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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He's left me.

316 replies

BookishBabe · 24/06/2025 23:46

16 years together, married for 12, 2 disabled DS.
I've never felt so alone, or not good enough, or not worthy. I am absolutely broken, I begged him to stay and try harder, but he left.
I can't sleep, where do I go from here?

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 03/07/2025 12:26

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 05:12

I keep thinking about one of the worst mumsnet i ever read. To me its stuck with me for 5+ years.

A man left his wife for an OW from the school run.
He quit his job, moved in with her and started being a stay at home dad to her kids. This was to avoid chid maintenance.
He cut his own children off instantly, they'd see him doing the school run for the other kid and be like "Daddy!!! Hello Daddy!!!" and he'd just put his head down and ignore them.
Then there was a father's day celebration at the school, and he attending and his new step kids sang his praise. And his actual kids just sad and cried while he ignored them.

I talked about this story of someone else's life regularly, because it absolutely broke my heart whenever i thought about it. He always agreed it was horrendous.

He is a liar and has only situational moral thinking. He is, and was, a chameleon who takes on the coloring necessary to get sex snd attention from a specific woman during a specific time of the relationship. He can no more be faithful to an expressed value than he can be to people in general, or to you.

Notrees · 03/07/2025 12:32

He trying to make you feel unreasonable.

He's doing that so that he can pretend to himself that he was absolutely right to get out when he did and/or to mess you around and leave you confused. He wants to see you as the bad guy, and for others to think it too. Having you confused and trying to placate him for the sake of the kids means he's more likely to have things the way he wants as your head is all over the place trying to sort and figure things out. I imagine that the OW hanging about and texting from her phone is part of it too.

But the important thing to realise is that he is putting effort into making you feel that way. You are not being unreasonable. This isn't on you. He's being awful.

I'd do as others suggested and communicate via a parent app. Can he visit the kids at his mum's?

The more contact you have with him the more upset and muddled you'll feel. Moving passed the relationship will be much harder.

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 12:36

He's essentially said that he will only have them if it's with her, at a soft play or somewhere.
My work have said if I don't come in next week I've lost my job (I work Saturdays).
So my choices are, lose my job, one of the only things I'm proud of, or let him go to soft play with OW and the boys.
And I want to keep my job, and I know theyre not in danger, and I have no one else to help, and soft play is at least neutral. They do already know her as their dad's friend from the school.
Hes trying to get his way, and I want the boys to see him, and I want to keep my job, but I wanted a bit more space than this.

OP posts:
Notrees · 03/07/2025 12:43

I'm so sorry @BookishBabe that's so tough. It's amazing how it's like a switch has been flipped and they are suddenly a complete stranger. It does sound like he's going to force them to have contact with OW regardless. I wish I could offer something more useful.

Julietta05 · 03/07/2025 12:44

I think I would ask why does he need there? To wipe his nose or his bum? It is time to bond with his kids and the ow is a hindrance in this case. Tell him that, tell him how difficult it is for the kids, how much has changed and just having other women with his dad is unnecessary and confusing and maybe he should have thought more about kids not himself. Text him that.
Start thinking about legal aid, mediation to establish boundaries and rules re child contact. YOU ARE RIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED! YOU START PUTTING BOUNDARIES ON!

Julietta05 · 03/07/2025 12:48

Just to add- explain at work your situation. You don't need to mention that he wants to take kids with OW etc etc. Just say that he left and you are stuck. Ask for temporary adjustment, mention how hard you worked for however long, it is exceptional circumstances.

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 12:49

I'm worried about them playing happy families, but also think maybe 2 disruptive boys might sour the romance 🤣
But on a serious note, I need my job, its the only thing I have that isn't wife or Moma.
From the few things he said today, hes manipulating me and OW.
Sounds like hes done that whole "i just didnt realise i didn't love her, and we hadnt slept together in years" bullshit.
I'm pretty sure he loved me, and even if that was a lie, (tmi) you can't fake a hard dick when I undress. Every. Single. Time. I undressed. His favourite thing about me was always my body. We've slept together and messed around pretty much every single day for our whole 16 years together, he definitely still fancies me.
Does it matter? I don't know. But if hes told her otherwise, it's a lie.

OP posts:
Outofthemoonlight · 03/07/2025 12:53

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 12:20

I think I'm likely to be manipulated and I don't know how to do anything differently to how I've always done it.
He makes me think I'm being unreasonable, and I'm still just trying to make life happy and easy for everyone else.

Edited

Read Chumplady…… please do

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 12:57

Julietta05 · 03/07/2025 12:44

I think I would ask why does he need there? To wipe his nose or his bum? It is time to bond with his kids and the ow is a hindrance in this case. Tell him that, tell him how difficult it is for the kids, how much has changed and just having other women with his dad is unnecessary and confusing and maybe he should have thought more about kids not himself. Text him that.
Start thinking about legal aid, mediation to establish boundaries and rules re child contact. YOU ARE RIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED! YOU START PUTTING BOUNDARIES ON!

He basically said that she won't let him out her sight.
I said "you spend every second of the day together" and he replied "and its still not enough for her".

I think shes scared really.
And she should be.
He left me like I was nothing, and I'm fucking amazing.

OP posts:
FairyMaclary · 03/07/2025 13:00

There’s a book called ‘love yourself like your life depends on it’ by Ravikant. You may find the exercises odd but they require no thought or concentration, just follow the instructions and put reminders on your phone to do them regularly.

Refusing to have the children unless it’s exactly his way is also not thinking of his kids. He would prefer not to see them then see them alone. The way he refused to see them, unless it’s on his terms, is showing he is prepared to leave them. Or at least use them to get his way.

Maybe they would prefer to sit and watch a film with hugs rather than noisy soft play with a new woman after their home life has suddenly changed. Maybe they need one on one. Maybe a quite playpark or a walk in the country would suit their mood better. What about what they want?

I could never leave a spouse this way as my children come first. Assuming no violence he he has waited for another bed to slip into rather than leave with dignity.

If the relationship was an issue he could have suggested 1) counselling
2) talking and a separation without another party involved.

Theres a chance he’ll start messing around with your feelings and head, it’s very common. Read chump lady and the surviving infidelity forum.
Also ‘not just friends’ by Glass (a book).

It wasn’t you that caused this. It’s him. You were in the same marriage. To cheat you betray yourself first.

Build a world for yourself op. What do you enjoy? Music? Books? Films? Sport? What are your values? Write them down and live by them every single day. And keep a journal about this. Mediation and yoga. Weights at Home. 10k steps. Build a daily routine and force yourself to do it. Talk to everyone. Build your world. If you start today you will feel better. It will take months but you’ll get there.

FairyMaclary · 03/07/2025 13:01

She won’t let him out of her sight as he’s a known cheat. He’s not a catch - you are.

Julietta05 · 03/07/2025 13:02

But this is not you problem that she won't let him? Is he her child or a puppy? You tell him that you are not responsible for his relationship with that women but he is responsible for maintaining a healthy relationship with his children and meeting their needs. She is a grown up women, if she feels insecure it is her problem not yours and not your children's. Make this point.

alcoholnightmare · 03/07/2025 13:04

Soooo she loves him so much and thinks he’s soooo amazing… Yet cant let him have time with his children without her?
yeah, this isn’t going to last!

As excruciatingly painful as this is, you have to keep your job for now, so I’d let the soft play happen - but start looking for a new one as they don’t sound very helpful!

alcoholnightmare · 03/07/2025 13:05

Sorry - but she’s a fucking nutter.

Codlingmoths · 03/07/2025 13:07

Just remind him as he hands them over ‘just remember this is what you always called being a shit parent who couldn’t put his kids first. I used to be proud our kids have two great parents who love them more than anything, and now I have to be proud they have me, and sorry they get a shit dad’

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 13:11

Codlingmoths · 03/07/2025 13:07

Just remind him as he hands them over ‘just remember this is what you always called being a shit parent who couldn’t put his kids first. I used to be proud our kids have two great parents who love them more than anything, and now I have to be proud they have me, and sorry they get a shit dad’

It's pretty much what I have said, and hes just like "I'm making a selfish life for myself because I'm a selfish prick, but I still want my kids".

That's it really.

OP posts:
BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 13:12

I haven't spent all day sweating my arse off decluttering and tidying the living room.
I hope when the boys come home theyre excited and not confused.
But it's needed it for a while and its felt good to really deep clean it.
More room for my hobbies too.

OP posts:
Sodthesystem · 03/07/2025 13:12

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 12:36

He's essentially said that he will only have them if it's with her, at a soft play or somewhere.
My work have said if I don't come in next week I've lost my job (I work Saturdays).
So my choices are, lose my job, one of the only things I'm proud of, or let him go to soft play with OW and the boys.
And I want to keep my job, and I know theyre not in danger, and I have no one else to help, and soft play is at least neutral. They do already know her as their dad's friend from the school.
Hes trying to get his way, and I want the boys to see him, and I want to keep my job, but I wanted a bit more space than this.

So either he's trying to get out of childcare or he wants to play happy families with her. Probably to help him with the narrative he's spun about you in some way.

You say she messaged you? What was that about? I'd be inclined to text her back 'Hello, so John is saying he only wants to have the children with you there. Maybe you're up for the job of babysitter now too. I'll trust his judgement in you as a suitable person to be around them. He doesn't get to shirk his responsibility to have his kids. So they're coming to you both on saturday so I can work. Heads up'.

I know it sounds counterintuitive but if you can keep your relationship with her civil it may help you in future. When he starts to fuck up, she'll think back to how he treated you and realise what a cunt she's been.

Alternatively, can his mum take the children?

Don't risk your job whatever you do.

User37482 · 03/07/2025 13:12

Let it go, given she was standing outside your house she’s determined to be involved, so be it. You can’t afford to lose your job and it’s still time with their dad even though it’s less than ideal.

Honestly it sounds like she’s worried he’s going to leave if she doesn’t watch him. Pitiful.

alcoholnightmare · 03/07/2025 13:13

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 13:11

It's pretty much what I have said, and hes just like "I'm making a selfish life for myself because I'm a selfish prick, but I still want my kids".

That's it really.

So he’s happy to make his kids be part of his selfish existence. He gets worse and worse by the DAY!

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 13:15

User37482 · 03/07/2025 13:12

Let it go, given she was standing outside your house she’s determined to be involved, so be it. You can’t afford to lose your job and it’s still time with their dad even though it’s less than ideal.

Honestly it sounds like she’s worried he’s going to leave if she doesn’t watch him. Pitiful.

Thank you.
I think i needed to hear this.
I don't want to do the wrong thing by them, but I feel it's a losing battle.

I feel she must have saw our beautiful life and wanted it, and so I was determined not to let the kids be involved yet.
I know hes taking advantage because I love my job. But I really do need to keep it for ME reasons.

OP posts:
BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 13:16

He said he wouldn't talk about my appearance because he's with OW now, but I should know how much he loves my body.
And made a dildo joke. So . . . . . She probably should be a little worried.
Except I wouldn't touch him now.

OP posts:
alcoholnightmare · 03/07/2025 13:17

BookishBabe · 03/07/2025 13:16

He said he wouldn't talk about my appearance because he's with OW now, but I should know how much he loves my body.
And made a dildo joke. So . . . . . She probably should be a little worried.
Except I wouldn't touch him now.

Edited

RECORD HIM AND SEND TO HER next time.

wont be the only time he says things like that

chaosmaker · 03/07/2025 13:20

Can you get a babysitter for Saturday when you are in work?

Lurkingandlearning · 03/07/2025 13:20

BookishBabe · 01/07/2025 06:34

Thank you. I am definitely going to concentrate on me. I'm just so scared about what the future looks like.

And, after sitting up most the night, I now realise I feel like a failure. I'm embarrassed that my marriage failed. And I have it in my head that when I said "my husband left me for another woman" the person is going to look me up and down and think "I'm not surprised".

I've just read all your posts. They made me well up. Not so much because of what has happened as bad as that is, more because how amazing you are. You are so smart and kind and strong. It would be a special kind of moron who would be unsurprised by what your husband has done. You have no reason to feel ashamed. All the shame belongs to him and for all his bravado now, at some point he will own it. He is already beginning to, which is why he's being nasty. He is deflecting. That is what some men do when they drop a bomb on the person who loves them most.

You will get through this. You already are. But at some point the pain will ease and the future won't look scary. And, I think, you will find yourself being more amazing than you already are.

Allowing the OW to text you was contemptible. Maybe, for now, you should insist that he only contacts you by email. I would be inclined to speak to his mother again and tell her he did that. If she is going to remain in your children's lives, why shouldn't she know how difficult he is making it to co-parent. It would be good for him to know that people he is close to are aware of how he is behaving.

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