Is my partner still stuck on his ex

[Zoezoe25]

I've met my partner in October last year, he cheated (I didn't know) on his then partner and 5 year old son at the time, she found out about us in November he said, then we went official in December. They were together 6 years, and from he told me the relationship was toxic. However I do not condone the cheating, but I do love him and believe he will not do that to me, we have an amazing relationship.
He currently lives with me and my 2 DDs, we are incredibly happy together, there are a few small issues but I'm sure we can pull through.

The issue is this
His ex refuses to communicate with him on anything other than email.
I helped him get set up on an email address and show him how to use email.
His ex doesn't really bother him TBF only for money and contact, she has a bf as far I as know.
He asked to use my phone the other day and logged into his email account as his phone has died, but forgot to log out.
Last night I had a meal out with family and the Uber home was over a 30 min drive back home so I went on my phone emails and what I came across is an email from this ex on Sunday.
He's was lying to her, told her a month ago that I was pregnant, then told her a week ago we was having a boy, and then told his son twice he was having a brother, his ex was on the call.
He told her the truth on Saturday, she obviously went mad from her email in regards to him lying to their son on one occasion.

He was asleep when I got home, but I can't help but think he must still love her, or else why would he lie to her about this, why wind her up for some long.
I'm really confused and worried - should I confront him?

@Beamur I'm 37 next year I don't want to be too old to have our baby.
But thank you for your kind kind words.

Oh get a fucking grip, he isn't your family! He’s using you for a hole to put his cock and for somewhere to live. No one falls in love faster than a man who needs a roof over his head. He’s a piss poor example of a man and you’re a piss poor example of a mother if you think that is a good man. Again, poor kids.

Are you reading different posts to the rest of us? She sounds anything but good hearted and kind when she’s supporting her shitty boyfriend in not supporting his own child. I’m so disgusted at what I’ve read here.

😂Ah the school holidays are upon us already I see!

I WILL NOT BE REPLYING ANYMORE
my DD are safe and loved
Say what you want, I do not care

Oh my God. Another baby. I presume when he fucks off with the next loser to fall for his “charms”, you’ll be expecting him to pay towards YOUR baby?

You need to grow up. You are appalling.

“I do not care”

Yeah lass, we can see that.

This thread is a great example of why some women should never be allowed to become mothers.

Shame on you OP.

It is absolutely disgraceful, and so shameful, that you are allowing this man to be in your daughter’s lives.

I’m shocked at just how selfish you are.

I’m lost for words, honestly, at how any mother could think it’s ok to expose her young daughters to this.

I do not care.

You will when he leaves you, with another little one… to go and get his needs met, because of your toxic relationship that you knew nothing about, a good distance away… and you have to hand over your small child to him and his new victim who play happy families together once every two weeks while you deal with the consequences.

This IS your future.

Another woman who should never have had kids

37 - yeah right😂😂😂😂

And another child will be born into a dysfunctional household with feckless parents

Yep. The bored 14 year olds are out in force already.

God help us by August

Because his son deserves to have a relationship with his dad independently of whoever his dad might be currently involved in.

You're not a family.

O,P, I'm 51 and my partner is a decade older. We've been together nearly 4 years. We get on really well with each others adult children and sometimes go out all together but, even so, we still both go out/meet up with our own children alone because, as much as his children and I like each other, they want to spend time with their dad and not me. The dynamics are different, what they share is different. Same goes for my children and they are adults - not very young children whose lives have just been turned upside down.

"Back off"? You were the one who came on here to tell your sorry story 😅

You absolutely do condone all of his behaviour. The cheating. The lying. The refusal to pay for his own child! The being a deadbeat dad. You condone it all by staying with him, and by holding him up as an example of a partner and a father to your own daughters. What else could "condoning" possibly mean in this context? The only way you could not condone it, would be to have shunned him when you learned of his behaviour. But you didn't. His behaviour as a deadbeat non-paying father is ongoing, and still you stay.

Just call a spade a spade and be honest with yourself.

Geezus, read these posts back to yourself.

"Yes, he cheated but..."
"Yes, he lied, but..."
"No he doesn't pay for his child, but..."

Stop making excuses for this sorry, useless excuse of a man! He isn't a "good" man, and the sooner you wake up and realise that, the better. What are you doing?!

A child living with their biological mother and an unrelated man is 33 times more likely to suffer abuse. You can't possibly know someone after 9 months, you've been extremely irresponsible!

But he isn't.

Op come on just because someone is nice to you (debatable TBF as he's lied) doesn't make him good.

Don't you see that how he treats others is how he will treat you in future?

Of course your relationship is good in the first year, so he can have a place to stay. But cracks are already showing.

Yes sometimes we fall for the wrong people. The issue however is that you seem to think that excuses putting your kids at risk. You could love this man and NOT have him around your children. At not even 10 months in, you don't actually know him yet.

Loving someone doesn't mean suddenly not having and boundaries.

Holy bajeezus this has to be a wind up.

You have 2 kids already and this guy is messy. You don't bring kids into the world with men who don't even pay for the kids they already have.

Sadly mumsnet have removed the laughing reaction because all of ops posts are laughable.

Can’t wait for the “name changed because people will say I told you so but my affair partner cheated on me, left and has a baby with someone else. I’m 38, just got my life back and now have an 1 year old that my ex doesn’t pay for or see”

some threads are a substitute for Jeremy Kyle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"It's sad that he lied to his son"

Sad! Sad!???? SAD.

No it's effing demented. It's demented behaviour. What in the ever living eff are you thinking. 'He's a good man'...but just happens to lie to his ex, his son, doesn't pay for his son after effing off, having an affair, and then leaving to go 2 hours away. Nahhh. You're cooked

Am I imagining things but did he pretend you’re pregnant to his ex, and tell his kids he’s going to get a brother????

Most parents who gets an ex to communicate by email only, do it because the other parent is abusive/plays minds games, and stop and start child payments. It’s to log all his shitty actions and words!
He told his ex you were pregnant was having a boy because he wants her to feel their child is being replaced and he also told his little boy, to try to hurt him, that’s beyond fucking cruel!
Once you’ve had this baby, don’t be surprised if you find out he’s been sleeping with other women behind your back and probably will be love bombing his ex too.
Your poor DD’s will discarded once your baby is born, as will his son be and then you will see the real man you’ve moved in.
I’m sure you will be back on Mumsnet in 18 months, asking for advice though.

Actually I’m thinking this is a wind up!

Sorry but he sounds like an absolute loser! He doesn’t pay for his son and lies to him and you are happy to have him living with your daughters?