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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband is MASSIVELY pee’d off with me

276 replies

Blackjack2002 · 31/05/2025 20:29

I had lip filler done today but didn’t tell my husband as I know he hates it.
I pranked him a few years back by sticking my top lip up with face glue as an April Fool, and he went mad. At the time, I said I’d never have it done. I’ve never been confident about the way I look, I’ve just turned 48 and thought why not?

I’ve only had a small amount and they are quite swollen, they will settle down in a few days. But he says he can’t look at me and that I look like a clown. He’s been angry and shouty but now getting the silent treatment. We rarely have a cross word so today has been no fun.

Not sure what to do. Any advice please?

OP posts:
BallerinaRadio · 31/05/2025 20:30

Obviously it's your body you can do what you like, but you knew this reaction was coming to not mention it beforehand seems a little... Odd.

Radiatorvalves · 31/05/2025 20:30

Why on earth would you do that? Sorry but I am team DH.

Screamingabdabz · 31/05/2025 20:34

What can you do? Nothing. You let him calm down and get over it. I think if you’re of the opinion that something looked utterly ridiculous, and your partner gleefully went ahead and got it, you’re probably entitled to be bit miffed at what they’ve stupidly done to themselves.

ButteredRadish · 31/05/2025 20:35

Why on earth have you done that? Sorry but nothing says vain like lip fillers. Do you actually believe they look natural? Do you not care what your husband thinks?
I strongly advise you get them dissolved.

UnimatrixZeroOne · 31/05/2025 20:37

What an idiotic thing to do. You can only look awful.

Alwaystired2023 · 31/05/2025 20:39

Not idiotic OP, it's your face and if it has been bothering you so much I totally understand. Tell your DH why you did it and explain that the swelling will go down, he will just have to get over it or move out maybe

Monvelo · 31/05/2025 20:40

Just got to wait it out on both fronts, I think? I mean they're not for me but you knew what you were doing and must like them. You know your husband doesn't like them but decided you would go ahead because it's your body and up to you, so I suppose you've just got to wait for them and him to calm down. He'll get over it, even if he doesn't change his opinion.

IsThisLifeNow · 31/05/2025 20:40

I know friends who have had lip filler and I think they've found someone who is good as you honestly can't tell.

It doesn't always look awful

Stickortwigs · 31/05/2025 20:41

Mumsnet hates fillers OP so you’ll get the usual judgemental and unhelpful remarks. But ultimately it’s your decision and once the swelling goes down he might be calmer.

Loki64 · 31/05/2025 20:42

Ignore all the comments asking why you'd do such a thing, because its your body and you wanted to is why! and is for no one else to judge what you want to do with your own body.

Honon · 31/05/2025 20:44

It's your body and if you want them it's up to you. But the way you handled it was odd, if you knew he would be upset - and was previously very upset when you did it as a joke - surely it would have made sense to discuss it first, not surprise him with it, that was asking for trouble?

My oh hated tattoos but I had one anyway, that's my prerogative, but we did talk about it beforehand and I explained why it mattered to me, he wasn't happy but we were both reasonable about it.

Figcherry · 31/05/2025 20:47

It’s your body op.
Your dh will have to get used to it.

OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 31/05/2025 20:47

You didn't tell him because you were avoiding the confrontation. You have a right to spend your money on whatever you want and it is your body. Your choice.
His reaction is a bit childish, I'd be telling him to grow up, that it's your choice and you expect support in your choices even if he doesn't agree with them, like a proper supportive adult partner.

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 31/05/2025 20:49

The swelling will settle down in a couple days and if you have had as little as you say you’ve had hopefully his reaction will settle as well.

My lip filler is really only noticeable whilst it’s swollen. So as long as it’s just a subtle volume enhancement you and he will be fine.

Mareleine · 31/05/2025 20:50

Another one adding my voice to say ignore the haters, you did it for you to make yourself feel good and I'm sorry it's backfired and that you're now getting stick on an anonymous forum to boot. A supportive husband wouldn't have such a controlling opinion about what you do to your own body in the name of aesthetics. As a comparison, when I got botox in my frown lines and filler under my eyes, my DH was nothing but supportive even though it was really expensive.

Growlling · 31/05/2025 20:52

You knew he would be, so what’s your problem?

GoldPoster · 31/05/2025 20:56

It’s your body but he’s got to look at you. I wouldn’t be happy if I felt a bit repulsed when I looked at them, especially during sex.

rwalker · 31/05/2025 20:57

It’s difficult to say If he’s being unreasonable without seeing them I’ve 2 friends who have it done one is fantastic look really natural
or look ridiculous there like a ducks arse

pictoosh · 31/05/2025 21:06

I'm normally in the 'it's not up to him' camp but I must admit I'm quite scathing of the lip fillers.
It's nothing personal against any individual, I just think it's a shame that fashion has disappeared so far up its own arse that women feel the need to do it. It's the very definition of facile to me.
Only my opinion...but he might feel the same way?

LaughingCat · 31/05/2025 21:06

Your body, your right to do what you want with it. His reaction is way OTT and weirdly controlling. However.
My OH hates tattoos on women but he knows I want one at some point and we’ve talked it through multiple times over the years until he’s understood that it’s important to me and he knows I’ll involve him in the planning and execution of it. So when it does happen, he won’t be blindsided.

MoominMai · 31/05/2025 21:07

Radiatorvalves · 31/05/2025 20:30

Why on earth would you do that? Sorry but I am team DH.

This. @Blackjack2002 You’re free to do what you want with your own body. But you have prior knowledge that DH would be unhappy so why not at least give him fore warning out of respect since he feels so strongly about it. Not sure why you’re coming to MN now for? Isn’t it obvious that you apologise to your DH - not for having it done - but not for warning him beforehand? 🙄

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 31/05/2025 21:11

' I’ve never been confident about the way I look,'

your husband is obiv happy with the way you look

you dated, you got married.

did that not inspire you with confidence

CharlotteRumpling · 31/05/2025 21:13

I hate lip fillers.

But I hate the silent treatment even more.
He doesnt have the right to yell and then ignore you.

DeSoleil · 31/05/2025 21:14

Your poor husband.

KaleQueen · 31/05/2025 21:16

We live in an awful image obsessed society now. No helpful advice to add. So much pressure on women to conform. Always has been that way I know (grew up in the 90s when the superwaifs were around so skinny was the fad) but i don’t think it has never been so bad as it is now. Turkish teeth, injections, fillers, gel nails. Lashes. Instagram has a lot to answer for.
I am not criticising your decision, and I think your OH reaction is awful. But maybe have a think why you felt you wanted to do that? I bet you’re beautiful as you are.