Am I odd for thinking this is a mean gift

[drycleanonly]

Back story - I’ve just turned 60, he’s 69. Seen him a couple of times before but for various reasons couldn’t accept his offer to his house last night, so he came to mine. With his uninvited and unexpected (but very welcome) ageing dog.
He brought a bottle of wine, but this is where my mind is blown. He also brought a three tomatoes from an opened pack of six and a thing of mozzarella.
Call me old fashioned, but I was feeling guilty for not being able to get to Marks and get an array of olives, cheeses, nice things.
Have I lost the plot after 23 years of marriage and my first date in the five years since my divorce, or is that a red flag? I was totally dumbfounded, tbh!!!

Bringing the dog is rude and I wouldn't be happy about that
The wine cheese and mozzarella is fine. I think they were probably a contribution to the meal.

He's a pensioner perhaps a but skint, I would try harder,but I have plenty of money

In a situation like this, I’d have brought a bottle of wine to go with the meal.
Even if it was a takeaway.

3 tomatoes agd a bit of mozzarella is what I’d brought if I was going to a very good friend of mine and we had talked about preparing a meal together.
Well no actually I’d have brought more than that!
But no way That’s suitable for a second date.

You say you’ve seen him a couple of times. Later you say this is a second date. Which is it? This seems to be a casual visit and he brought some items to your home. He probably expected that you would have food to eat and would just add what he brought. Should he have brought a whole meal to your house? I sure would not have. Maybe I’d just bring a bottle of wine to add to the food you’d have at your house

Commom courtesy

That's a tiny bit different to a second date. I wouldn’t do it with my friends though, it shows you haven’t bothered. I wouldn’t even do it for my family either. It’s just basic good manners.

He did take a bottle of wine. I'm not sure what the OP was expecting. A bottle of wine and a snack is perfectly acceptable in my eyes. OP was the host and didn't provide anything at all by the sounds of it. I'd say it's the OP who needs to contribute more.

This is a second date not a friend that he’s already comfortable and relaxed with.

My friends help themselves to food and drink in my fist whilst wearing pyjamas- I wouldn’t expect the same from a man I barely know. It’s a completely different dynamic

I think at age 69 artisan is not really a way of life for our generation. He bought wine and a couple of bits to use up to avoid waste. Not a problem in my world and the dog would be so welcome too

He brought a starter and wine? It also sounds fine to me. As for the dog, perhaps you'd said you wanted to meet it? Or perhaps your date wasn't sure what time he'd be home 😉?

I'm a dog owner and I wouldn't dream of just turning up with my dog; that was presumptuous and rude. The tomatoes and mozzarella thing is odd if it wasn't discussed beforehand but it was a contribution I suppose. And he brought wine. I'm fencesitting on this one.

It was an extra, he wasn't expecting to provide dinner given he was the one who was the guest.

But what was selfish? He invited her to his, she couldn’t go and said come to mine. She had no intention of providing a meal. He arrives with a bottle of wine to share and some ingredients to rustle up a snack to go with the wine? He’d perhaps planned to serve that to her if she had come to his.

He did bring a bottle of wine, but he wasn’t asked to bring a meal, and she didn’t offer him one. Was just an ad hoc visit. And some people are calling him selfish and sayings it’s red flags because he arrived with 3 tomatos instead of 6 and didn’t have any balsamic vinegar with him? I honestly don’t get it

Did I miss the post where she said he asked her to be grateful? Or made her prepare him dinner?

But the OP had nothing in for him. Bit indecent of a host. How would the OP have felt if she had gone to his home and had nothing and what would she have taken?

This post is blowing my mind. If he arrived with a bottle of wine only he’d have been a polite house guest.

Because he also took ingredients that make a light salad, now he’s selfish, red flags, stingey, only wants things his way, too old to bring anything to the table

Sounds like he made more effort than you.

As for the tomatoes and mozzarella- very very strange!
not at all. Here on the continent it's very common. we have it all the time, exactly as @LynetteScavo describes.

I think I'm more surprised by him coming to your home on a second date than I am about the tomatoes!

Clearly he could bring a nice caprese salad to the table.

Yes I know it’s part of a starter/salad but it’s turning up on a second date with those two ingredients without any discussion I find strange.

OP asked: " Am I odd for thinking this is a mean gift"

Yes, you are odd for thinking this was a mean gift.
(Most particularly cos you invited him to yours yet cooked nothing, bought nothing & had nothing at all prepared to entertain a guest!!)

That’s… that’s not what she said.

If he wasn’t planning to have dinner there, why did he bring tomatoes and mozzarella?
That would be really weird….

It’s huge at any age, bin this one OP.