronic illness myself. I think I just cracked on and did it.

He on the other hand has loads of amazing memories which I would have hated to have prevented him from having. He often looked after the kids so I could go away with friends and now I have a job that I travel a lot with so swings and round abouts!

Life is very short you only really remember the bits where you're not doing the daily drudge.

Two nights for a pre planned trip seems fine. It’s not exactly an extended period of time.

As I said previously, I’m quite concerned that the uncle is happy with this weekend situation anyway.
You guys have all just come back from Turkey and presumably packed into an aeroplane that was potentially full of bugs and germs. Any of you could be harbouring anything!
Were you all together during your toddler’s incubation period?

Nonsense. Most people lived within spitting distance of their families in generations gone by, cousins entertained each other, sisters and grandmothers chipped in.
Mothers today are doing more hands on mothering than ever.

I can’t get over the number of people on here who are either completely ignoring or minimising the fact that the OP’s DH’s uncle is undergoing chemotherapy and would be at risk of being very ill if he caught chickenpox. Did no-one read what @TheSandgroper wrote?

Here is a reminder, she said:
"DH shouldn’t go. My own now departed DM got chicken pox when she was immunocompromised and we nearly lost her and it was horrible.
There is nothing much like being greeted first thing in the morning when you go onto the ward with the nurses saying “we fought hard for your Mum’s life last night”. She went into full rigor (rigor mortis without the mortis) for a full week. Every muscle just locked up. And she was in our major hospital for a month before she was released to our local (from where she never came home but that was more the brain tumour). From chicken pox.
DH shouldn’t go.”

Yes he should go. Your breastfeeding so that will offer some protection to your baby. I have two very close together and it’s daunting doing things solo but you will cope and then you’ll feel amazing after. It really helped me to push myself out of my comfort zone managing two young ones together. And your husband will really owe you too.

@Jaichangecentfoisdenom Thank you.

I should like to point out that the greeting of “we fought hard for your mother’s life last night” was on a number of mornings, not just a one off.

You will manage fine but honestly wondering why you have to? He has been on the holiday to celebrate. I actually don't think he should go.

I mean statistically the DH has most likely already had chicken pox and therefore it’s extremely rare that he would have it again and therefore be any risk.
I’m sure he knows if he’s had chickenpox.

I’d not have an issue with him going. Its unfortunate, and can’t be helped but that’s no reason for him not to go

@Hodgemollar - if you were the uncle in this case, would you want to risk it?

It wouldn’t even cross my mind not to let him go

I can't understand why every mother needs support for things like this.

It's just 2 nights.

There is almost no risk from someone who has already had chicken pox.

Children get sick, your an adult you can manage two nights. There are many parents on their own due to partners working away much earlier than four months...let alone single mums. Get prepped while he's here...meals in freezer etc and get on with it.

My daughter had it twice 30 years ago, I know 2 children who had it for the second time last term.

Its 2 nights, youll manage.

Been thinking about this and was interested enough to google and it doesn't seem like your DH can pass it along. You said yourself that your toddler is over the worst of it and well in himself, your baby isn't a newborn anymore and is breastfed so unlikely to catch it, and you've presumably had chickenpox before so won't catch it yourself. I can't quite work out why you would ask DH to skip this as presumably the uncle is quite looking forward to this get together (although I do think staying in a house with a bunch of people just home from a holiday is really risky for someone in his situation!)

Only 3 hours away , of course he should go for both nights. In an emergency he can come back.

I would let him go and just get ready as possible before he leaves ie meal prep etc. He can travel back if need be its only three hours.

My greater concern is his uncle - is there any reason your hubby could pass the virus on to him? Doesn't chicken pox trigger shingles potentially in adults who have have had chicken pox?

actually sorry I researched it now and its this so it should be ok if your hubby has had chicken pox before:

When you get chickenpox, the virus stays in your body. The virus can be triggered again if your immune system is weak. This causes shingles

Just to clarify his uncle has spoken to the hospital and my husband would be fine to be around him.
his family have been very pushy for husband to go and as mentioned previously we have just gotten back from a week abroad celebrating the same persons birthday. Also going out for dinner next week for the same Birthday.
My toddler has gone downhill since last night.
so would it be helpful for my husband to stay and help me due to all the celebrations we have carried out already ill be honest yes! They are both our children and i feel its not just my problem.
i have coped since my baby was born with managing illness’s alone thats not my point. Would it be hard if he goes, of course it would be!