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Original poster

Could you forgive your partner / spouse if they called you

526 replies

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 15:57

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

OP posts:
Backtotheback · 20/06/2025 21:37

No, and especially not after just 3 months, he should still be making you feel special

Thisday3 · 20/06/2025 21:38

No way he has shown his true colours.

Theroadt · 20/06/2025 21:45

Ditch him.

PrettyandPeaceful · 20/06/2025 21:46

It WILL get worse. Get rid

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/06/2025 21:50

@sunshineandroses25 12 weeks let that sink in and here he is treating you like crap.
End it . That’s the only time you well have his respect .
You deserve so much better .

CactusPeach · 20/06/2025 21:55

Absolutely not, it would be hard to forgive a long term partner, I wouldn't even try for a man I've only been dating 3 months.
This is early days in your relationship, people are usually on their best behaviour and he's already shown you this, even worse, he knows you feel insecure about your weight and he's chosen to use it against you, this isn't an insult randomly chosen to try to hurt, it's a targeted attack.
If he can act like this at only 3 months in it's not going to get any better.
Fwiw, fights should never descend into insults.

JustCopyeditorsAnnie · 20/06/2025 21:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DreamTheMoors · 20/06/2025 22:14

3 days
3 weeks
3 months
3 years
3 decades

For me it’s about self-respect. Am I comfortable hearing somebody call me any name besides my own?
No.
You’re worth far more than what this person is asking you to forgive.
Don’t you dare do it. Don’t you dare.

SunnyViper · 20/06/2025 22:14

Arguing to the point of abuse is unacceptable and blocking is just immature so in the bin with this one.

MsOvary · 20/06/2025 22:17

No- highly unlikely I’d forgive that.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 20/06/2025 22:19

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 15:57

A fat cunt.. during an argument?

I’ve been dating a man for 3 months, not exclusive yet but very strong feelings and we were definitely heading in that direction. We had a bit of a tiff last night, things got heated and he called me a fat cunt and blocked me.

He messaged me today and apologised profusely, said he didn’t mean it.

I’m not sure if I can get past it though. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, we’ve talked about it a few times. I’ve dated men in the past who treated me like shit and always put me down because of my weight. He knows all of this. I just feel like it was such a low blow and I would never comment on his looks (he has insecurities too). It’s also made me think is that what he really thinks of me…

Why would you even question this? It’s a no brainer, he’s an absolute loser and not worth your time. Dump.

WorkCleanRepeat · 20/06/2025 22:20

After 3 months there is not a chance I would forgive that. Everyone should still be on their best behavior at that point.

Morningsleepin · 20/06/2025 22:22

Someone who, knowing your Achilles heel, goes straight for it, is extremely bad news. No matter how I angry I was with someone I wouldn't do that to them

Morningsleepin · 20/06/2025 22:22

Someone who, knowing your Achilles heel, goes straight for it, is extremely bad news. No matter how I angry I was with someone I wouldn't do that to them

Futuremrsdyer · 20/06/2025 22:41

It's bad at any point but 3 months in! Like fuck would I have anything to do with him. Honestly lovely your worth so much more than this. Literally needs to be told to get to fuck!

Notshurewhatnow · 20/06/2025 22:47

Disturbia81 · 20/06/2025 21:20

Yeah I don’t get that at all, bouncing is literally what they do..

Show quote history

I wonder if fake ones don’t bounce as much or bounce differently somehow and his brain is so pornified he is disgusted by the movement of natural breasts?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/06/2025 22:49

Fuck's sake, I've been with somebody so abusive he nearly killed me at the end of the relationship and was never called that, let alone within a few weeks of meeting.

Show some common sense.

Miniatureschnauzers · 20/06/2025 22:50

sunshineandroses25 · 19/06/2025 18:16

Thank you for all your comments. I know I deserve better and I’ve blocked him on everything now. I’m glad he’s showed his true colours sooner rather than later

YES!!! I’m so pleased you’ve blocked him and you know you deserve better. You are right, he has shown his true colours. This would get even WORSE and you’d be in for a lifetime of doubt and pain and abuse.
Do not look back, OP. And good luck

Slowdownyouredoingfine · 20/06/2025 22:51

Nope, couldn’t and wouldn’t forgive. I’ve been with DH for 10 years, I’m fat. Never once has he called me fat, not in anger, nor in any other way.

MrsMitford3 · 20/06/2025 22:58

If someone shows you who they are believe them.

He is a giant horrible red flag.

You should actually be relieved that you saw it so early-don't waste another moment of your life even thinking about him.

You deserve better.

Don't want-RUN

Velmy · 20/06/2025 23:43

People can say the most awfully cruel and hurtful things in the heat of the moment. If you're in a loving, committed relationship and it's a one-off in a situation where you're both behaving equally poorly, I think there has to be room for forgiveness so long as there's genuine remorse.

But saying something so shitty, three months in? Nobody would get to speak to me like that. He's shown you who he is, what he thinks of you and how little respect he has.

Also, blocking someone after an argument at this stage in a relationship is the behavior of a teenager. Get rid.

JustMe888 · 20/06/2025 23:44

Leave immediately!!! I made the mistake of not leaving when he called me the same thing and ended up in a very abusive marriage for 25 years. He would get mad and call me a "fat, fucking cunt" daily. I stayed for the children. Big mistake. I am 115 lbs so being called that is not about the weight. It's mean, abusive and narcissistic! Trust me, get out now. Not worth it for 3 months. So many other good men out there!

Shell18celhave · 21/06/2025 01:37

I'm big my partner isn't when we moved in together we really struggled to hit our stride & enjoy lasting peace, we really argued, & a lot of s**t was said on both sides but he never once threw my weight at me & if I've brought it up he's shut me down. It's a very low blow designed to hurt. For me at only a few months I'd cut my losses & walk away

Cecemonkeylou · 21/06/2025 06:04

3 mths and it should be the honeymoon period. What he has said, he has chosen those words because they have the extreme impact and hurt leveled at you. My husband would not call me a cunt.
I would not be with someone like that.

BeNiceorBeQuiet · 21/06/2025 06:29

No, I couldn't forgive or forget that. You can't take words back, argument or not