Boyfriend on holiday

[ThatZippyViewer]

My boyfriend is going on a 4 day trip today with his friends and has already mentioned that the cruise WiFi package is £40 a day which he is not paying. I do feel it could be a good excuse not to speak to me as he loves his space and isn’t a great communicator although when I’m with him he’s on his phone constantly to his mates as I can see the messages coming through. Does anyone have any tips for staying sane during this time and not spiraling. I’m planning to just wait for him to contact me every time but then maybe that looks like I don’t care. After 17 years with my ex I am rubbish at navigating all this relationship stuff!

Time to reflect on if this is the right relationship for you? Did you need to spend some time single to deal with your needs?

You pay for the WiFi if you're that worried!

Wow OP I don't think you should be in a relationship right now - how can you not cope not speaking to someone for 4 days - don't you have a life outside of this man?

i was away at a wedding for 5 days abroad and i only texted my husband once to say i arrived and sent a few photos following day - and then to say i was at the airport.

I wouldn't be happy paying £40 for WiFi either, that's expensive and most people want a bit of break from thier phone when they are on holiday.

Why do you think he's trying to make excuses not to contact you, is this a new relationship? It's only 4 days , your bf should be able to enjoy his holiday without feeling like he needs to text/call his gf all the time.

More context needed. Why would you spiral?
I wouldn’t spiral if my boyfriend was going away for four days and knew there was a legitimate reason he couldn’t contact me. I’d miss our chats, but I’d just be excited for him to get back and we could have a big catch up.
It’s very legit about the £40 per day cost, and I just think he’s doing the right thing now by telling you upfront and explaining he won’t be in touch for a (very valid) reason. It’s better than you expecting contact and then not hearing from him for four days! You’ll be fine, honestly.

It’s four days - is this a joke?!

Oh OP, he's set out his stall very clearly.

WiFi package is £40 a day which he is not paying.
He could contact you if he wanted to. He doesn't.

I do feel it could be a good excuse not to speak to me
Oh sweetie, do you really think this is ok?

he loves his space
Does he need space from other people as well or just you?

I’m planning to just wait for him to contact me every time
What do you mean every time? He's not paying for WiFi. He won't be contacting you any time never mind every time.

but then maybe that looks like I don’t care.
What it looks like is you trying to justify contacting him. He won't be paying for WiFi. He's not going to contact you.

Yep. My advice is to leave him to it and go do things you enjoy during the time he’s away.

Use the time for yourself.

You may just find you enjoy the peace and quiet…..

4 days! Give him a break.

🤣 Indeed

I see the MN man-haters are out in force, suggesting you dump him just because he wants peace and quiet for a few days.

Spending four days without contacting your partner is absolutely nothing. Frankly if it’s causing you such a problem, I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to extend it for a week.

As for “staying sane and not spiralling”, don’t you have any interests of your own (particularly ones he doesn’t share) that you can occupy yourself with???

Aww, sweet for teen love. We've all been there.

These two are a bit old for that. His mates would rip him a new arsehole for shimmying up to the crows nest to make a wish on Orion's Belt 😂

My late husband and I were weeks, sometimes months apart with only airmail letters.

It is. V expensive to get WiFi on board a cruise ship. I never do.

You don’t have to have on-board Wi-Fi which is over priced slow and hit-and -miss
I always write messages offline and send in port in a Wi-Fi spot (just follow the crew who are always heading for the right spot) you can also load incoming messages etc
you may have to warn people that your email may be out of sync with their incoming messages
it’s also good to detox from instant on-line living !

£160 is a heck of a lot to pay for 4 days access to inessential chit-chat.

True!

Make sure you keep busy, and plan lots of stuff you like your boyfriend doesn't-movies, food, going out whatever.
My Partner of 30 years announced out of the blue he was going on holiday with a friend for a week, it was hard at first-but I was enjoying the freedom not to cook ,not to watch action movies and meeting up with friends by the end of the week.

🙄

Of course that’s the ONLY reason.

Oh my god! Don’t do this. How embarrassing for both of you.

It’s 4 days, not 4 months. I think you are massively overthinking this. Enjoy the time to relax.

I think people are being a little mean here. We don't know what he's done in the past to make her feel this way (maybe he's done nothing but maybe he's known for going on crazy guy weekends and ends up in trouble). I had an ex that everytime he'd go out with his buddies, he'd stop communicating with me and sometimes wouldn't show up for a day or 2 after. It sounds like you might have some issues with communication so come up with a plan with him. Ask him if he'd call you when he gets to port. Also, plan some awesome fun things for you to do while he's gone. Remind yourself that you can't change his behaviour but you can change yours. And if he does something to screw up you're worth more than that anyways.

He’s probably going with another woman. Sorry. And if I’m entirely honest you need to get rid and work in yourself

Good grief, leave the guy alone. You must be stifling to live with. It's just four days not four weeks. What is so important that you need to talk to him every single day?

Back in the olden days when we had no WiFi we used to call and with longer times apart write.

Now, could he take a dongle, use a friend's phone to message, or even a phone on board.

Worst case, you will a few days not in touch but sounds like he may find it hard without any WiFi.