asked me why I was playing with myself during sex!

[goodThingGonewrong]

Exactly as the title says. Dp suggested sex when we went to bed last night, when I said yes he said we couldn’t as I had my period. I told him it was finished then he said to have sex in the morning, I was a bit deflated by that. However 5 mins lasted he was guiding me to touch and go down on him. No foreplay for me so I did feel it a bit hard to get into on my side. We eventually had piv and even though I was wet, I did need some more stimulation so I started to play with my clit while he was inside me. He asked me once why I was playing with myself but I didn’t hear and he asked again. I just said because I enjoy it but recently there’s been no or little foreplay from him, I want to speak to him today, it needs to be addressed as things obviously didn’t feel right for him either.

Also so it’s not a drip feed he’s even asked me on the past to play with myself and vice versa…, it’s not a new thing. It just wasn’t in his request.

Looking for advice on how I bring this up so conversation openers and pointers would be good.

I have obviously name changed for this post:

I reported it, it was victim blaming. The message I got from MNHQ was:
"We've now deleted that post, and the person sending unsolicited DMs has since been banned."

So hopefully your inbox will remain arsehole free.

I've never been particularly fond of oral sex here's why:
Sorry to be a kill joy.
Can oral sex cause throat cancer
Yes, oral sex can increase the risk of developing throat cancer, specifically oropharyngeal cancer, due to the transmission of human papillomavirus (HPV).

Oral sex of women AND men.

If you're not giving it, you shouldn't expect to receive it.

Exactly, that's my motor me not give it so I don't expect nothing in return.

Maybe he gets throaty after and that's why he doesn't like it. It's not for everyone you can't pressure him to go down on you. Find someone who will do it.

I’m not pressuring him to go down on me. If you read upthread I’ve said I no longer enjoy it when he gives it because I know he doesn’t like it. It’s odd though …. If he really didn’t like it you’d think he’d be rushing to rinse his mouth but he never does. Anyway, I think I am allowed to say that I miss that part of my sex life, I’m not saying it to him but yes I said it on here!

The next time he pushes your head down play him this. Equal rights in the bedroom.

That would be a massive deal breaker for me. Especially if he use to do it and I certainly would not be giving out BJs. So sorry for you OP if you loved it.

Pardon me for the TMI question but since that one time that he asked you not to touch yourself - has he done that again? Have you been able to orgasm with him in any capacity?
I’m thinking was this a one time thing or is this something that is a new pattern? It sounds like it was not a problem previously.

😂😂👏

Haha, no worries @PolyCat , I’ve already given TMI in this post so your question is quite ok. Since that really odd encounter that night everything has been good, he’s put more effort into trying to please me in that department. And he hasn’t tried to stop me and he’s also spent more time giving attention there too. So there isn’t a pattern but that night just felt so u familiar and off. I think it was just that there were other aspects I wasn’t happy with like the bickering ect that I’ve said upthread. I’m not well at the moment and I appreciate he never tries it on with me when I’m sick … he always waits for me to initiate after I’ve been unwell and even then he will say are you sure you are up to it before things progress. I’m just taking things slow atm.