Random Message DH Affair Part2

[basilbush]

Hi all

Link to previous thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5344952-random-message-saying-dh-affair?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

TLDR: I got a WhatsApp telling me DH (by name) was having an affair. The ‘proof’ was very suspect and I didn’t believe it. Went through it all with DH who denies it all and the messages turned to some insults.
We believed it was someone with malicious intent.

Im sorry I didn’t start a thread straight away-I didn’t want to start one and then not have the time to keep it up to date as yesterday was really busy. So some progress has been made:
-After being super certain the baby shower wasn’t put online I’ve discounted the woman from work. I’ve also found out that she’s moved back to her home country on the other side of the world so unlikely.
-I know people were unsure why I thought my college friend was the link. Essentially one of the insults I got sent was quite personal and about something I used to be quite insecure of when I was younger (not so much now) and college friend was aware of it.

I was still fairly certain it isn’t FROM her as I just can’t square that off but it seems to be too much of a coincidence that she was at the baby shower, has access to me online and knows about this thing.

We told PIL everything when they dropped kids off yesterday and DH said that he was supposedly with this woman that time I was at the baby shower-they completely backed him up that he was with them the whole time and couldn’t believe someone could be so vindictive. I felt bad we told them as they were quite upset about it all.

Back to college friend. We decided yesterday morning to follow Colleen’s lead and I posted a Facebook status viewable just to her along the lines of ‘absolutely devastated. Nearly 20 years only to be betrayed-anyone know a good solicitor?’ (Note, I would never normally share something so private!!).

We figured if it was her, I’d get a WhatsApp message mocking me or full of smugness. We could see she’d be been online lots through the day but we didn’t get anything from the number.

Then this morning I get a WhatsApp from her (using the number she used in the baby shower group) saying she’d seen my status, was so sorry and wondered if I was around for a catch up as she’s a bit worried about a few things and needs to talk to me.

Ive obviously tried to ask questions but she’s just asked if we could meet. We’ve got a few kids activities this morning but I’m meeting her at 2 for a drink and to see what she has to say.

Sorry, that was really long! And please don’t worry, this hasn’t completely taken over our weekend-we took kids to soft play party, had a nice bbq and this morning are going swimming. But I’m determined to find out what this is all about.

@bluesriff she may have seen the mumsnet conversations and wants to understand why she’s being blamed? That’s a possibility.

Is your dh going with you, he could sit with you both or incognito on the table behind you.

This is the top-trending story on Mumsnet so she has probably seen it.

So intriguing, good luck op

No, it doesnt. I just tested it on Facebook- if you post only to a specific person, all they can see is the "friends" icon, they cannot see it was only posted to them alone

Well she can see that she and two others are the only ones to see the fb post so she’d wonder why.

Friendship???? Are you nuts? This ‘friend’ is the one sending the shitty messages!!

No you cant see this- I just tested it

I hope it goes well today OP and you have some answers.

This is better than the Archers!! Will be refreshing the thread from 2.10pm…

Good work, you might as well meet her if anything out of curiosity. I’d record it too. Let her to the talking keeping silent makes others uncomfortable and they end up talking themselves into things they wouldn’t ordinarily say

Not everyone in the world is on mumsnet

You can always say you were reacting to some messages about DH affair so there's still a way to walk it back after meeting up - when you 'realise' it was all groundless.

Weird. Some people say that you can and some people say you can’t.

Good luck OP. Just sorry you and the family have been on receiving end of this.

WTAF?

Maybe they’ve changed it then as it did used to display it was visible to a small audience

No, it’s going to a lot of effort to find out who in your life could be so malicious towards you. Wouldn’t you want to know so you can cut them out completely? This person clearly knows OP.

OP, yesterday you said you had arranged to ring the college friend in the afternoon. Did that not happen in the end yesterday?
Hope all goes well. Her saying today about 'clearing the air' and being 'worried about a few things' is odd! Good luck with the meet up. I would play cards close to chest at first, and see what she says.

It's so bizarre!! Will be very interesting to see what your friend says this afternoon

The effort she’s going to is nothing do do with her husband’s innocence - it’s to find out who is trying to anonymously be malicious to her and why.

I hope you get some answers OP. It’s all very strange.

How intriguing and also worrying for you! Hope you get some answers.

Omg I'm thinking Colleen Nolan then clicked 🙈😂

I agree she wants to meet because she doesn't want written "proof" of anything