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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband won’t let me read

327 replies

Confusednut · 06/06/2025 06:49

So been married 16 years…..always been pretty turbulent….now I’m getting older I want my life back and my husband doesn’t like it….not allowed to read, otherwise if I do he goes mad….hates me spending time with our daughter….including helping her revise….cant go swimming or to the gym…..list is endless! I know this is controlling behaviour but what can I do to stop this if anything? I’m actually ready to walk away but thought I’d see if anyone had any ideas to help first

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 07/06/2025 14:23

JustSawJohnny · 06/06/2025 22:54

Do you think maybe he's spent years wearing you down slowly so you put up with his shit, OP?

Because I can't imagine any other response to being told I can't read except a straight up laugh and a booming FUCK OFF.

It's really not normal for these things to happen in a relationship.

This is what I think too. Maybe you’ve been conditioned into thinking that this is normal behaviour but it’s far from it.

Have you managed to contact SSAFA or Women’s Aid yet?

nhs.uk

Getting help for domestic violence and abuse

Find out about the signs of domestic violence and abuse, and where to get help. Domestic violence and abuse can happen against women and against men, and anyone can be an abuser.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

Todayismyfavouriteday · 08/06/2025 11:22

You don't seem to understand how serious this situation is. You are a victim of domestic abuse. Please book an appointment with a GP, explain the situation and call for help there. The GP will know where to direct you. If you stay, you will be ruining both your life, and your children's. Or, if you can, go directly to a women's shelter, or call women's aid if you don't know where they are. DO NOT listen to him, ever again.
Let us know how you go. Be strong!

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