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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Holiday ruined, husband ill and being a bit of a prat

459 replies

Blocuian · 03/06/2025 10:16

Me and DH are abroad on what was meant to be a much needed holiday, first one in years just the two of us. It’s been totally ruined. He’s come down with what I think is food poisoning – been in and out the loo constantly, can’t eat, sweating and miserable. I get that he’s ill and it’s not his fault, but it’s how he’s being that’s getting to me.

I offered to get a doctor (hotel can arrange and we’ve got insurance) but he snapped at me that I “don’t care anyway” and told me not to bother. I’ve been sat in this hotel room for 2 days while he refuses food, won’t let me open the curtains and gets stroppy if I even mention going out for a walk or a coffee. He says if I go out it just proves I don’t care.

This sort of behaviour isn’t completely out of the blue either – lately he’s been a bit controlling in general, doesn’t like me doing much without him, makes digs, gets passive aggressive. I didn’t realise how much until being stuck in a room with him like this.

I’m honestly thinking about flying home early. I feel like I’m not helping him by sitting here while he sulks and makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave the room. But I know if I go he’ll say I abandoned him.

What would you do? Anyone else been in this sort of situation? Feel like I’m going mad.

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 03/06/2025 22:36

socialdilemmawhattodo · 03/06/2025 18:16

We so need that laughter emogi back. Emotional maturity of a bad prawn. Love it!

What happened to the laughing emoji ?

LillyPJ · 03/06/2025 22:54

Ellie56 · 03/06/2025 22:36

What happened to the laughing emoji ?

I asked that question too. It's a shame not to be able to show appreciation for a bit of humour.

Littlejellyuk · 03/06/2025 22:54

Ellie56 · 03/06/2025 22:36

What happened to the laughing emoji ?

OH MY GOD YOU ARE CORRECT 💯

WHERE DID THE LAUGHTER EMOJI GO???
😱😭😨

gamerchick · 03/06/2025 22:55

People were using it to bully others. It was monitored by the bosses for a bit and then it was taken away.

Hibernating80 · 03/06/2025 22:58

I was ill on a once in a lifetime holiday and my partner went out. He'd check I had everything I needed and had his phone on him - though he was surfing so couldn't answer straight away. I was more than fine with it. No way I would have let my illness ruin it for him as well. It's also happened the other way around as well on more regular holidays.

smartarsey · 03/06/2025 22:59

If he is still ill tomorrow maybe he needs antibiotics. Campylobacter is vicious and requires antibiotics to recover. Not making excuses for him BTW.

GabriellaMontez · 03/06/2025 23:04

I'd definitely get hold of a dr! Purely so you can tell everyone when you get home!

LillyPJ · 03/06/2025 23:04

@gamerchick Bully? People have occasionally given me a laughing emoji to dismiss my argument but I wouldn't call that bullying. They probably thought my comment was ridiculous and I supposed they didn't want to carry on with the discussion. I just shrugged it off. 'Bullying' seems too strong a word for using a silly little picture!

DorothyStorm · 03/06/2025 23:04

He is punishing you. Him cheating and you taking him back means he is the bad guy. He wont like that so he has to twist it so you suffer for him looking bad.

go swimming, enjoy the holiday and then leave the controlling cheating arsehole

socialdilemmawhattodo · 03/06/2025 23:10

Ellie56 · 03/06/2025 22:36

What happened to the laughing emoji ?

'Scuse my poor spelling, it was supposedly removed due to bullying. I don't believe it. The claim that is. This is the tough site - swearing allowed.

BIWI · 03/06/2025 23:11

There are loads of threads about the laugh reaction being removed - head over to Site Stuff.

In a nutshell, though, it was being used maliciously, to poke fun at posters, rather than using it as it was intended.

Blueskiesandrainbows · 03/06/2025 23:12

Having had food poisoning on holiday so I do feel sympathy for him, I ended up in hospital and was very ill. I hope the same thing won’t happen to him, food poisoning can be very serious.

gamerchick · 03/06/2025 23:13

LillyPJ · 03/06/2025 23:04

@gamerchick Bully? People have occasionally given me a laughing emoji to dismiss my argument but I wouldn't call that bullying. They probably thought my comment was ridiculous and I supposed they didn't want to carry on with the discussion. I just shrugged it off. 'Bullying' seems too strong a word for using a silly little picture!

Apparently it's been used on people in real distress and on serious topics.

I personally don't care, I think they were a daft idea in the first place. I'd have the rest of them took off me.

SavageTomato · 03/06/2025 23:15

Next flight home and block him from your life. What a soul sucking piece of shit he is.

Littlejellyuk · 03/06/2025 23:23

SavageTomato · 03/06/2025 23:15

Next flight home and block him from your life. What a soul sucking piece of shit he is.

Soul sucking piece of shit is the best comment of the evening 👌😁👊

JumpingDizzy · 03/06/2025 23:32

LillyPJ · 03/06/2025 22:54

I asked that question too. It's a shame not to be able to show appreciation for a bit of humour.

😂 did that work?

SuperBlondie28 · 03/06/2025 23:35

Had food poisoning last year in Spain as did hubby. He was bad one day. I was worse the next day. My daughter in next room OK.

I don't understand why he'd want you there. If he's really bad, get medical advice. Men are babies with illness though. A slight sniffle and it's full blown flu lol

On more a practical side, it's best if he's got the loo to himself. I had D&V. I needed toilet access to myself.

Todayismyfavouriteday · 04/06/2025 01:23

Get a different room, go out, have coffees, enjoy the place, enjoy the holiday. It looks as if the situation will not improve either way. Why miss out on your own holiday for a whingy, controlling man? If he doesn't want to see a doctor, let him stew on his own and get room service. It looks as if the relationship is not great anyway.

50lbstolose · 04/06/2025 07:17

Have a great day out today

iseethembloom · 04/06/2025 09:27

He’s mental. Any normal / sensible person would want to be left alone to be ill in peace and solitude.

Especially when you’re on holiday! It’s just so utterly, utterly selfish to attempt to spoil someone else’s holiday. He literally wants you to sit in a dark hotel room for hours and days while he snoozes through it?! This isn’t normal behaviour.

Todayismyfavouriteday · 04/06/2025 11:18

iseethembloom · 04/06/2025 09:27

He’s mental. Any normal / sensible person would want to be left alone to be ill in peace and solitude.

Especially when you’re on holiday! It’s just so utterly, utterly selfish to attempt to spoil someone else’s holiday. He literally wants you to sit in a dark hotel room for hours and days while he snoozes through it?! This isn’t normal behaviour.

This, exactly.

Cakeorchocolate · 04/06/2025 11:24

I was pretty unwell recently, but honestly the last thing I wanted was my husband in the room with me while I felt dreadful, vomiting, writhing in pain. So if we were on holiday I'd have been telling him to go and swim or explore etc, but just to keep his phone on for if I needed him.

As he's being awful to you when you're there, it's not like you're distracting him from feeling awful since he's only sniping at you. And if he felt bad enough to need babysitting he'd agree to calling for a doctor.

I'm glad you got out eventually. Making you feel guilty is awful. Saying you don't care, I feel, is him projecting how he feels to he honest. If he cared about you, he would want you to get some air and enjoy the sunshine and try to make the most of a bit of each day at least. And he wasn't in pain while sleeping.

I hope you continue leaving him to be miserable and feeling hard done by. It's all he deserves anyway having cheated on you. He's lucky you're still part of his life at this point!

Scottishskifun · 04/06/2025 11:31

I really hope you have had an enjoyable breakfast and now having a lovely explore followed by a swim OP!

Conniebygaslight · 04/06/2025 12:44

I'd get the doctor immediately OP and ask for an internal examination....That'll sort the lying, gaslighting arsehole.
He's not being a prat BTW he's being an abusive, manipulating bastard.

justasking111 · 04/06/2025 12:54

The eejit is on day four of this malady. He could have been seen on the Monday by the doctor and be lying by the pool now, fragile but at least relaxing.. what a waste.