My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

[sad2025]

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

Thread after thread like this, awful awful men and women clinging onto them.

OP he’s not good for you, or probably anyone. Just end it.

Please dump him, OP.

A man nearing his 50s who asks a (presumably) mature adult woman what her body count is? Has he been listening to Andrew Tate? He sounds like he has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old boy.

His behaviour is controlling and that’s abusive, my dear. You’re tired of it all as you know, deep down, that it’s wrong. Please, please end this. You’ll feel a thousand times better and can rebuild your confidence. You should not be doubting yourself and left feeling anxious just because you went out for a few hours. This man does not love you in the way he should.

My ex did exactly the same. Ruined every night out. Not just on the night, in the run up to, during and after. That’s how it started, anyway.

He would try to convince me I didn’t need to attend mandatory work conferences and I should ‘just say no’. When I didn’t he’d make me feel physically ill whilst I was away with the constant questioning and monitoring.

He once went mental and ruined Christmas because I’d hired a local handyman to build furniture for my son’s room as a surprise. he said my house looked ‘like I was single’ so I was obviously trying to cheat. Still haven’t figured that one out.

He’d monitor when I was on WhatsApp so I wouldn’t open my messages after a certain time at night to avoid agro.

The night he asked me about my ‘body count’ it was finally over. I wouldn’t tell him (why should I?) and he called me a ‘slag’. Thankfully, albeit way too late, that was the last straw. I’d been with him four years too. I hope you don’t waste another four years dealing with the man child.

Text book abuse tactic. They make going out so unbearable, either with their hounding of you on the night out or the silent treatment punishment after, that with time you give up going out completely. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you told me he doesn’t like you socialising with men, although he’ll probably say that’s not because he doesn’t trust you but because he doesn’t trust other men, that he doesn’t like you wearing anything revealing and that he comments when you wear more makeup. I also wouldn’t be surprised if there are friends and family he’s encouraged you to distance yourself from because he doesn’t think they’re good for you.

GET RID!!!!!

Being alone is far better than this.

The man is literally handing you the textbook of "How to be a victim of abuse" and you are accepting it!

I was in an abusive marriage for 12 years, please please dont be me!

It's really depressing.

However, it's so easy to end up in this sitution. When I met my now ex husband he love bombed me, then two hours after our marriage ceremony he completely changed and I spent years wondering what I'd done, and trying to fix it, beore managing eventually to get out.

But the OP's posted on here now, she knows something's not right, and hopefully can now get rid of this awful man.

He has a serious problem, and you really don't want to be part of it. If he has a key to your home, I suggest you get it back or change the locks and do not have anything more to do with him. The red flags are jumping up and down.

He's a twat who's trying to condition you and control you. Get rid

He’s making you feel small and unhappy because he likes doing it and he really likes the way you behave. And it’s so easy for him to do. Blokes never stop doing something that they like doing and makes them feel good.

His one saving grace is that he doesn’t live with you. Park his toothbrush outside the front door once you have scrubbed the grouting with it and tell him to come and get it. Then change the lock.

Then plan on being happy in the sunshine. I mean that.

What a weird, gross guy.

I feel like maybe you have posted partly because you want to break up with him, and want permission? Which is understandable, in the circumstances, as it sounds like he makes a point of undermining you, and making you doubt yourself / feel like you are the problem.

In any case, definitely bin him off. Make sure you are safe when you do it. The sick and anxious feeling will melt away and it will be a blessed relief. This time tomorrow, you could be free of all this guilt and drama x

Life is too short for his manipulative and controlling mind games. I'd text him 'I'm sick of your mind games, it's immature. When you're ready to grow up, and apologise to me, then contact me. Until then, don't contact me.'

I know he will use the fact that I haven’t chased him for a response as proof I am with another man
it’s relentless
i ve reached the end of any tolerance or acceptance of his behaviour right now
he has gone to far
nothing is ever going to change, he isn’t kind enough to me either
he normally has acted up whenever I have been away with work as well

As everyone has said, this isn't remotely normal or acceptable.

Please get rid!!!

he is always telling me he knows I have another boyfriend

Well,that right there. If you don't, you have a bf problem, If you do...

So what are you going to do to get rid of him?

Are you anxious about dumping him because you think he won't go quietly?

No he would just go and sulk I think
I guess I am worried about being on my own and being lonely even though I have a busy life without him and a dog

He sounds awful.

Thank your lucky stars that you’re not legally entangled with him in anyway and get him the hell out of your life.

Box up any stuff, text to tell him it’s over and where he can collect his stuff from (e.g. back garden, shed, etc) with a deadline for collecting it, and block him.

If there’s nowhere you can leave it, make sure to have someone with you when he collects. Make sure to get your keys back.

No man is worth impacting your mental health for, and certainly not one you can so easily remove from your life.

Surely being single has to be better than this ?

I'd rather be on my own than with someone who basically sulks if I go out.

His behaviour is not acceptable. It’s is mental torture.

bin him off

you'd rather this than be a bit lonely?

Honestly I'd ask him why, if I had another man, I'd put up with him and his moods.

You are on your own though! 2 days so far of silent treatment and how many more before that where you felt alone? Sometimes it's lonelier inside a bad relationship than as a single person.
Please get rid of him ASAP, his behaviour is worrying x