Husband left at New Years and just turned up like nothing happened

[throwawaymum2024]

Honestly not even sure where to start. DH left just after NYE, literally 2nd Jan, no note no message no nothing. Just packed a bag and vanished. Wouldn’t answer calls or texts, blocked on everything. No one from his side heard from him either, not even his mum (who’s beside herself). Police said he was fine, ‘left voluntarily’ or whatever so not much they could do.

I’ve been solo parenting 3DC since then, barely holding it together, assumed he’d either done a runner or something awful had happened but he was alive at least so no answers.

Anyway. He just turned up yesterday. Knocked on the door like he’d just nipped to the shops. Said he’d been ‘sorting himself out’ and ‘couldn’t cope’ and that he’s ready to come home now. No apology, no proper explanation, just… like nothing happened.

DC (7, 5 and 2) were confused obviously. Eldest cried all night. I’m angry and numb and tired and I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with this. I feel like I’ve spent 6 months mourning and now he’s back like a ghost.

I haven’t let him stay but he’s saying he wants to talk. I don’t know if I even want to hear it. Just needed to get it out somewhere. Anyone been through similar?? I feel totally lost.

hi I'm going through the same thing my husband has mental health problems and left at Christmas over nothing. I was so heartbroken and since have struggled to get by he's still in touch but things haven't improved he say he needs to sort his head out and then he will come home but we me and my daughter are 7 month into the year and he has hurt us so badly.. don't know what to do. so yeah I understand your pain. sending hugs

I imagine your mental health isn't an issue for your husband then? Get him to talk, try again. How is he 'sorting his head out' and yet leaving you to cope. Sorry it's awful for you and you have stayed with your child. YOU are amazing 👏.

I sorted private counselling out for him gave him space rang him tried giving him love and support and nothing has worked I'm so sad but also get mad sometimes as to how he can treat us like this. he's not as stupid as he's making out I feel like such a fool.

100% this. Take big care of yourself emotionally and most of all, protect your children. A DH/exDH like this is hardly going to turn into the family ‘rock’.

I don’t think the OP @throwawaymum2024is coming back.

It would be a good idea to start your own thread so that you can get lots of support. This thread is a zombie now and OP hasn’t been back so I’d definitely start your own on the relationship board. So sorry this happened to you.

oh OK thanks I'm new to this might sound silly but don't know how to start my own thread.. never mind

Hey it’s easy! If you go to the home page or active page, at the bottom right it has a pencil symbol and says “new”. That’s it! Choose your board, I’d choose “Relationships” and then you can post. It sounds like you need support and this thread is nearly full. You can do it!

Can you please please update us as to whether you ever found out where your husband was all that time?

Yes, it must be a year since he skipped off. Did he make mention of the anniversary

How are you OP? Thinking of you xx

Oh I often think about this op

I also think about this and also saw it on Bored Panda the other day. I hope OP got rid of him.

Preferably under the patio ! lol x

Sorry, I've just seen that this is a really old post so I've deleted it! I hope that OP is doing okay now.

That must have been a scary and dificult time and adjustment forced onto you without warning.
You have every right to be angry, disappointed, hurt, let down. Any one of a thousand feelings that I can't begin to understand.

I think the only question I would have is would I regret not hearing whatever explanation he has.

Did you ever find out where he was all that time?

@throwawaymum2024 How are you? Did you find out what was going on? What’s happened moving forward?