Boyfriend on holiday

[ThatZippyViewer]

My boyfriend is going on a 4 day trip today with his friends and has already mentioned that the cruise WiFi package is £40 a day which he is not paying. I do feel it could be a good excuse not to speak to me as he loves his space and isn’t a great communicator although when I’m with him he’s on his phone constantly to his mates as I can see the messages coming through. Does anyone have any tips for staying sane during this time and not spiraling. I’m planning to just wait for him to contact me every time but then maybe that looks like I don’t care. After 17 years with my ex I am rubbish at navigating all this relationship stuff!

If this is a nice relationship you could use this as a cute opportunity to write each other a card or a note at some point.

When I was an older teen I went somewhere without any phone for a week and my boyfriend and I agreed we would look at the moon at 9pm every night and think of each other and I had a little note book I wrote notes to him in while I was away. This is vomit inducing for most people I realise but was sweet young intense love at the time!

If you trust that he's not the cheaty type then just tell him
If he gets a chance at port you'd love a text and a voicenote otherwise wish him well

If he was going for over a week I'd ask him to pay it for one day so that you could have a video call etc but just four days leave him
Be

Also plan some fun things for yourself with your friends while he's away so he can be the one wondering what you're up to!

Root cause of this issue is that you don’t trust him…

You shouldn't be "spiralling" over 4 days. Have you considered seeing a therapist? Not trying to be rude or flippant, I genuinely think it's a you issue not a him issue, and it can be worked on.

🤣

It’s a 4 day holiday - do you need to be in contact with him? I would just let my partner enjoy it and not expect to be contacted during that time away

4 days is not long to have no contact.
I wouldn’t pay 40 pounds per day for WiFi either.
Honestly op, if you are going to spiral because of 4 days no contact you need to re-evaluate your relationship. It sounds stalkerish. I think you should consider getting some therapy to learn what healthy relationships look like.

Assuming he'll be docking at ports he'll be able to message without Wi-Fi package and use his normal allowance
Fellow cruiser here and I wouldn't give them the money for the wifi, mostly because it's barely works and it's expensive

Plan things to stay active. It will fly in. Keep intrusive thoughts at bay.

Why don’t you offer him £160 to pay for the WiFi? That might stop you spiralling.

He’s not a good communicator yet is on the phone to his friends constantly?

Are you sure he’s going in a cruise with his ‘mates’?

Red flag 🚩🙈

I wouldn’t pay £40 a day for wifi either! It’s only 4 days! Are you really going to spiral if you don’t hear from him frequently? If a partner pressured me like that while I was away it would be a big red flag.

OP - you should not be in a relationship. You need to do a lot of healing first.

If you can’t go without ‘spiralling’ and don’t trust anyone as a default setting - nothing good will come out of it.

It’s normal to like own space. And given how you are - I am guessing there are a lot of insecure behaviour on your side, and irrational jealousy - he needs a break.

It's four days! Leave him be and catch up with him when he's home.

Unless you have a particular reason for not trusting him, I can't personally see it as a problem.
Myself, I'd relish 4 days without a boy (man) coming on to me!

It’s 4 days 🤦🏻‍♀️
Maybe the “spiralling” is why he doesn’t want to contact you!
Are you a pain by any chance?

This is madness. You suspect he may use it as an excuse to not communicate with you?

Does he even like you?

Sorry OP, this isn't love. You deserve much more. There are men who you could be with, who you'd NEVER think would be looking for an excuse to avoid you.

I was in a neglectful marriage for 17 years, it's hell when the person you love most, and who knows you best, is looking for ways to avoid you.

Please don't do this to yourself in your one precious life.

4 days! £40 is a lot of money! I’m sure you can cope for 4 days and if not I’m not sure you should be in this relationship. If you don’t trust him, you don’t trust him a short phone call won’t change that. Even if he did call you it doesn’t mean he isn’t getting up to things when he’s not talking to you.
When my husband and I got together in the 90s I had to go to Germany for 6 months. There was no WiFi, no internet, no mobiles and my landlord wouldn’t let me use the landline so we could literally speak when I managed to call from a pay phone and we had to write letters. Nobody cheated, we trusted each other and that’s why we’re still together 30 years later.

Stupid comment.

Can’t be contact you on the odd occasion he gets WiFi when he docks?

I would be looking at why you need to speak to him at all on a 4 day trip. Everyone needs some space and time for themselves.
Make a plan for the days he is away for yourself that doesnt involve thinkimg about him, fil your days, get a new book, something for yourself.

Not sure he'll be your boyfriend much longer if you carry on like that op

Me and my husband actually like each other so 4 days without contact would be hard for either of us.
But I’m assuming there’s more to this? If he’s crap at communicating with you but yet is always on his phone when he’s with you then it’s a classic case of just not being that into you?

he loves his space and isn’t a great communicator although when I’m with him he’s on his phone constantly to his mates as I can see the messages coming through

He doesn't sound very nice, OP. Why are you with him?