FWB more interesting in the B than the F

[SoopriseSooprise]

I've been in a FWB type arrangement with the same guy for over 5 years. Known him as a friend for a bit longer than that beforehand.

We were never mad close texting everyday type friends, but he knows a lot of stuff about me that very few others do, and vice versa.

I've noticed in the past couple of months that he seems to be pulling away from the friendship side of things, and only seems to be interested in the benefits.

E.g. we've gone from meeting at least once a week to meeting about twice a month, and always on his terms.

He's stopped texting me socially and I now only hear from him when he wants to arrange our next meet up.

He no longer stays and chats after the deed. I usually get a "really sorry but I've got to go", or he just starts getting dressed again as soon as he's finished.

Don't get me wrong. The relationship is casual, and that's exactly how I like it, but it's just starting to come off a bit selfish.

He came round on Tuesday and afterwards we made arrangements that he would come back last night and spend the night. Didn't hear anything at all from him all day until 8pm when he cancelled on me. It was a closed-off message which invited no conversation - "Sorry not going to be able to come round tonight, need to be in work early tomorrow. Hope you have a good evening".

I won't hear from him again now until the next time he wants his dick sucked. Sorry for being crude, but thats what it feels like. He got what he wanted on the Tuesday, so I was already expecting him to cancel last night.

Don't really know why I'm posting. I suppose I just wanted to vent, and ask what should I do now? Do I raise it with him or do I just accept this situation is becoming a bit too one-sided than I would like, and call time on it?

Yeah, I got a private message too! Grim.

Funily enough, I havn't 😁

Predictable.

You need to stop this arrangement, he's using you purely for sex and cba even with a small amount of smalltalk let alone act as a friend.
To me it sounds like perhaps you want a more normal/traditional relationship with friendship, love and respect.
Otherwise it's just using each other for purely for sex/physical needs but getting nothing else out of it not even consideration or respect.
Move on and keep your self esteem intact.

Well given the last minute cancellations… he doesn’t seem that keen on the “benefits” either anymore.

I reckon he’s moved on

I’m guessing the coffee date never transpired and instead he suggested that he just pop over for a quick roll around, before quickly getting dressed and leaving.

Don’t do it to yourself anymore OP. This is not a FWB relationship. This is you providing free sexual services to someone who has found someone he likes for more than a FWB relationship but can’t quite cut ties because he wants the sex

It did. Thanks for asking.

i hope so Op, for your sake.

I think safe to say that if the coffee date had gone well, we’d have got an update.

OP, he’s no great loss and I hope you’re not remotely upset by him no longer using you as a vessel for his penis anymore

The Farce , continues it seems 🙄

Huh?

it was no longer a FWB scenario. He was turning up, quick shag and the hurrying out the door. He was using the OP for sex. It was NOT a FWB scenario.

Hence… the thread!

I think I'm just pissed off because he cancelled so flippantly, when I've done plenty of compromising, including taking off work early, for him in the past.

This arrangement no longer works for you. Being able to cancel 'flippantly' is part of the deal, IMO. Otherwise, I'd get into a relationship. I've cancelled on FWB and wouldn't compromise really. Again, that's partly why I have these arrangements.

That said, he probably has met someone and should be honest about that.

Just get a new one. Thats the upside to these arrangements, that you owe each other nothing. It’s sad he isn’t being a friend to you any more if you valued his friendship but what can you do other than accept it and move on? Friendships end. Or you can accept it and not move on if your value the sex more than the friendship.

I think I'm just pissed off because he cancelled so flippantly, when I've done plenty of compromising, including taking off work early, for him in the past.

with your next one OP, don’t be doing plenty of compromising for a FWB. Yes to a partner, but surely a FWB arrangement shouldn’t invoke you doing “plenty of compromising”

Him ending this is definitely in YOUR best interests

I hope you drew on some self respect reserves OP and ended this booty call arrangement. Him cancelling, rocking up for a shag and then scarpering…. Either he found someone else but wasn’t quite ready to let you go OR he’s tapering down.

Either way… I hope you got in there first to call it a day!!

I just commented on another thread. I have a full time job (on holiday today), a busy life, elderly parents, lots going on and a loving relationship. My partner worships the ground I walk on and I don’t need to give up any of my many hobbies. Sorry OP, hope you’ve moved on to someone who respects you. I’m horrified reading this thread sorry

Back off a bit. Don’t be so available all the time.
I Think it’s run its course.