A thread for FwB survivors (perhaps a little tongue in cheek) Part 2

[Clytemnestra21]

Hi all 👋
New thread to continue the old one for those of who still take part. Hope this works and everyone can see it?

👋 hi, thanks for asking @moresunlessrainand @shivermetimbers
Date got postponed and was this weekend. It was really good date, fun and funny. He’s definitely looking for something very casual though. So could just be replacing FwB with a new one. 🤷‍♀️ we didn’t sleep together, came quite close but I held back, weirdly I feel like I need to tell FwB before something like that happens. Am I being silly?

Do you want something casual with this guy @Clytemnestra21? Or are you looking for something that could turn into something more emotionally connected/committed?

Are You sure you want another FWB situationship? Or do you mean in addition to current FWB? Personally yes I’d tell both they were not exclusive. How would you feel about having that conversation with current FWB?

Honestly @shivermetimbers77i wanted more with existing FwB and feel ready for a more fulfilling relationship. But exh is about to massively reduce my child free time (😅) and I was already feeling like I wanted to have sex more frequently than was possible for current FwB so maybe having another wouldn’t be so bad! 🤣

@Moresunlessraini think new guy would be quite happy to be number 2. But I need to have convo with FwB and I don’t know how it will go down with him.

Just looked back at this and used the wrong emoji- I honestly feel a bit frustrated about child free time - especially as he’s not given me any choice. But it impacts how realistic a relationship
could be

that’s rubbish of him. How much free time will you have a month now?

Will you have time for 2 men?!

He’s proposing to reduce it by two thirds!! It’s rubbish. Proper dick move which had put me in a position where I don’t really have a choice.
no, don’t think I’ll have time for two But don’t know if FwB will end things anyway, and wouldn’t expect new guy to stick around for long (though I could be wrong)

I don't know why you feel you have to tell FWB about new guy? It's not his business. He could have others too unless he's told you he has then yea tell him.

But if you think telling him is gonna jolt him into commiting to you then you will be disappointed. I hope I'm wrong though

Hi @Kat888i would love it if it prompted him to give me more, but don’t think that’s going to happen.

I don’t think he’s sleeping with anyone else. He’s told me he isn’t and I’d be gutted if he was. But it’s more about being as transparent with him as I’d hope he’d be with me.

I’m pretty certain my FWB would end things if I said I wanted to sleep with someone else (as would I). It’s tricky to broach exclusivity a year or more in

Yeh, I get that @Moresunlessrain
i really don’t want to stop seeing him but I feel like I I need to move on from him too. I’ve been feeling really stuck for a while. I don’t want to be dishonest and hide it. So I have to tell him. I’m hoping he’ll try to dissuade me but I think @kat888is right and that’s unlikely

I hope I’m not speaking out of turn @Clytemnestra21and it’s really none of my business, but I just feel worried about you getting involved with another man who only wants a casual thing when I think of how hurt you have been at times with the current FWB . Sorry , had to say something as I would definitely say it if you were an ‘in real life’ friend. But of course no judgement if you do decide to do it, you know yourself and what you can deal with.

Not out of turn at all @shivermetimbers77- appreciate you saying so

How is everybody doing. So went to see mine yesterday after a couple of weeks and he told me he wants us to be a swinging couple (but not as in a relationship) 🙈

What now? So he wants to meet up with other couples to swap and/or have group sex?

Yes. I know he sleeps with other girls as he does always ask me if it’s ok first, but yep basically that’s what he wants.

Do YOU want to do couple swapping and group sex? How is he explaining couple swapping when he insists you’re not a couple? Sounds more like warm body swapping and he wants you there as his entry ticket—as far as I understand, it’s much harder to single men to gain entry.

Hope you’re ok @ThatRubyLion
it’s worth evaluating what you get out of this. There are other people who would have a kind and caring FwB relationship with you so if you’re not into what he’s suggesting you don’t have to roll with it. Do things for you not him

Quick update from me. Second date ended with sleeping with new guy. It was fun but he’s definitely just up for a sex thing and was as @shivermetimbers77suggested, a bit head messing:

FwB very cross about it but has been much more attentive since and is trying to persuade me we should be exclusive. 🤷‍♀️

Well well well…how quickly he changes once he realises that you’re a hot commodity who isn’t only available to him. Proceed with caution though.

Can you explain to him that to you exclusive comes with a relationship? See what he says?

Just found this wonderful thread - will read through the previous one when time allows. My experience - in between lockdowns my long used decorator came to give me a quote. Used him for over 20 years and we always got on really well. We were both married for much of this time. Anyway, he quoted and sent a flirty text - i was very surprised - he's over 10 years younger than me. Lockdown came again and we buddied up. That was the beginning of an amazing FWB situation which lasted 4 years. I love him dearly and he feels the same but we never spoke about taking things further - no idea why. I then met someone and we backed off but kept in touch. This new relationship is a long distance one that is probably fizzling out. I've moved and decorator is coming round to give me a quote - haven't seen him since November when we went away for an amazing weekend to do something we both loved. I'm am so excited to see him - I think as a much loved friend but who knows .......

?

No idea why that posted twice!

Welcome @whyisnothingsimple
thats lovely about meet up with your FwB. Do you mind me asking how you know you love each other?. Have you blended lives in any way or is it a relationship others don’t know about. Feel free to tell me to get lost if you like, I know it’s none of my business but I’m interested as my FwB is appealing to my feelings at the moment and I want him to be sincere but I’m so wary.