Boyfriend on holiday

[ThatZippyViewer]

My boyfriend is going on a 4 day trip today with his friends and has already mentioned that the cruise WiFi package is £40 a day which he is not paying. I do feel it could be a good excuse not to speak to me as he loves his space and isn’t a great communicator although when I’m with him he’s on his phone constantly to his mates as I can see the messages coming through. Does anyone have any tips for staying sane during this time and not spiraling. I’m planning to just wait for him to contact me every time but then maybe that looks like I don’t care. After 17 years with my ex I am rubbish at navigating all this relationship stuff!

He's probably telling the truth about on-board wifi, it's extortionate. I have relatives who cruise frequently and they wait for shore trips and spend time in cafes to use free wifi.

This doesn't sound healthy in the slightest. You can't go 4 days with no contact without "spiralling"?

4 days isn’t long, you should both be fine with no contact if you both agree beforehand.
unless there’s an emergency of course.

That’s a v negative assumption about his motives. Unless things he’s done have given cause for concern your thoughts and fear of ‘spiralling’ seem way OTT.

4 days is nothing.

I'm going to Majorca for 4 days with my women friends tomorrow. No-one will be spiralling, why are you spiralling?

Either you trust him or you don't

Find something fun to do while he's away and forget about him for a while, you sound far too clinging and dependent, how long have you been together?

I think he’s right on the price and I think you should be ok to stay sane for 4days no?

you could always look up the cruise company amenities and check if you think he’s lying.

Weve been on cruises with Wi-Fi packages for £40 per day so he's definitely.not lying about that
As for the other stuff it doesn't sound like you should be in a relationship with anyone if you're thinking like this

Is he going on one of the Party Cruises?
If so I would think he doesn't want to contact you because he wants to be single for 4 days.

This

Spiralling about what exactly?!

Cruise wifi is very expensive. It's quite normal for people to not pay it, and to take opportunities when on shore to use wifi.

In any case, you should be able to go 4 days of not talking to your bf without it being an issue. I think that's the issue you would be best focussing on.

There must be some backstory as to why you might 'spiral'?

• a good excuse not to speak to me
• he loves his space
• isn’t a great communicator
• he’s on his phone constantly
• (I need) tips for staying sane during this time and not spiraling…

Why on earth are you with this person? He clearly isn’t bothered about the relationship and you seem desperate.

Time to step back and re-evaluate what you want out of relationships, and do some work on yourself. Counselling would probably be helpful.

as a start, read WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH and THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF ESTEEM. I’m sure you will find them useful.

The ship wifi is awful anyway. He will have contact in ports, just let him enjoy his holiday and keep yourself busy.

Tips to not spiral because you’re spending 4 days without someone who the only thing you wrote about him was that he can’t communicate?

if you’re being serious, I think you genuinely need counselling help. No one with a healthy mindset would spiral with 4 days apart.

Offer to give him the £40 for the WiFi, then you will both benefit from it.

Is the cruise not docking somewhere?
We dont get wifi on cruises as its really expensive, but do when in port so catch up then.
Could he not drop you a quick text then?

Doesn't sound great if you'd be spiralling after 4 days though.

Could you call the cruise company and ask them to make a tannoy announcement for
him to call you?

I’ve heard friends who cruise say the cost of wifi onboard the ship is extortionate.
Anyone in a healthy relationship shouldn’t be worried about 4 days apart, what is it you’re worried about that will make you spiral?

My husband regularly works away sometimes for 2/3 weeks at a time and at times can have limited contact. Keep yourself busy and go on the premise that bad news will reach you before good news.

My tip is you should spend the 4 days reading the book attached and learning about anxious attachment styles

4 days is nothing. Unless there’s a huge back story about his behaviour just wish him a lovely holiday. I don’t expect calls but when in port he could make a quick one. He’s telling the truth abut he WiFi ish (think it’s more like £20 a day)

This doesn’t sound like a good relationship, and you don’t sound as if you’re in a good headspace for one anyway.