Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

[sunshineandroses25]

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

No way. dump him.

Absolutely no way would I tolerate this.
But why weren’t you exclusive after 3 months?
Basically someone you’re dating, who could be seeing other people, has made a dig at something you’re already uncomfortable about? Block him now.

Dating 3 months 😮and he says that. Run for the hills.
I’ve been married for yonks and we’ve had some harsh words but never that!!!

I was with my DH for nearly 3 decades. There were times that I was fat, and probably times when I acted like a cunt.
My DH never called me a fat cunt.
Three months and not exclusive? He’s done you a favour. Throw this one back. You deserve better.

He’s shown his true colours early, that’s good of him, it means you don’t need to waste any more time on this inadequate specimen. You’d be a fool to continue this relationship, hard though it may be to break it off, given your feelings. It would not be a one off and it certainly won’t get better.

There is no excuse for that, stress, drink, tired etc etc whatever bullshit he's giving you. NO. EXCUSE.

He's shown you who he is, what you do with that info is up to you but know he'll get worse if this is 3 months in.

Three words of advice.

a. Don't be so open with dates.
b. He's shown you that he's a nasty, misogynist piece of work.
c. Do the Freedom Programme

No way! That is really bad, I’d be gobsmacked (and incandescent). Dont waste any more time with this unpleasant individual, he’s shown you who he is, this will just get worse. Block, breathe a sigh of relief, move on. There are nicer people out there.

Bloody hell OP, Dh has never name called me in 35 years never mind 3 months.
He has shown you the future if you stay with him.

No never. And I'm a very easy going forgiving person. But that's the words of someone who dislikes you.

No, absolutely not.

Red bunting!

No. Not a chance.

No and him needing a night to cool off and unblock you is awful too.

Wow what a nasty piece of work he is- knows just how to hurt. Bin him.

After three MONTHS?! Fucking hell, I've been with my wife 9 years and I don't think I'd forgive her this. Do NOT put up with this shit.

NO

I would have blocked him already

Absolutely not. Three months and he’s saying this??

What’s that expression… ‘When people first show you who they are, believe them.’

I don’t think I’ve got that exactly right, but you get the gist.

At such early days, absolutely not. He’s showing you who he is so sit up and take note. Also blocking you is unforgivable too. 16 years in and we’ve never blocked one another

He's the type to go for the jugular. You're so lucky you found out early. He's capable of being very nasty - the ultimate red flag in my books.

3 months in and he’s being absolutely horrendous, this wouldn’t be acceptable at any point in a relationship but 3 months in and he’s already being like this says a lot and he will probably get worse as it goes on, throw this one back, he is awful and you deserve better

This.

I'm not sure I could forgive this even as a one-off in a long term, established relationship, let alone after 90 days of dating. If that's how he behaves in the dating period when most people are still trying to portray the best version of themselves, what's he going to be like months or years down the line? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don't let him talk you round. He's done you a favour showing you his nasty true colours this early. Dump him and don't look back.

He's already showing you who he really is after only 3 months! Please tell him to fuck right off and never contact you again.

In a 3 month relationship? No I’d not accept it.

In my long term relationship? Yes I’d forgive it if it really was a one-off as it’s so out of character for him. If he became verbally abusive regularly then no I’d not put up with it.