My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

[sad2025]

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

Oh just bin him. Seriously.

Get rid.

@sad2025 If you're "confident and assertive normally" OP, why aren't you with him? I'm confident and assertive and I would never - and I mean NEVER - allow a man to treat me this way. It's just inexplicable to me that any woman with a decent level of self-esteem would allow an arsehole like this to be in their lives. Why do you?

Get rid

Please do go somewhere else. He sounds a pig.

OP these years that you're spending with him, they're not coming around again, once they're gone, they're gone. Don't waste any more of your life pandering to a shit man who makes you miserable on purpose.

What is it with all these men who think it's remotely appropriate or adult to sulk? Real men grow out of it around the age of 13.

If you stay with this idiot you will end up eith no friends, no family, no social life, quivering with worry at his every mood and he will be in total control. You shouldn't have to make a mumsnet thread and post the replies you have because you went on a simple evening out and got pleasantly merry, even if you'd come home stone cold sober he'd have an issue by the sounds of it.

And asking for your body count is such a vile thing some men need to do seemingly, insecure ones. As if every sexual encounter is somehow burned onto a woman and is something they somehow physically carry into the next relationship. I really hope today has helped you see that he's controlling and potentially worse as time goes on and you think seriously if you want this to be your future.

Also, good times being "okay" is just such a sad sentence :( you deserve better, and better from this is alone actually. Then time to find a more worthy partner. Four years is more than enough time to sink on him, dont let another four pass you by being less than happy op :( a proper partner celebrates with you, commiserate with you, wants you to go out and be yourself and be independent and come home and tell them all about it, as you going out enjoying yourself hasn't somehow diminished him.

Yes, please change your locks today!

He sounds awful! I don’t usually say this but end this relationship - it’s adding nothing positive to your life

@sad2025 being on your own and happy is better than being with this immature, controlling idiot. Please get rid of him. You deserve better. You should never feel anxious just because you are going out without him!

Bloody hell… I stopped reading when you revealed that he’s fast approaching fifty! And acting like this?! I had relationships like this in my late teens! Just in my fifties, partner a couple of years older… couldn’t give a rats arse when we go out and see it as an opportunity to chill out alone at home! Sorry if I’ve missed this, but how old are you? Sack him off and enjoy your weekday nights out x

He's an abusive prick.

Throw this scum back in the pond

Some of us don't put up with them, but there are far too many that do.

OP - no judgement, I know how hard it can be to leave/end a relationship , but this a little reminder of your post on 1 May on that other thread - "I have told him I need some space just to give myself time to catch my breath and have a chance to reflect on how I have ended up here again".

You have ended up there again. This man is not good for you and doesn't bring anything to your life.

I really hope you can find the strength to block him and leave him. If he has keys get them back, or change the locks.

Keep posting for support and remember people are saying this for your own good , some of them have been there.

Unfortunately I don't see any resolve from @sad2025 to end this and move on. Looking at her past threads she's been dealing with shitty behaviour from him for a while now and still somehow finds a way to remain in the relationship for fear of being alone.

Even now she's saying some of the right things by recognizing that this isn't right, but is still avoiding making a clear decisive decision to end it. I wouldn't be surprised if we see another thread from OP in a few weeks about something else he has done while she continues to see if she can change him or is scared to be alone.

I wish her all the best and I hope she is able to walk away.

Please don't make it five

Is he older than you? It sounds like it.
Sulking, ignoring and controlling.
What's there to like?

Your boyfriend sounds like a joy vampire, my ex-husband was the same.

I was with my ex-husband 10 years, I look back on that time and think of all the fun I missed out on. After we split up I had a fantastic social life, friends and a lot of fun.
Please OP don't make the same mistake.

OP.
Your previous post in May was already concerning
You said you would wake up and find him standing inthe lounge looking (sourly) at the mess and then he;d get angry because you screamed in shock.

For gods sake. Keep the dog. Dump the unless nasty man,.
Change the locks... do it this weekend.
He sounds unhinged and you don't seem to realise how much resentment he has been building up.. the sulking and nastyness has been ongoing.
Stop putting up with this.
No wonder you don't have the mind space to clear up.. this anxiety is eating you up.
You can choose not to subject yourself to this any more. Ever Again.

As @PeggyMitchellsCameo said even his dog is scared of him. That's a huge red flag.

You can work on your other issues.. one by one once you've got this person who is treating you so badly out of your life.

Your keys and car.. you can get apple style tags from Amazon quite cheaply. Put one on the dog too. And then you can find them at any time.

I have a keybowl near the front door and put everything in there as soon as I walk in, or fill it the night before. Problem solved.

Clear your stuff bit by bit.. set a timer for 15 minutes to empty the bins or clear the sink... You will soon find things look better.

I completely agree with you. After divorcing a somewhat controlling, moody sulker I never wanted anything but the peace of single life! Life is much more enjoyable not having to wonder what you’ve done to make your partner angry.

this is how my ex was, silent treatment of i went out, he made it so bad that i ended up not going out at all. he’s trying to control you so you stay at home like the good little girlfriend. don’t fall for his games.

Come on, OP. Why on earth are accepting this as your lot?

As I said to another poster yesterday, abuse isn’t better than loneliness.

Totally agree I still think the OP is in denial about how abusive he is and is in the headspace where she thinks she can talk to him, tell him what he’s doing wrong and he’ll suddenly ‘yes you’re right I am a twat’ and it will all be ok

Sadly there’s so many women who think being with any old wanker is better than being single.

I do hope the OP wakes up and smells the coffee - this man is vile and offers nothing but a life of treading on eggshells.

This is her second thread where the responses were unanimous but she chooses to ignore the fantastic advice from experienced women. Please OP, re read the responses and realise what you need to do.

OP, I remember your other thread well. PLEASE PLEASE dump this man. He says he"knows you have another boyfriend". If he genuinely thinks that why doesn't he end your relationship as most people would do in that situation .He doesn't, because he knows you are not cheating on him, he just wants to mess with your head. Men like this really hate women, especially those who they see as independent and happy. They feel they have to 'bring them to heel' and teach them a lesson. I bet you were independent and happy and had a great social life with lots of friends before he came along. You are worth so much more than this and there is someone much better out there for you. Have you considered doing the Freedom Programme. Next time he moans about the state of your flat, tell him if he doesn't like it, he can do one. My fear for you is that eventually he might turn violent on you. It might be worth doing a Clare's law check on him as well.

It's difficult to leave someone or even see clearly how bad the other person's behaviour is when you are in an abusive relationship. OP I hope you will get there eventually and don't feel too judged