Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

[sunshineandroses25]

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

This. You deserve better so ditch him and find someone who will treat you decently. He's shown you his true self and it's not attractive. So sorry you have been treated this way but at least you don't need to waste another minute on this nasty man.

Sunflowers67 has life improved now your without him?

Have you found some one new, has he??

No.

I ignored this, when I was pregnant and vulnerable and the next 10 years absolutely bore out what the name calling has foretold.

You deserve so much better.

Nasty piece of work who has shown his true colours. Don’t give him another thought.

Now do something lovely for yourself xxx

Your incredible cat is supremely sweet
Thank you for sharing with everyone
God Bless You&Yours sincere soul

Well done getting out and making a clean break. Enjoy the Chinese dinner. He sounds absolutely vile and often that type of abuse is rooted in self hatred. Be glad you are out and away before he does anymore harm as this typically escalates. It's not you, it's him and he is a hideous POS.

Do you think he is the type of man who called you that as a 'one off' and won't do it again when he gets angry? If you do, then by all means forgive him.

I think this is as 'good as it gets'. As time goes on he will think of other equally or even more devastating things to call you. You know little about him in such a short time, but I would get down on my knees and thank God for giving me an unpleasant glimpse into my future.

If you have kids, is he the sort of man who would say ''Take no notice of your mother, she doesn't know what she is talking about'', because he strikes me as being that sort of person - boyed up on disrespect and enjoying watching women squerm.

Up to you: if you love him?

Don’t look back!

That is a hard Nope on forgiveness from me. Arsehole.

Take it as a warning op and get rid. If he can lose his rag that easily at this stage of your relationship, what will it be like later?

It's not so much the fat it's the C@@@ and the blocking that's the concern!

Immature I would say, if this is the way he deals with a disagreement, if you really care about someone you bite your tongue you don’t hurt them like that. Is that the sort of spite you really want to keep hearing?Sorry you have had to put up with that . 💐

Give her a chance!

Today’s the 23rd and she blocked /ended things on the 19th. I doubt she’s had a chance or even the desire to go and “find someone new” in 4 days.

Why is the fat less of concern?

OP has said she’s insecure about her weight and he’s deliberately chosen to target her weight as part of the insult. I’d say that’s a very big concern.

“Fat cow” or even “fattie” for example would still have been a massive red flag even without blocking or the use of the word cunt.

Even if she never mentioned insecurity about her weight, it’s well known by men that insulting a woman’s appearance doesn’t go down well and often triggers/causes insecurities.

The 3 month mark is about the time start to reveal their true selves in a relationship. Prior to that they are on their best behaviour. This is the first indication of what this man is really like. It will only get worse. Run!

No way. If he can call you such vile names just 3 months in, imagine what he'll be like further down the line. If you forgive him for this, that gives him a green light to treat you worse later on. Read up on abusive relationships. Dump his arse. You're very lucky he showed his true colours now- most abusive men are on their best behaviour this early on.

I just find the C word so awful that I can't see past it, the immaturity of blocking and saying fat is bad but to me the C word is another level

I don’t mind the word ‘cunt’ in everyday chat. My team all use it as a jokey term, ‘am I being a cunt?’ type of thing..

I think ‘fat cow’ and ‘fat bitch’ are just as insulting as ‘fat cunt’.

I think this is a fortunate warning about a nasty aggressive man. Say goodbye and thank the universe for a break before you got in any deeper.

As an older woman, my advice is RUN! Words of wisdom, hindsight and wish someone has told me to!

Absolutely not. Move on.

What a bastard. Excommunication is the only appropriate response.

Think it's an awful word I can't even write it down let alone say it 🙈

There is no way you should continue with a relationship with someone who hurls that sort of abuse at you after 3 months, a time that they will be setting out to impress you and be on their best behaviour.

Thank them for showing you who they are before anything was too committed.
Then tell them to do one!

You are a fool if you think he will be any different in the future!

Yes completely concur with you, awful word in the morning my humble opinion too