Husband to go on a trip with his family without me and the kids

[Mummymember]

Just wanted opinions on this matter,
My sister in law turns 50th this weekend. We are going to UK Peak District this weekend to celebrate. We have all paid to stay in a big house together. My husband and i were bringing iur 2 year old and 4 month old with us.

My two year old has now got chickenpox and we are supposed to be going tomorrow, he is well in himself at the moment but we cannot tale him with us as my husbands uncle is undergoing chemotherapy and cannot be around infectious people which is understandle and he would still like to go on the trip. My husband still wants to go which means i would need to stay at home with the kids for two nights alone. Whats everyones thoughts on this? Should he be staying with us? My youngest is 4 months old and im still finding it quite chaotic at home with a 4 month old and 2 year old and im worried my baby is going to catch chickenpox off his brother or if my toddler gets poorly with chickenpox. My mother is also out of town that weekend so id have no support whilst my husband is gone.
He is very close with his sister so i get him
not wanting to miss it however we have just all got back from A holiday in turkey to celebrate his sisters 50th also. She arranged this UK trip as this is when her actual birthday falls on
need advice please!

Of course he should go.
What a world we are in where parents cannot cope with their own children on their own for 48 hours without having back up.

Of course he can go for two nights for his sisters birthday. You can order takeaway, not worry about house stuff and focus on the kids.

Agree. I don't understand a man actually wanting to go in this case, wouldn't he worry about his wife coping with a sick child and a baby? And all for a birthday that's already been celebrated with a holiday abroad? How many birthday getaways does one person need? If your dh is wanting to go and his sister etc are encouraging him in the circumstances, they're all self-centred twats who think women are the default parents.

The uncle undergoing chemo needs to talk to his medical team.
If they are happy with DH attending, I think he should go (without the baby).

It would be very, very irresponsible for your husband to go having been in contact with an infectious condition such as chicken pox and be in the company of someone having chemo. Your body still reacts to an illness even if you've had it before or are immune by carrying it while your body fights it off although the person will feel fine.
Chemo smashes the body's defences so any contact like this can be deadly. Someone did this to me while I was having chemo and I ended up in hospital with sepsis because someone who'd already had chicken pox as a child thought it was ok to see me when their child got it - twat didn't mention it until they were leaving!

I think he should go yes, it’s his family. Sure you’ll be ok for 2 nights.

I agree. It is tough on you I know but it is not for long and these special occasions do not happen often.

Goodness - most of us are capable of looking after our kids on our own for a few days (in my case, weeks whilst my husband was working abroad)

And that's your opinion.

Maybe op isn't 'most of us' hence she's posting. I'm seeing things from her perspective, why don't you try it? There is a sick child involved here. I don't think I would find it easy at all.

It’s a family celebration so I’d expect him to go. It’s hard on you but surely he’d look after your kids for you to have a weekend away?

Hope the chickenpox isn’t too bad.

Yes he should go. You can manage.

Has your husband had chickenpox? If not he shouldn't go incase he's infectious.

I'd let him go but let him know he makes sure you're all organised at home before he goes and that he sets off early to come home.

I wouldn’t expect him to cancel but I’d check about the chickenpox as I think he can still pass it on even without your child being there.

Exactly this. And also, your husband might be contagious himself, I think it would be irresponsible of him, with regard to his uncle, to go at all

In principle I wouldn't ask DH to cancel - but the CP and uncle having chemo would worry me, can he speak to a pharmacist before he goes?

I think you should get lots of easy meals in and let him go with the understanding that if it becomes too much or things change he'll come back.
Also as you're breast-feeding you'll probably find the baby has extremely mild chicken pox but then has the immunity. My younger son had it at 4 months old with 2 spots and some grumpiness, has been exposed since but never had it again.

In what world is an adult unable to look after a toddler and baby for a few days? Time to build a backbone!

on the other hand, I would check with the uncle, if DH happens to be contagious that would be disastrous.

The kids aren’t even sick though. The toddler has chickenpox but isn’t ill with it. He’s only going to be three hours away so IF something happens that the OP is unable to cope without help he could drive home.

The kids aren’t even sick though. The toddler has chickenpox but isn’t ill with it. He’s only going to be three hours away so IF something happens that the OP is unable to cope without help he could drive home.

The kids aren’t even sick though. The toddler has chickenpox but isn’t ill with it. He’s only going to be three hours away so IF something happens that the OP is unable to cope without help he could drive home.

The kids aren’t even sick though. The toddler has chickenpox but isn’t ill with it. He’s only going to be three hours away so IF something happens that the OP is unable to cope without help he could drive home.

Doesn’t that defeat the point of not going?

I wouldn't have to say anything to my dh because there is no way he'd leave me alone with two small kids and one of them sick .

If you are breastfeeding it is less likely the baby will get it and if he does it should be very mild. I was still breastfeeding my 1 year old when she caught it. She had about 10 spots. They say the younger the better. At least you are getting it out of the way.

Also if the uncle has had chickenpox surely it’s not a risk? You can’t get it twice.

I don't think you're being precious and of course you can cope with your children if your husband away. The point is, why should you have to ? You're not a single parent.

His reaction of wanting to go to celebrate a second party for the same adult and same birthday is pretty shitty given that one of his children is ill, the other is a breastfeeding baby and his wife could do with some support, not because she can't cope without it but because it's the right thing to do as a husband and a parent.

Add in the vulnerable uncle and the fact that he would even risk it - for a party - is a sign that he's a selfish twat. He's putting you in the role of either giving him permission to go or being responsible for missing a family event instead of being the adult in the room and recognising that the correct response is to want to protect his uncle and to want to support his immediate family.