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Original poster

Am I odd for thinking this is a mean gift

260 replies

drycleanonly · 12/07/2025 09:16

Back story - I’ve just turned 60, he’s 69. Seen him a couple of times before but for various reasons couldn’t accept his offer to his house last night, so he came to mine. With his uninvited and unexpected (but very welcome) ageing dog.
He brought a bottle of wine, but this is where my mind is blown. He also brought a three tomatoes from an opened pack of six and a thing of mozzarella.
Call me old fashioned, but I was feeling guilty for not being able to get to Marks and get an array of olives, cheeses, nice things.
Have I lost the plot after 23 years of marriage and my first date in the five years since my divorce, or is that a red flag? I was totally dumbfounded, tbh!!!

OP posts:
SingleAHF · 13/07/2025 18:27

That's men for you.

SwedishEdith · 13/07/2025 18:57

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/07/2025 12:21

It's all just a bit strange ?

Met him a couple of times - so I guess the first time was the party they met at and the 2nd time was their first date ?

Why was the Op invited to his house for the 2nd date, and why for various reasons she was unable to go to his house

So the Op invites him to her house for the 2nd date - why

why did the 2nd date need to be in someone's home - you have met this person twice, did you consider safety at all ?

or was he coming round for sex, as the Op couldn't go to his for sex.

Why bring the dog ?!!!

Can the dog not be left at home alone for a couple of hours. or did he think / hope he was staying the night ? and wouldn't / couldn't leave the dog overnight.

The 2nd date could easily have been drinks in a bar / dinner in a restaurant / the cinema / 10 pin bowling etc etc etc

then it seems no one used their words - there seems to have been no discussion re dinner

tho the Op thought maybe a takeaway - but had she communicated that to him ?
or did he think he was turning up for dinner ?

or not

depending on the time of arrival maybe he had already eaten his dinner ?
tho it seems he brought the items for a starter ?

The Op says she felt bad before he arrived that she hadn't gone to M&S to get this, that and the next thing. Why not. had she said to him ' we'll have dinner at mine ' ?

Anyway she provides wine which gets drunk, and he takes his bottle home with him !

and neither will ever be seen again.

nor will the tomatoes and cheese ! which this thread was all about.

Perfect summary. All of the OP's posts are so odd and lacking in detail that it's not surprising there was a massive communication issue.

winter8090 · 13/07/2025 19:40

How many tomatoes can two of you eat?
The wine was the gift.
He should have asked re bringing the dog.

TiredMummma · 13/07/2025 22:15

Taking the wine is a bigger red flag, although I suppose if he was a dick anyway and it wasn’t going well, why not

JuliaLilian · 14/07/2025 09:39

WaitedBlankey · 12/07/2025 10:05

Press the Quote button on the bottom left of the post.

Or just press @ and select the name of who you’re replying to - @drycleanonly

Show quote history

Thank you. I’ve never worked how to reply to individual posts either!

BobShark · 14/07/2025 10:11

Wow I’m shocked at the responses here, why would he bring a gift? You invited him to your home, so are hosting. A ‘gift’ to a host is usually a bottle of wine.

tomatoes and mozzarella are a popular dish, if he is a single man living alone, likely these wouldn’t last ages in the fridge, so he thought he would bring to share with you over a glass of wine.

why would he go out and buy a whole new packet of tomatoes, would it have been better if he bought them over loose? Then you wouldn’t have known they were from a packet at all.

Rosiecidar · 14/07/2025 11:09

To be honest I think it's odd to invite someone over with no explanation for the reason... it's usually for lunch, dinner, or a meeting point before heading out.

WolfFoxHare · 14/07/2025 11:32

I've decided she invited him over for "Netflix and chill", and his performance was wanting so she's started this weird bitchy thread with the dripfeeds to try to get everyone on her side.

ThatDaringEagle · 14/07/2025 13:09

WolfFoxHare · 14/07/2025 11:32

I've decided she invited him over for "Netflix and chill", and his performance was wanting so she's started this weird bitchy thread with the dripfeeds to try to get everyone on her side.

Yup, it reeks of that tbh.

She firstly insisted that he come to hers. Then she did absolutely fup all up entertain her guest, (no shopping, no food, no communication about what she actually wanted them to do), then she gets upset with him very quickly cos he tried to 'mimick her' apparently, then she starts a thread on the internet to give out about his 'stingey' present, & to get strangers to agree with her that he's not suitable for her!!

She sounds like a 'total delight' as a date, I'd say there could be queues around the block to date her, if other suitors hear about this !? :)

I mean some guys would pay good money to get this sort of gratuitous abuse!!

ForMyBenefit · 17/07/2025 19:08

Glad you saw the light OP

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