My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

[sad2025]

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

He’s insecure and thinks you’re flirting with other men. My dad is the same with my mum. I would be having it out with him, silent treatment is childish. Then telling him to bugger off.

I realise I am pathetic enough tolerating this shit from him previously but I haven’t yet sunk to the point of inventing things to discuss on a chat forum

Controlling behaviour.. ditch the knob.
And tell him if he has a problem to man up and say what it is.

This is a red flag, please don't ignore it.
If there's an issue, you should both discuss it and agree a way to address it.
Ignoring you because he's upset that you went out without him could be an indication of a controlling personality.

Every day men talked about on here hit a new low.
Tell him your body count is 259 or something then block and dump him. What a controlling loser.

He won’t communicate what you have supposedly because you haven’t done anything. He doesn’t want you to go out so he’s punishing you for it. He wants to keep you in a state of confusion and guilt as a means of control. His behaviour is emotionally abusive.

Have a look at this:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/children-and-young-people/expect-respect/reach-respect/

👇

How the fuck do you know that? If you don't believe OP is a genuine poster, report this to Mumsnet rather than trying to derail the thread.

Most of us can see that OP is a people pleaser who has put up with absolute shit in her relationships but hopefully has now seen her partner for the abusive twat he is.

OP - did you send Mr Twatface this text? If not, why not? It would help us to help you if we understood your reluctance to end this toxic relationship.

This.
You say you are normally outgoing and confident enough. You enjoy other people's company. You now have a dog that you clearly love. You really do t need someone like him in your life. Break free and go out as much as you like, with whomever you like, and get as drunk as you like! I bet you will make lots of new friends

Don’t waste your life second guessing someone is isn’t adult enough to own their own feelings and just straightforwardly tell you what, if anything, they are upset about.

just don’t.

Don't reward his immature sulking, just get rid Orvis this really how you want the rest of your life to be? There are way better people out there for you.

Oh god, this old chestnut. OP, stop racking your brain, he just hates the idea of you being out, drinking and maybe even talking to other men. Do yourself a massive favour and change the course of your life. Tell him to stop this sulky shite when you go out, or ship out. Go on, I dare you.

It’s brilliant that you don’t live with him @sad2025 as it will be easier to leave him.

I hate that it’s on his terms… he sulks/ignores you but now wants contact 😞

This is coercive control. You're in bits wondering what you've done wrong. He has you where he wants you. Don't let him control you. Please realise he's not good enough for you. Finish with him.

OP. I am in a very similar situation to you, having a very small family and no children. I make the most of my lovely friends instead. Your life doesn't have to be lonely. Once you have dumped him you will have the chance to go out and make loads of new friends.

You say you works be lonely without him but he’s the one making you lonely by isolating you and acting like a complete twat every time you go out without him. He’s trained you to not do anything without him otherwise face his wrath - without him acting like a mood hoover, you could be out making friends, having fun, having a drink without fear

@Justaspy . Are you the OPs boyfriend?

People nagging at the OP re 'there must be more to this story', maybe just back off?

Ditto sharing her other thread on here. There's no need for that.

This OP stands up on its own. Hes a controlling bully and you need to dump him OP.

You’re being controlled and manipulated…. You dared to go out!!…. He doesn’t like that you went out …. he’s now ignoring you and keeping you guessing as a way of torture… and you couldn’t sleep so it worked!
This is just the start… no
doubt he love bombed you at the start… is now trying to stop you going out and to isolate you… no doubt under the ruse of ‘loving you soooo much!’

You are scared of being alone because HE has isolated you.
Get rid of this ball and chain of a relationship/man…. And get out there and join fitness clubs or whatever you like to do - or used to like doing before he stopped you!…. Get out and socialise with work colleagues, have fun being single…. Honestly being alone and on your own is better than being in a relationship and kept lonely!!

Surely he’s an ex?

Has he been intouch today op, hope you take on board some of the advice here moving forwards,

I think after 4 years you have to actually tell him you're ending the relationship. Not that I think he deserves it, actually, but at least then you can block and move on.

I would be texting him saying you can no longer tolerate his behaviour, that his reaction to you socialising and not trusting you is no longer tolerable and for that reason it’s over. Your clothes and belongings will be boxed up and left on the doorstep at x time on x date.
If he has a key to your house, get the locks changed ASAP… maybe even before dumping him!

@sad2025 years ago my husband used to be like this - insist he didn’t mind me going out, then I’d get a call about something meaningless and I’d hear the sarcasm in the voice asking “are you having a good time” or the “ I’ll let you go, you’re obviously busy”!
We were young though and have been married over thirty years now - I, like you would get anxious or not go etc - THEN I literally had enough and stopped pandering to him and got the attitude of “if you don’t like it, tough”! Eventually he got over it and I guess we grew up. What I’m trying to say though is, you’re not teenagers, he’s acting not only controlling but extremely immature!
Maybe when you do talk you should simply say “aren’t we past all the immature stuff” and “you obviously don’t trust me so maybe we should call it quits”!
put it back on him, and you stand tall with your head held high. It sounds like you’re done and no one could blame you. If my hubby started this now I’d tell him to bog off but truth is he likes a peaceful evening from time to time 🙄😂
Good luck op - and I love the sound of all your doggy activities ❤️