My boyfriend isn’t talking to me after a night out

[sad2025]

I don’t often go out late in the evenings but I had a work invitation to go to a really nice event, as there were free drinks there I had a few but by no means was I drunk
My partner collected me from the station and stayed the night but has been ignoring ever since
I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep
The only thing he has said to me is I should know why because of Tuesday night

You’ve posted about this idiot before, haven’t you? I remember the dog situation.

You had loads of excellent advice last time and seemed ready to end things. What happened?

No no no.

The moment my ex girlfriend accused me of seeing someone else I was out the door

He doesn’t need to hear this or anything other than ‘fuck off’

Absolutely!

How much "headspace" do you think he's giving all of this?

This manchild is controlling and jealous and sounds like an utterly pathetic excuse of a man.

If I were you, I'd either just block his number and change the locks to your home, or send a text first, "Martin, I'm calling time on this relationship, it's over, please do not contact me again". Then block and change locks.

He honestly isn't worthy of a lengthy nice message to end it, he treats you like crap. He can get lost.

The fact I'm getting older, teamed with my natural tendency not to take any bullshit means my fuse is getting shorter and shorter. I'd just wouldn't stand for this crap. OP, you have done NOTHING wrong. Nothing wrong whatsoever. You don't need to second-guess yourself and tie yourself in knots, solving this asshole's sulking.

You had a night out. Being drunk or not drunk is not an issue. You're 'allowed' to have a party, 'allowed' to get drunk if you want to, you're your own person, an adult. He's not your owner or your father, he doesn't get a say. Provided you haven't done anything really awful (and you didn't).

I'd tell him to fuck off and piss off out of my life. Not eloquent, but to the point. Just couldn't be doing with his pathetic teenage drama. Do that, and live your best life.

Seriously, change your locks, bag his stuff up, send him a note and be done. Honestly, your are worth more than this controlling bullshit. Hold your value and stop measuring it by someone else’s be benchmark. Your life will be richer and happier with just your dog and you.

Does he have any endearing traits or is he 100% a pathetic excuse for a person?

Why are you with him?

Kindly, it isn't what you need to hear. This isn't a case of you being reassured by MN that you're "allowed" to go out, so you can tell him not to be mean. I actually don't think the poster who suggested the message, had read all of your posts - probably just the first one.

You are in an abusive relationship, with a thoroughly unpleasant man. You won't change him (at almost 50!). Sending a message about his behaviour, will not fix the problem, it will only prolong it.

This.

He’s jealous. Ignore him!

Have you posted before about your relationship and his moaning about how untidy your flat was?!
Because that poster had a dog that was her partners and he had basically not looked after it so she had taken on its care.
On that thread everyone said it was an unhealthy relationship and to get rid of him. Apologies if you aren’t the same person but if you are, you really need to get rid of him.

Please get away, this is how my ex started. After 23 years it was grim, I got away, I now live a happy life, I have friends, I go out without the fear of what I’m coming home to.
If you stay it gets worse. According to him I have slept with every supermarket manager in the county to ensure I get bargains. I withheld money (he spent it and then accused me of hiding it). He used to check my hair wasn’t matted and the year or so before he was arrested, if I’d been out he would check my knickers when I got home. Please change your locks and stay away from him.

Honestly Op, I get my daily “thank God I’m single” moment from Mumsnet most days and this is Friday’s offering!!

just tell him to sod off now, being single is much, much easier than this shit and who knows you might meet somebody better.

Get rid of him!!! He’s a controlling bellend

Agree with you. Happily single but every time I feel a pang of maybe it would be nice to meet someone, I read MN and it passes very quickly

I am racking my brains to think of what I could have done because now I feel stressed and anxious and cannot sleep..

Just forget about it. If it's important, he'll find the words to tell you. Your conscience is clear, so make it his problem, not yours. In the meantime, tell him to go home if he can't be civil to you.

It's also worth considering if this may be a form of abuse one his part. "The silent treatment" usually is as it's designed not just to punish you for doing something he doesn't like, but over time to make you afraid to do the things you want in case it sets him off.

Oh op you know this isn't on.
You know you need to leave him. You know he's giving you the silent treatment because he doesn't want you going out and having fun. He wants to make it so awful that you consider not doing it any more. He's an insecure controlling piece of shit and you need to break up with him. Why on earth are you settling for this?

Any idea what the thread was called? The OP only has one thread under this name.

have you posted about this bloke before? Just something familiar about the dog.... I think last time it was pretty unanimous that you needed to bin him off, so Im hoping you are really ready to do so.

I cant remember, but I think he kept letting himself in and then moaning about the mess. That OP had ADHD or ASD if I recall and although it was a bit cluttered, it wasnt dirty.
If its not same OP then sorry, but it sounds as if there are a number of these blokes out there.

I was going to suggest that coming to collect you, although framed as being nice, is not. Its a method of control./ so he can check you are not leaving with someone else, and he has delivered you home. And then, in this case, decided to punish you to boot.
nasty and controlling

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/chat/5326480-overwhelmed-and-my-boyfriend-keeps-letting-himself-into-my-home-and-finding-it-in-a-mess

Think this a previous, similar thread?
To the OP I say this with a kind heart, you are clearly struggling in lots of ways and if you aren’t prepared to show this man the door, you are just prolonging your own suffering.
You have so much going for you, and this man adds nothing to your life.

Hope you have a wonderful future with DDog free from this prick 🙏🙏😅😅

FFS - I am sick of reading posts by women with abusive men who are "scared of being alone". Being alone and possibly lonely for a while is much better than tiptoeing around an abusive partner who chips away at your soul and self esteem. Why are so many people scared of it?

I’m afraid not. I just remember the dog arrangement really clearly. Either OP was posting under a different name or there are two of these abusive idiots who have each foisted their dogs onto their partners, who have fallen in love with the dogs, effectively have ownership of them, and are only with said abusive idiot because they’re scared of being alone.

That’s the one!