45 and still lives in the house he grew up in with his parents, but he objects to me smoking

[WildflowerGardens]

So I had a first date with a man, 45, who it turns out still lives in the house he grew up in, with his parents. He has never moved out despite having a good job and no illnesses.

I left home when I was 18 to go to university, and since then have rented with friends or partners.

I was going to let it slide as he seemed like a nice man, but after our date he was texting regarding meeting again and then texted “By the way, do you plan to give up smoking?”

During our date I had had one cigarette in three hours, which I had well away from him and washed my hands thoroughly afterwards.

is it reasonable of him to ask me to give up smoking after one date? And should I be perturbed that he lives at home at 45, never having left?

Nah they didn’t and I still occasionally smoke weed for my perimenopause symptoms, works a treat . Mind you I own an expensive property, my son is at a top university (he wouldn’t get a tattoo either) and I run a successful businesses so I think they could’ve done worse.

You seem defensive so I assume you’ve got tattoo and are on the attack. You’re allowed to be against drugs and I’m allowed to think tattoos are common, just like OP isn’t getting excited about some guy making inappropriate comments and living at home at a grand age and he’s not into her smoking fags. People are allowed preferences.

No tattoos for me. I dislike drugs, smoking and alcohol as well.

Someone in my extended family lives at home at almost 50. Huge red flag for all of the reasons above. Money management, attitude to work, favourite child, emotionally odd - all apply. Failure to launch, launch a career post uni, assume normal levels of adulting. Did leave home to get married to someone who provided a home/life/healthy income but returned post divorce as couldn’t provide for themselves so their Ma and Pa resumed providing for them.

Never mind the rest I’d run as fast as I could.

I wouldn’t date a smoker.

There is a lot of truth in what you say. There was also a post recently about a woman (married with children) complaining about her sister not informing their mother about a pregnancy, and also other details of her (the sister's) life. The sister kept her parents and sisters in the dark about events. The OP went on to say that she never makes a decision in her life without running it past her mother, and therefore could not understand her sister.... The adult, responsible adults are not always the ones who live away from their parents.

You sound like the life and soul of the party.