Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

[sunshineandroses25]

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

I've been with DH for years and he's managed to never call me a cunt in that time... let alone a fat cunt. Three months in and he couldn't control himself? My feeling is that this is the tip of the iceberg.

Not a chance in hell I’d forgive that comment after only being going out for 3 months.

He’s showing you exactly what type of man he is- Listen to him and get out of this relationship!

Christ no! Those are not the words of a decent human being. Block and move on.

Honestly, that’s shocking behaviour. Please, don’t have anything more to do with this horrible abusive man.

OP, I’ve been with my now husband for 19 years and he has never called me an unkind name, not once. It’s not normal, and it’s not ok. Bin him.

Nope! Nope! Nope!

That's a massive red flag after only 3 months. I think he could well turn out to be violent and may be testing you to see what you'll put up with.

Absolutely not. I personally don’t find the word cunt offensive but to use it in that manner. He meant to hurt you and that is unforgivable. If you forgive this so early on I bet as time went on the insults would get worse.

id reply saying you can’t accept being spoken to like that and you no longer wish to progress the relationship. His loss.

I wouldn’t date anyone who said anything intentionally spiteful like that in an argument, never mind that it’s only 3 months in. Sounds like he needs to grow up & you need to stop wasting your time on him!

It's showing you what he's like. The honeymoon period has imploded so it'd be over if it were me. No ifs, no buts. Finished.

3 months in, and not exclusive?? He'll no! And that should be in no way comparable to a spouse or partner...

No that is not something I'd tolerate in along relationship, let alone at 3 months in the honeymoon phase.

Run away and never look back, that one will never bring you joy.

No. You deserve better

He sounds like and awful awful person OP. Bin him!

If you're insecure and only been together 3 months, absolutely not, get rid of him.

No way. Not at 3 months. If DH did this, I'd probably get him tested for Alzheimers as he's never said anything like that in 30 years. But three months into the relationship??? You should be thinking each other are are the most perfect people on the planet.

No. 3 months, 3 years or 3 decades. No.

Nah. I wouldn't stand for that.
Chuck this one back.

I agree, this is absolutely a red flag. I don't think I could get past it. I'm no stranger to swearing and dh and I do argue sometimes , but no name calling. this would be well past my bar.

No

No. I wouldn't accept that from a 3-month relationship nor would I ever accept that from my husband of almost 40 years. That is verbal abuse and you must not tolerate it. Bin him.

Absolutely not. Clearly he wanted to make you feel dreadful about your figure and therefore subdue you into arguing back with him because you felt so humiliated.

Dump him and tell him that you can always lose weight but he will forever be a complete c@nt. Then block.

I've been married nearly 30 years and I'd never forgive DH if he spoke to me like that. You've known this bloke 3 months! Walk away please. He sounds dreadful.

Absolutely not. You've known him for a matter of hours and he is openly showing you what a loser he is.

Never accept any poor behaviour from any man.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

If you take him back now, he'll just know that he can treat you like that again.

Take this time to think about yourself, OP. There's no need to be telling dating partners that you're insecure about your weight. Try and be more confident!