Random Message DH Affair Part2

[basilbush]

Hi all

Link to previous thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5344952-random-message-saying-dh-affair?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

TLDR: I got a WhatsApp telling me DH (by name) was having an affair. The ‘proof’ was very suspect and I didn’t believe it. Went through it all with DH who denies it all and the messages turned to some insults.
We believed it was someone with malicious intent.

Im sorry I didn’t start a thread straight away-I didn’t want to start one and then not have the time to keep it up to date as yesterday was really busy. So some progress has been made:
-After being super certain the baby shower wasn’t put online I’ve discounted the woman from work. I’ve also found out that she’s moved back to her home country on the other side of the world so unlikely.
-I know people were unsure why I thought my college friend was the link. Essentially one of the insults I got sent was quite personal and about something I used to be quite insecure of when I was younger (not so much now) and college friend was aware of it.

I was still fairly certain it isn’t FROM her as I just can’t square that off but it seems to be too much of a coincidence that she was at the baby shower, has access to me online and knows about this thing.

We told PIL everything when they dropped kids off yesterday and DH said that he was supposedly with this woman that time I was at the baby shower-they completely backed him up that he was with them the whole time and couldn’t believe someone could be so vindictive. I felt bad we told them as they were quite upset about it all.

Back to college friend. We decided yesterday morning to follow Colleen’s lead and I posted a Facebook status viewable just to her along the lines of ‘absolutely devastated. Nearly 20 years only to be betrayed-anyone know a good solicitor?’ (Note, I would never normally share something so private!!).

We figured if it was her, I’d get a WhatsApp message mocking me or full of smugness. We could see she’d be been online lots through the day but we didn’t get anything from the number.

Then this morning I get a WhatsApp from her (using the number she used in the baby shower group) saying she’d seen my status, was so sorry and wondered if I was around for a catch up as she’s a bit worried about a few things and needs to talk to me.

Ive obviously tried to ask questions but she’s just asked if we could meet. We’ve got a few kids activities this morning but I’m meeting her at 2 for a drink and to see what she has to say.

Sorry, that was really long! And please don’t worry, this hasn’t completely taken over our weekend-we took kids to soft play party, had a nice bbq and this morning are going swimming. But I’m determined to find out what this is all about.

It was a poster on the previous thread who suggested doing a ‘Colleen’ or I wouldn’t have thought of it! It definitely seems to have triggered something so we shall see

Sounds ominous!

Doesn’t make sense. If she’s that concerned can’t she just tell you everything in message?!Unless she’s scared it will incriminate her? I mean someone you haven’t seen since college suddenly insisting on meeting up? She’s either got something to hide or knows someone else who has something to hide

Anonymous messages are so cowardly. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Impressive Colleen vibes!
Be careful though, it’s all sounding very odd.

All very weird. Stay safe. There sounds like there is a nutter involved somewhere!

Oh gosh best of luck. Meet her in a very public place just in case!

Maybe she doesn’t want anything written down, especially if she is blaming someone else.

I hope you get answers this afternoon. Crazy!

Excellent sleuthing and Wagatha-ing, I really hope you get to the bottom of it! Truth is stranger than fiction and all that.

@basilbush does she have a teenage daughter who she could have been less than complimentary about you to? Anyhow, good luck!

Hope you get some answers!

It sounds like she knows something.

I really hope that it isn’t anything that will blow your world apart.

I hate to say this - I don’t want to get you worrying - but from experience , a cheater can be very calculating

She obviously doesn't want anything written down. You could go total wagatha and secretly record the conversation 😂

Maybe she read your status and she is going through the same thing and just wants to discuss in person, I would not necessarily assume she knows anything about your life or marriage. Dying to hear though!

Good luck OP, I'm now shamelessly hooked in and dying to know what she's got to say!

Bloody hell! Hope you get answers in some form.

Shamelessly placemarking. I hope you get to the bottom of it!

Just an idea: DH and father in law arrive at the same venue after 30 minutes so that when you listen to her and query her they are in pil car with him and they come in when and if you need them to and text them (they can be in the car park) and they can verify he was with them and you know it is all rubbish.

Don’t know how legal it is to tape your conversation but if she lies you have it all recorded and she can’t then say she didn’t say x or y?

Great idea! Following with interest (again!)

Just a thought is this person friends with or in contact with anyone else on your fb? Could she have said omg did you see basilbushes post about her marriage and they are saying nope nothing on mine. So maybe she could know uve just aimed it at her? Or she could be wanting to meet for sime sick reason to say she's the OW? All very bizarre and odd behaviour

It sounds to me like someone is jealous of your great relationship with your husband.

Good luck! This is fantastic detetive work.

You might want to set up a recording device to record the call if you can, so your DH can hear too.

I've been quietly following this since the first thread, I didn't think there would be a second one! Hope you get some answers this afternoon. She (or whoever it is) sounds obsessed, jealous and extremely bitter.

Following need answers

Hope you are ok. Stay safe.