Let me put it in simple terms with an example. Jack and Jill get married, both vowing to love and cherish each other, to have and to hold, forsaking all other etc etc.
Six months later you find out the last time they had sex was the wedding night. Nothing wrong with him, he's not abusive or selfish in bed, Jill just isn't into sex. She doesn't need it, nor does she see the need to go to a doctor or therapist. This is who she is and she doesn't need to be 'fixed'.
You would say, well her body her choice, she doesn't owe her husband any sex, and even asking for it too much makes him a sex pest.
Now imagine a different scenario where six months after the wedding Jack has sex with a coworker. No fights, no abuse, he'd been having steady sex at home, but just fancied something on the side. No issues of stds as the coworker had a clean test and they'd used condoms.
Do you now also agree his body his choice, he doesn't owe his wife anything and he can do what he wants. And of she even complains loudly or sulks she's being abusive?
I highly doubt it. We'd probably both agree that Jack was a cheating bastard. But why the double standard? You either have obligations to your spouse or you don't, but it's not a one way street.