Holiday ruined, husband ill and being a bit of a prat

[Blocuian]

Me and DH are abroad on what was meant to be a much needed holiday, first one in years just the two of us. It’s been totally ruined. He’s come down with what I think is food poisoning – been in and out the loo constantly, can’t eat, sweating and miserable. I get that he’s ill and it’s not his fault, but it’s how he’s being that’s getting to me.

I offered to get a doctor (hotel can arrange and we’ve got insurance) but he snapped at me that I “don’t care anyway” and told me not to bother. I’ve been sat in this hotel room for 2 days while he refuses food, won’t let me open the curtains and gets stroppy if I even mention going out for a walk or a coffee. He says if I go out it just proves I don’t care.

This sort of behaviour isn’t completely out of the blue either – lately he’s been a bit controlling in general, doesn’t like me doing much without him, makes digs, gets passive aggressive. I didn’t realise how much until being stuck in a room with him like this.

I’m honestly thinking about flying home early. I feel like I’m not helping him by sitting here while he sulks and makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave the room. But I know if I go he’ll say I abandoned him.

What would you do? Anyone else been in this sort of situation? Feel like I’m going mad.

Leave the room. He's gonna be mad either way, so you might as well have some breathing space.

This sort of behaviour isn’t completely out of the blue either – lately he’s been a bit controlling in general, doesn’t like me doing much without him, makes digs, gets passive aggressive

I couldn't live like this. I would give him an opportunity to address this behaviour but if he didn't that would be the end.

Oh my god please go out of the room. Tell him only an absolute doormat martyr would stay in the room with an asshole like him and yes he’s unwell but people can be unwell without being nasty jerks. Can you get another room?

He’s behaving like a moany entitled brat. He doesn’t own you.

Leave the room, it’s a few hours less of listening to his whining

What’s wrong with him? If he was really sick he’d welcome the doctor.

If he is going to be miserable anyway, then go for a walk, sit outside with a coffee.

Fgs just go out. You can't do anything for him if it is for poisoning apart from making sure he stays hydrated, you don't need to be by his bedside. If it was out of character I'd probably give him a bit of a pass as he's probably feeling miserable but it sounds like he's a controlling dickhead normally so I'd ignore him. Who cares if he claims you're abandoning him? You know that's not true.

Sorry see you said food poisoning . I’ve had it & wanted to be left alone. It has to work its way through his system. You sitting there doesn’t help him in any way. What a Twonk

He’s gonna be a spoilt little man regardless so go out and enjoy yourself. If he kicks off and doesn’t stop fly home early and leave him there and file for divorce.

Just go out. He can call you if he needs you and who wants someone hanging around when they have food poisoning? Id totally just want my privacy.

What a weirdo.
I couldn't be doing with that. Fly home and think about whether your marriage has a future. Maybe talk to a counsellor about it.

Leave the hotel, go home, get divorce

My H had this in Italy - (ischia to be precise) just stacked him up with fluids, dioralyte etc and went off round the pool and long walks in the old town and checked every hour by text if he needed anything - 2 days like this which was a bit odd - but then was fine when in sorrento - I wouldn’t put up with this OP - it’s your holiday too - how old are you both ?

Any normal partner would say you go out and sit in the sun and i’ll message you if I need anything. I’d be ending this relationship once home.

Go take a breath. He’s being vile. I got ill the first couple of days when on honeymoon and I just wanted to be by myself. My husband went off and investigated and checked on me regularly. No point both being miserable.

He’s a controlling nob / baby.

Thanks all – honestly reading these has made me feel less mad. He’s just laying in bed clutching his stomach and groaning like he’s on death’s door. He’s always been a bit dramatic when he’s unwell but this time he’s really pushing it.

I offered dioralyte, water, cold flannel, even rang down to reception to see about a doctor but he just keeps saying no and acting like I’m abandoning him for even thinking about leaving the room.

And yep, he’s probably going to be mad either way so you’re right – might as well go sit by the pool for a bit and clear my head. I’ll try the check-in-by-text idea too. No reason I have to be sat in silence watching him sweat.

We’re both early 40s btw. Too old for this nonsense really.

Absolutely go out. Get a coffee. Read a book. Have a swim. Remind yourself what life can look like when you aren’t pandering to someone who would rather you suffer with them than enjoy a much wanted holiday.

Just tell him you are going to get medication for him and food and fresh air for you, otherwise you will be ill as well!

If he's going to be sulky and grumpy whatever you do, you might as well go out. You are not gaining anything by sitting in a darkened room pissing each other off!

And maybe take the time out to consider if you do need to have a conversation when you are home about how unhappy his behaviour in general is making you

Go out and get some immodium and rehydration drinks for him. And then go out for the day and enjoy your holiday.
Can you afford a second room? You don't want to catch whatever he has after all.

If it is food poisoning, there’s not really anything a doctor can do. You just have to wait it out and do your best to avoid dehydration. Anti nausea meds might help but you can get those over the counter - you don’t need a doctor.

He’s not a child and doesn’t need looking after, except for making sure he had water and snacks available. I would hate someone looking over me when I’m not well.

go out and try and enjoy your holiday.

Why on earth would he want your holiday ruined just because his is?

If he's genuinely behaving in that way, I'd be leaving him permanently.

In the meantime, get out and enjoy your holiday anyway.

As someone who is very much suffering the after effects of the most horrific case of food poisoning I've ever had, and feeling really rather sorry for myself, I say leave him bloody to it.

His behaviour is absolutely ridiculous. Making you miserable won't make him any less miserable, and his wankerish and childish behaviour is inexcusable. Go out and get some fresh air and some time away from his miserableness. Tell him to get a grip or you will get an earlier flight and leave him to it.

Given its day 2 if still like it later then I would call the Dr regardless.

I would also go sit by the pool!
Give him a bottle of water, dirolytes etc.

I have been very ill whilst on holiday before I told my DH to go explore, chill out etc once he had put a load of supplies out for me.
No point both of us miserable and it meant I could sleep.

I wouldn't be going home but I would be getting another room! And spending my days doing exactly what I want to do. Lie by the pool, go and have a leisurely lunch, a couple of glasses of wine, go for a wander into the local village / town.

Let him have his pity party in the hotel room on his own!

We had a couple of days on our last holiday where DH had (suspected) sunstroke and he had absolutely no issue with me going out and doing the above. I just went back to the room occasionally to check in on him, take him food and drinks etc which he was massively grateful for. But if your DH is being an arsehole then I wouldn't even bother doing that tbh.

Absolutely get out and enjoy your holiday. I can’t believe he would make you stay in, if it were me being unwell I’d encourage DH to still go out so he didn’t miss out.