Husband to go on a trip with his family without me and the kids

[Mummymember]

Just wanted opinions on this matter,
My sister in law turns 50th this weekend. We are going to UK Peak District this weekend to celebrate. We have all paid to stay in a big house together. My husband and i were bringing iur 2 year old and 4 month old with us.

My two year old has now got chickenpox and we are supposed to be going tomorrow, he is well in himself at the moment but we cannot tale him with us as my husbands uncle is undergoing chemotherapy and cannot be around infectious people which is understandle and he would still like to go on the trip. My husband still wants to go which means i would need to stay at home with the kids for two nights alone. Whats everyones thoughts on this? Should he be staying with us? My youngest is 4 months old and im still finding it quite chaotic at home with a 4 month old and 2 year old and im worried my baby is going to catch chickenpox off his brother or if my toddler gets poorly with chickenpox. My mother is also out of town that weekend so id have no support whilst my husband is gone.
He is very close with his sister so i get him
not wanting to miss it however we have just all got back from A holiday in turkey to celebrate his sisters 50th also. She arranged this UK trip as this is when her actual birthday falls on
need advice please!

Normally I’d have wanted mine to go under those circumstances; I looked my children with chickenpox when my partner was away and it was fine. But with an immune-compromised person there, there’s no way I’d be happy with that. The risk of making them ill is far too high.

There are some single mothers who look after two children or more on their own all of the time, with no support and even if poorly. If they can you can too.

I’d let him go too, and just accept a weekend with lots of TV

On the flip side, I was also perfectly OK with going away myself when they were small and leaving my husband to deal with whatever came up.

For a bit of a different perspective to PP’s, I wouldn’t have to ask my husband to stay he just would, without question.

There’s no way he’d leave me, as someone said to manage like a single parent, while he’s off having fun. I’ve never had to prompt him to make the right decisions or prioritise us, we’re a team and that takes priority every single time.

I would expect him to go. You have to step up.

You don't need to worry about baby showing symptoms this weekend even if they do catch it. Average incubation time for chicken pox is 2 weeks (infection to symptoms) which means even if baby is brewing it they are won't show any symptoms for a while yet.

My Husband went away with friends for the weekend when mine were the same age. Both were unwell with a virus and up all night. It wasn't fun but the trip had been planned for ages and it wasn't fair to stop him going. He didn't have the best time as he felt guilty leaving. Lots of TV, baths, easy meals.

I'd let him go. It's only a couple of nights.
However, if you really feel like you can't cope then you're not unreasonable to ask him to stay at home. His immediate family should come first.

honestly- it’s two nights. You’ll cope. And please don’t say just for one night. He can always come home if the shit really does hit the fan.

Is he hoping for an inheritance from his uncle or something??

Of course he doesn’t go. Regardless of whether you feel you can cope or not, he’s a risk to his uncle’s life. Admittedly, it may be a small risk, but does your DH really want to be the person who puts his sick uncle in hospital/in the grave when he can avoid it?

It’s two nights!

He shouldn’t go. He has a poorly child at home and a newborn. He needs to prioritise being there for both of them not his sister birthday which has already been celebrated.

Step up to where? I can guarantee that as a mum of a newborn with a poorly child. She’ll already be doing the lion share.

Whereas my husband would have (&has) been pushing me out of the door, if it had been a friend or family event planned, saying he was more than capable for a couple of nights if one was unwell.

I’d be more concerned about the immunocompromised (I am) and it still boils my piss when people don’t tell me they are unwell and means I invariably catch something.

If they caught it at the same time the 4 month old could be infectious and come out in spots at any point

I think he should go. Your DS probably won't be very ill with chicken pox, for most children it's a mild illness. Get some calamine lotion and calpol and he will be fine. Your little one is unlikely to catch it if you are fully breastfeeding. My 4 and 2 year old both had chicken pox when my youngest was just a few days old - I rang the GP and he reassured me that breastfeeding would convey my own immunity and he was right, the baby didn't catch it.

I think you should be able to cope with 2 children for 2 nights - even if you watch a bit more tv than usual and have easy dinners like scrambled egg/beans on toast! Just get DH to do a food shop before he goes so you've got everything you need.

My husband wouldn’t go. Kids and wife come first. When you have small kids you have to make sacrifices. In the grand scheme of things, missing out on this trip is minor.

I'm guessing Fri night / Sat night, suggest he leaves Saturday lunch time, they'll probably have to vacate by 10am so he'll be home by lunch time on the Sunday. I personally would be happy for my dh to go for both nights, if the worse we're to happen re his uncle he may resent missing out on precious time with him.

I just think that unless the mum is unwell, most of us can probably cope with this. I wouldn’t expect my husband to cancel this trip- it’s two days and he could come back early if there was a major emergency (like he would be expected to anyway).

.

Surely your DH is now potentially contagious??

Depends how ill the child is. Mine was really sick. Dh would of stayed home im sure

Only if he’s not had it before

I think if he can get home in 3 hours I would just ask that he doesn't drink so that he can drive back in an emergency.

I would be happy for my DH to go, it’s only 2 nights and the trip has been booked in for ages- it doesn’t need two of you to stay at home.

Let him go OP. It’s two nights.