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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

494 replies

sad2025 · 26/06/2025 22:57

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Hiiiti · 30/06/2025 16:48

sad2025 · 26/06/2025 23:23

I don’t live with him thankfully, I feel too worn down to be angry and I am still wondering what I have done wrong
but I knew before I went it would probably be problematic even though he said he didn’t mind but he was only there to walk the dog otherwise he wouldn’t have come over
I was back by 1120
I have been with him nearly four years

Honestly get rid. Not worth it.

jannier · 30/06/2025 16:53

sad2025 · 26/06/2025 23:18

I really don’t know what I have done, but he has totally refused to speak to be for two days
This man is rapidly approaching 50 as well
I guess I am just trying to unpick my feelings around this as I feel sick and anxious at the moment

Bye......now you know why at 50 hes on his own.

woollybean · 30/06/2025 16:57

T1Dmama · 30/06/2025 16:45

OP has already said the dog’s ownership has already transferred to her - chip in her name, registered at vets in her name etc.

Show quote history

Won’t stop him trying to take her if he wants to hurt her.

ManifestingMagic · 30/06/2025 20:32

I know you have heard this from others OP but you deserve so much better.

Take it from someone who has put up with controlling and abusive behaviour in the past - he will always be like this and its just not worth it

Hotflushesandchilblains · 30/06/2025 20:39

everyone trauma dumping their own misandry around how men are evil

Yep, here we go. NAMALT. That may be true - but too many men ARE like that. OP, ignore the people who just want to be contrary. Keep your dog safe - abusing or removing pets is a well known way for abusers to abuse - I have one snoring on the sofa next to me now, fortunately the police, when responding to the DA call saw what a state the dog was in, and removed her as well as the perpetrator.

Jujujudo · 30/06/2025 20:41

If your partner reacts to whatever by ignoring you, then he’s a twat and you need to get rid ASAP. Either he can be an adult and discuss an issue with you, or he can be passive aggressive and abusive and ignore you. Fkn twat.

pollymere · 30/06/2025 23:22

My DH was originally just a good friend. One night when we were tipsy we re-enacted that bit from Four Weddings where she goes through the men she's been with...

Which means my husband knows my "body count" and always has.

Anyone who wants to know like your B is a serious red flag. My ex used to say I'd kissed enough men for a football team (note...kissed). It just became exhausting dealing with his insecurities that I'd kissed other guys. Your B should care he's your last and nothing else. He's being a jerk. And if he won't tell you what offence you apparently committed on Tuesday then he's being an even bigger jerk than usual.

(Edited because it put reduction flag!)

HardyCrow · 01/07/2025 00:43

excelledyourself · 27/06/2025 00:47

He sounds awful.

Thank your lucky stars that you’re not legally entangled with him in anyway and get him the hell out of your life.

Box up any stuff, text to tell him it’s over and where he can collect his stuff from (e.g. back garden, shed, etc) with a deadline for collecting it, and block him.

If there’s nowhere you can leave it, make sure to have someone with you when he collects. Make sure to get your keys back.

No man is worth impacting your mental health for, and certainly not one you can so easily remove from your life.

Edited

I wouldn’t let him back in the house or hand his stuff over in person. Men like this are unpredictable when you say no to them. Also change your locks don’t faff around getting his key back - he’ll use it to try and humiliate you and may make a copy. Good luck - and yes do leave him - being your own person free to do as you like is a great feeling. Go out and enjoy your self. You won’t miss him.

RosyDaysAhead · 01/07/2025 21:11

That relationship has so many red flags I’m surprised the life guards haven’t blown their whistles!

if he doesn’t trust you and is convinced you have another boyfriend and doesn’t like you going out after 4 years it isn’t going anywhere. Grab a life vest and move on!

DianeDiddly · 02/07/2025 12:06

Tell him to grow up. If not, he'll only get worse - shift him.

Fizzypop88 · 13/12/2025 08:11

You are crying out for permission to leave him.
here is that permission
please leave him, he’s an abusive prick. I promise being alone is 1000 x better. And you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Don’t waste anymore time on him.

cloudyblueglass · 13/12/2025 09:00

Hey op - just dropping in to say I hope you’ve managed to escape and you’re building a lovely life for yourself away from him

Meteorite87 · 13/12/2025 09:40

sad2025 · 26/06/2025 23:18

I really don’t know what I have done, but he has totally refused to speak to be for two days
This man is rapidly approaching 50 as well
I guess I am just trying to unpick my feelings around this as I feel sick and anxious at the moment

@sad2025
I've just read this thread after your one about how he is irrational to the point of abusive to you because you won't tell him your "body count".

You deserve so much better than this.

Surely, you would have more peace of mind choosing to be alone?

I hope you put yourself first very soon.

RetirementIsGreat · 13/12/2025 15:45

Updateme

cloudyblueglass · 13/12/2025 23:26

Meteorite87 · 13/12/2025 09:40

@sad2025
I've just read this thread after your one about how he is irrational to the point of abusive to you because you won't tell him your "body count".

You deserve so much better than this.

Surely, you would have more peace of mind choosing to be alone?

I hope you put yourself first very soon.

Show quote history

Didnt realise this was the body count man too - it just adds another layer of ‘abusive cunt’

itsnotalwaysthateasy · 14/12/2025 00:00

Go home and hope he never contacts you again.
This man is controlling and very insecure.
Certainly NEVER have children with him if you decide to ignore our advice.

Pryceosh1987 · 14/12/2025 02:30

He must be accusing you of cheating on him.

Meteorite87 · 14/12/2025 08:40

cloudyblueglass · 13/12/2025 23:26

Didnt realise this was the body count man too - it just adds another layer of ‘abusive cunt’

Show quote history

Yes and there's 6 months between this older post and the current "body count" one.

You are absolutely right. What a miserable and unsafe existence for OP.

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