Living with Partner three days a fortnight who wants Rent?

[Ava55]

Hi all,
Please can I get thoughts on this. I’m moving jobs in the next few months and will be spending 3 nights at my partners every fortnight ? He wants what would be a monthly rental ? Is this fair ? Thoughts please ?

How did he even say that with a straight face? His girlfriend staying over 6 nights a months and he wants £750?
Wouldn’t you stay over anyway? Does he usually charge girlfriends for overnights?

He actually thinks charging the same as a month’s rent for a lodger is acceptable, when you’re literally just his girlfriend staying over… I don’t actually have the works for this.

What did you say? Please tell me you’re ending it with him.

It’s 3 nights every 2 weeks. 6ish night a month.

A pretty normal amount of time for a girlfriend to sleep over.

He doesn't see you as a girlfriend or life partner. He must think you are a bit thick.

Make other arrangements, both work accommodation and love life.

No most people would be saying he should bring food , wine, take her out for dinner the nights he’s staying not having over cold hard cash as rent.

Same answer regardless of the sex of the OP

It's actually worse - £125 per night.
I still can't do maths!

Have I understood right? He had a tenant paying £750 a month and he's keeping that tenant's room free for you so he can't rent it? If that's right then it's not unfair.

If you're in his bed then is it you or him that doesn't want a tenant in the house while you're there?

if it's you, that's fair. If it's him, you need to drop him like a hot coal.

WTF, my partner stays at mine 3 nights every fortnight, never even crossed my mind for him to pay rent!

Tell him where to go, absolutely outrageous

OFGS! Best stay under the duvet all day, lest anything else offends you.

Where's the logical fallacy? There isn't one.

You may not agree with the sums or the boyfriendliness of not wanting her to stay for free on a regular, obligatory basis after accepting a job in his area.

However, we don't what the facilities or his circumstances are. The OP dripfed the fact there had been a rental setup until recently. We don't know he doesn't have another in mind at some point. We don't know the going rate of the room.

We aren't in a position to assume he can just as simply take on another renter with the OP in place. I and a lot of friends have house shared, rented and had lodgers over the years and seen first hand a lot of examples where very similar situations have had big implications.

You don't have to agree with me at all. Zero interest in that. But out of interest, what's the logical misstep here in the absence of other detail? All we know is that it may not be romantic he has good potential reasons for not wanting to make this commitment for free.

I wasn't saying she'd sleep apart. The point is having another person around can affect the balance and the attraction of the place for a renter. This may be a very pertinent factor for him.

Nobody has said really why she should be entitled to stay for free when he's not happy with the arrangement for whatever reason? She doesn't have to like it but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad person or a mercenary.

He really loves you doesn't he!! Dump the miserable twat and book a travelodge.

Presumably the tenant was there permanently, 6 nights a month is not worth 750!!
Hes taking the piss, fuck him off and get a Premier Inn!!

It shows you everything you need to know about how he sees your relationship - and you. Also, this gives you a great preview of what he'll be like as a husband. Run a mile.

Is he tight in general?

Is this like a tradesman's quote. Where they don't want your job, so overprice it wildly? Maybe your partner's get out too.

@Ava55 this is a joke right? If not RUN don’t walk away from this man.

what do you think he would be like if you actually lived with him?

no thanks, cut your losses and do it now

Hotel all the way for that much (and if he decides to stay there with you any night you want half the dosh!). What a CF.

It's very difficult indeed to see how staying six nights a month could make the difference between having a lodger or not. It would have to be a pretty tiny flat, which would mean that it's unlikely that you could charge £750 a month rent anyway.

If the reality is that he just can't afford to take the risk, surely he should just be honest and say that to OP, not come up with this ridiculous rent idea.

What a knob! I wouldn’t want to even be in a relationship with with such a tight arse

Whilst it sounds unfair, from a legal perspective it's not - it legally prevents you from being able to claim any beneficial interest in the property, and just formalises the kind of money you might expect to contribute anyway.

Its not very romantic I agree, but it is very practical.

The money he is asking for is daft though, it should be pro rata based on occupancy and at the low end of that.

We can't be sure OP and BF would share a room, I've been married 21 years and only slept the night with my wife a few weeks of that (holidays and visits etc) because I snore and she's a light sleeper, happier all round in own beds!

Dump the Financial abuser, if you stay with him then the financial abuse will escalate. He's testing the boundaries to see what he can get away with now.

I can't help feeling there's more to this story, as on the face of it it really doesn't seem to make any sense.
OP, are you REALLY only staying for three nights a fortnight?
Are you storing any belongings there/keeping a second wardrobe for work etc in the spare room, preventing it from being rented out?
Does your partner REALLY only buy ''a bit of milk or bread'' when he stays with you?

Well yes, but he hasn't asked for £150 p/m has he? He's asked for £750 p/m and that's taking the piss when she's only there for 6 nights in the month.

I don't think he would be called a cocklodger if it was the other way round actually. I think most women on here would say that he should pay something but not the full monthly amount if it was the OP wanting to charge him £750 for being there 6 nights in the month.

He's not a partner. Don't stay. Don't pay. Think about the relationship as a whole

This is ludicrous. We have a friend who stays once a week for work and are about to to have similar arrangements with another. We also host friends who have the odd short contract in our city. We have never asked for money and also include them in our shopping and cooking plans.

It's nice company, they sometimes bring wine etc. and they return favours with petsitting and so on.

Your boyfriend is awful. Why would he even need to replace a lodger if you are staying with him? DP moved in for a few months during one lock down before he moved in properly and I only expected to share grocery costs since he was paying rent elsewhere.

It's a ridiculous amount of money for the number of nights you are going to stay there. I do think you should pay something towards staying there because you will be using utilities while there and you should certainly be paying your fair share of the groceries while you are. Plus you are going to be saving by not having to pay for a hotel or a room in a house or something.

You could be right in thinking that he wants to replace the money lost by no longer having a tenant. Can he not find another tenant? I presume that you will be sleeping in your partner's room while there so this wouldn't prevent him renting the other room out.

Anyway, fuck it, I certainly wouldn't be paying that much because he's taking the piss and you could easily find somewhere else to stay for 6 nights a month for much less than that. You could lodge with someone for example or get a cheap airbnb.

Then I'd be taking a look at the relationship because while he's not unreasonable to ask for a contribution (and you'd be taking the piss if you paid nothing towards staying there) he's trying to use you as a very easy way of getting £750 a month!