Holiday ruined, husband ill and being a bit of a prat

[Blocuian]

Me and DH are abroad on what was meant to be a much needed holiday, first one in years just the two of us. It’s been totally ruined. He’s come down with what I think is food poisoning – been in and out the loo constantly, can’t eat, sweating and miserable. I get that he’s ill and it’s not his fault, but it’s how he’s being that’s getting to me.

I offered to get a doctor (hotel can arrange and we’ve got insurance) but he snapped at me that I “don’t care anyway” and told me not to bother. I’ve been sat in this hotel room for 2 days while he refuses food, won’t let me open the curtains and gets stroppy if I even mention going out for a walk or a coffee. He says if I go out it just proves I don’t care.

This sort of behaviour isn’t completely out of the blue either – lately he’s been a bit controlling in general, doesn’t like me doing much without him, makes digs, gets passive aggressive. I didn’t realise how much until being stuck in a room with him like this.

I’m honestly thinking about flying home early. I feel like I’m not helping him by sitting here while he sulks and makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave the room. But I know if I go he’ll say I abandoned him.

What would you do? Anyone else been in this sort of situation? Feel like I’m going mad.

Omg he’s a twit.

Exactly

Coke (as in cola!) and bananas for him. Gin and tonic on a terrace for you. Hourly texts. Doctor tomorrow if not better (72 hours). No more bullshit.

Get down to the pool! He won’t appreciate you being there anyway so get out of that bloody room and leave him to it!

I went on three holidays with my ex and he got food poisoning on all of them 🙄

One of the vomiting bugs seemed to be a 24hr thing so I stayed with him.

One lasted two days in bed and he needed help to even get to the toilet. We were in a place where I didn't feel very safe alone either, so I only popped out for necessities and on the third day he managed to get up so we could go to a nicer town.

The final one lasted four days. We were at a beach resort so I just left him in the room and went to the beach and hung around with some friends I made there. I did cancel the diving course we'd planned to do together. When I also got food poisoning on the final day of the holiday he was sympathetic - but there's not much you can do really is there?

Men often become shits when they have been unfaithful. Is it possible he's done it again?

Enjoy your day. He'll survive. Wanker.

Selfish weirdo. Imagine being so controlling you actively want a witness to your disgusting stomach bug. Nothing you’ve said suggests he needs a doctor and he’s said no so drop that. But please go out and enjoy your holiday! Bring him back supplies from the pharmacy and some plain food he could nibble on when he’s feeling up to it like ready salted crisps but don’t be held hostage by this ridiculous performance. And I sincerely hope that when he feels better he apologises for taking his frustrations out on you.

I meant for OP to enjoy it today with music,a book & a glass of juice/wine. This at least until he settles down & is less miserable & agrees it's wrong to expect her to be in the room for much longer. As much as it's going against the grain here,I would remain with my DH if he was really sick. I would also do the things I mentioned such as go out for treats for myself & extra water,medication etc. I would definitely request a balcony room. I'm sure the hotel would oblige in the circumstances.

He's had a ONS in the recent past. I'd be living it up in the pool and drinking non alcoholic cocktails and going sight seeing. He sounds utterly horrible.

Just read that he’s the one that had a ONS and now he’s behaving like Shirley Temple. Go out. If he doesn’t get his act together, read the riot act. He’s being a tosser - don’t let him get away with it

Glad you are going to go out @Blocuian Don't check in with him every 5 minutes either. Tell him in the not e that he can phone reception if he gets worse to call a doctor for him and you will check in, by text in 2 or 3 hours time. Otherwise he'll be on the phone every few minutes when he wakes up. He's being very selfish and I wouldn't have sat in for 2 days either. What part of the world are you in just now?

Oh - change the title. Remove ‘bit of a.’

Nah. It would take hours to sort, delicate flower would refuse to move, but more importantly op shouldn't have to just sit out on a balcony and put up with his childish bullshit.

Leave the room. Go somewhere and eat and have a coffee. Make sure he is hydrated but he doesn't need you there all the time.

I'm so sorry you are stuck in this awful situation. Please get out of the room for some fresh air and breathing space.

I was taken ill abroad years ago with food poisoning. I told my DH to go out for walks, food etc - but he always came back and checked on me. I didn't want to ruin his holiday, and there was no way I would have insisted he stayed in the room 24/7.

Set him up with some water, sick bowl, meds whatever and Get Out and enjoy your holiday. Why on Earth would you stay and 1) Waste your day 2) Risk catching his sickness?
Surely he has a phone so can text if he needs you for anything.
It's incredibly selfish of him to not encourage you to go and enjoy yourself. What would you do if the tables were turned?

I thought that too I did it when I had to be at work for training and had a stomach bug…bad idea! Let the bug work through his system.

Could he be behaving badly so that you’ll be the bad guy if you decide to leave this selfish, horrible man?

But when our youngest was a baby, he had a ONS. Took a lot to get over and when I finally took him back it felt like things were good again.

But just lately he’s started getting more controlling. Little things like comments if I make plans without him, or getting moody if I go out with mates. I think I didn’t want to admit it to myself until now.

He's the one who had an ONS, and he's moody! I know it's very easy to say LTB with kids etc- especially 4 of them- but I can't bear controlling men. DH has many faults, but he is very secure and has no issues with me even taking solo holidays, breaks, nights out, whatever. I coulldn't live with a possessive or jealous man.

Many of my friends report that their husbands are getting controlling in their 40s and 50s. None of them have any intention of having an affair, but their husbands think they do.

He had lost respect for you when he had that ONS - it's even worse now.

I know you're in a really difficult situation with having small children but unless he has a personality transplant your marriage is in real trouble.

Hmm I’m suspicious that he’s taken you away on holiday to torture you.

He had his ONS, you took him back but he resents the fuck out of you now.

Maybe you need to be more ‘grateful’ that he came back. Maybe he finds 4 kids (his kids) a lot of work & thinks you need to appreciate him more for the god (or dog) he is.

I may be completely off & projecting.

If there's a pool, go and sit next to it. He can't text you if he needs anything. I certainly wouldn't have sat in hotel room for 2 solid days looking at him

I would leave him to it and leave the room each day. There’s not reason your holiday should be ruined because he’s fallen ill. I know my partner would tell me to go and enjoy myself if he got food poisoning on holiday. Seems a bit selfish and controlling if he’s making you stay with him. If he’s miserable and moody anyway then I would just go out tbh

What country are you in? I remember Dd being poorly like this in Egypt and I got tablets from the local chemist, think they were some form of antibiotic….which logically I know shouldn’t work for food poisoning but apparently they were like magic for the local food poisoning. Maybe a swizz but they seemed to work well.

He is totally unreasonable. I’d get him some electrolyte replacement sachets and leave him to it.
If it turns out to be norovirus rather than food poisoning and you come down with it in 48 hours, I wonder if he will then attentively sit next to you whilst you vomit all day!
I’d be taking a long hard look at this relationship to be honest, for someone who cheated previously he doesn’t sound that great. Hope you manage to salvage some semblance of holiday time for yourself 🩷