Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

[sunshineandroses25]

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

That’s incredibly nasty op. He’s horrible 💐

You deserve better than this total inadequate

I cannot stand the C word so he'd have blown it with me on that basis alone. As for calling you 'fat' that's a very personal and unnecessary verbal attack which has shown him to be nasty and childish. I'd dump him.

He didn’t lose control. He deliberately applied a massive beating to her vulnerable spots.

Vile and an abuser in the making

There’s always one 🙄

Absolutely not. After 3 months too. Dump him, please, you could do so much better.

He sounds absolutely awful. Find someone who appreciates you.

Hey, first of all, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s completely understandable given what happened. Sometimes when feelings are strong and things get heated, people say things they don’t mean—especially in passionate moments. That doesn’t make it okay, but it does happen, and it’s often a sign that emotions are running high because you both care.

It’s clear there’s a lot of passion between you two, which can be a really positive thing in a relationship. But passion should never cross the line into hurtful words, especially about things you’re sensitive about. The fact that he apologized shows he regrets it, but it’s also totally valid for you to feel hurt and unsure about moving forward.

Take your time to process what happened and decide what feels right for you. If you do choose to talk to him, let him know how much it hurt, and that you need to feel safe and respected—especially because you care so much. True passion should lift you up, not tear you down.

Whatever you decide, you deserve kindness and understanding. Be gentle with yourself as you figure out what’s best for you.

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You already know the answer to your question. 3 months is not a long time and he has shown his true colour which is Red.
You told him your insecurities and he's arrested you " Everything you say will be taken down and used against you" . This man is toxic and shown narcissist traits. I'm not suggesting he is a narcissist. However, his behaviour towards you does point to it. Your "strong feelings". I bet he's love bombed you. I will tell you categorically he has absolutely no respect for you. You cannot win with someone like him, he will destroy.
Please delete him, tell him its finished and for both of you to move on with your lies.
If you decide to give him another chance please put in boundaries. Remember, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries and silence.
Do not argue with someone like him. He loves the chaos. You must remain silent if he's trying g to pick a fight, argue

Typo. Move on with your lives, not lies

And. Also seek support in building your self esteem. God bless

Dump. Full Stop.

Nope. He’s revealed his true colours. Think yourself lucky & dump him.

Im a bloke. Been with my missues 40yrs. Married for 35 of those. If I'd ever called my wife anything remotely as bad as that... I dread to imagine her response.

Dump him and consider it a lucky escape. You deserve much better.

And... bouncy boobs are heaven sent.

Bin it.

Definitely not. Even without the c* bit calling you fat in a nasty way is enough.
I know there is no nice way to be called fat but once someone said to me let’s eat these and both be chunky then he looked mortified so I knew he hasn’t meant to be unkind.
In your case he did mean it. Unfortunately if you forgive people in relationships it doesn’t make them think how lovely you are for forgiving them and how nice they will be to you in the future. It shows them that you will forgive them for things other people wouldn’t so they can do what they like. It’s seen as a negative not a positive by people that behave badly.

I wouldn’t argue the point I would just say it’s not for me and I think it’s best we go our separate ways. If he says I’m sorry etc say thank you. Then end the sentence. Not thank you but…
Just repeat - thank you. If he says I’m sorry.
Then if he says can we meet up to discuss just say no sorry it’s not for me.
Then go home and delete and block. That’s not an aggressive gesture it’s a self preservation gesture.

Dont take him back as he will do it again and again and again but get worse.

Whos to say he isn’t going to progress to physical violence if that is how he behaves after 3 months

You must fix yourself, your esteem and confidence before you give your heart away. You must become absolutely bulletproof. Please be kind to yourself, you deserve much better and much more xx

Kind compassionate, guidance

No op. This behavior can't be tolerated. Leave him be and don't look back. Find someone who values you for you. You would always be questioning in your mind if that's how he really feels if you carried on with him. No man who respects a woman would ever dare say such nasty vile things. I have been with my partner for over 16 years. He has never dared once to ever call me any kind of unkind name. I wouldn't tolerate it. All the best to you.

If you accept him back after calling you that, then he knows what he can get away with. 🤷‍♀️

Erm…. Hate to break it to the cunt, but tits do indeed bounce. He clearly has zero respect or affection for you, plus he appears to be acting like a child, blocking after a tiff would give me the biggest ick. Get rid of him and do some work on yourself and your confidence. It’s true that you should love for someone to love you until you love yourself, that way your standards will be higher and you wouldn’t be in MN asking what you should do, you would know you deserve more

Someone who loves you will see the beauty within. Get rid of this obnoxious man

No way. At the 3 months mark you'd expect someone to still only be showing the very best version of themself. This is just a small preview of what you'd have to look forward to any time you "dared" disagree with him.

This is abusive behaviour and I dread to think what he would be like if you stayed with him. Give him a massive wide berth and think yourself lucky that you've managed to dodge a bullet.

No. Swift goodbye to that one!

Get your trainers on and run for the hills.

lol.