Husband is MASSIVELY pee’d off with me

[Blackjack2002]

I had lip filler done today but didn’t tell my husband as I know he hates it.
I pranked him a few years back by sticking my top lip up with face glue as an April Fool, and he went mad. At the time, I said I’d never have it done. I’ve never been confident about the way I look, I’ve just turned 48 and thought why not?

I’ve only had a small amount and they are quite swollen, they will settle down in a few days. But he says he can’t look at me and that I look like a clown. He’s been angry and shouty but now getting the silent treatment. We rarely have a cross word so today has been no fun.

Not sure what to do. Any advice please?

Agree, but neither is going behind your partners back, doing something you know they don't agree with and not communicating.

People lose it and rant sometimes, if this is an ongoing issue, then OP can decide what to do.

She can't be surprised he's not happy about it.

Precisely this! He may be repulsed by lip fillers, told OP, she agreed not to get them done, then thinks why not, without discussing it and is surprised he's not jumping for joy.

Maybe he can't come back from it, will always have doubts about what else she's done/going to do and loses trust in her.
It's a small thing to you OP, but his reaction now and to the prank shows it's a big thing to him.

Hopefully he can get past it, but he's entitled to not find them attractive or not agree with cosmetic procedures.

I’m not sure many posters have actually suggested the op doesn’t have the right to change her body as she chooses.

Rather, I think people are saying the DH doesn’t have to react mutely because it’s her body. We all have preferences about how our Dc and Dp dress and present themselves. I certainly would not refrain from telling my DH he was inappropriately dressed for an event, I’d ensure my Dc were dressed appropriately and I’d actively hope my DH would tell me too.

Changing an appearance more fundamentally is really an extension of that. It’s normal to say things like “ I’m not sure that new hairdresser has done a good job. Have you seen it from the back?” We actually depend on family to tell us these kinds of truths. It’s part of taking an interest and caring about how they might be viewed by others. Noone wants their child teased at school for a tragic haircut. No one wants their Dsis going to a function without knowing their skirt is see-through at the back, or rises up on their hips so the hem isn’t straight etc. We all express opinions unless we simply couldn’t care less - which I’m not sure is a signal of a healthier relationship.

In this case, the appearance is even more permanent. For many people fillers are not an improvement and I suppose the frustration here for op’s DH is that she knew full well he thought that but is now critical of the fact he dares to express a negative opinion. The shouting I’d agree is OTT; but the fact he isn’t quietly and mutely rolling with the change isn’t a sign of a bad relationship. If anything its a sign he takes an interest - and is baffled that she wants to appear in a way that he finds unattractive and has said so.

I’d be baffled if my DH got lip fillers. I wouldn’t be complimentary and I’m not going to pretend I would be.

May be true, but not many would comment anyway.
Such procedures are meant to be natural and unnoticeable, so I don't comment out of politeness, not because I didn't notice.

It's not over the top. It was responding to the " went and did it anyway" comment. At the end of the day it is the op's body and the op's choice. This overrides her husbands opinion every single time.

Yes I can’t imagine saying to someone: “Have you had fillers because your lips look unnaturally inflated?”

Both DD and I have been asked this.😂
We are not white, so have naturally full lips. All through my youth I was told they were a curse. Odd to see them in fashion now.

Well yes, it’s rude.
To reassure you though, naturally full lips tend to match and balance a person’s features and also don’t have that “straining at the edges” look of filled lips.

There’s naturally full and artificially full. Nothing wrong with full lips per se.

Quite, it's on the same level as: Does my bum look big in this?

I don't for a second think mine isn't big just because people don't comment. 😂

Maybe.

If it is just that, it's a weird thing to get that upset about imo. And they're not my cup of tes particularly either.

I've felt a bit disappointed myself in the past, when my partner got haircuts I didn't like (buzzcuts). I wouldn't fall out with him over it though!

Yes exactly! 😂

Yes to all this

Women are encouraged to LTB over less,, but that's women and the MN standards are different.

We've ALL got things we don't like or don't find attractive. Men and women.
Many women don't like beards for example, while there's been a big trend for men to have them.
I KNOW some women would be REALLY annoyed if their SO stopped shaving and grew a beard. And they would say so.

Now I'm not sure about this dh in this thread, I don't know him. If he's got form for angrily opinionating on his wife's choices, maybe he's an overbearing arse. If he doesn't, maybe this is one of those things on the 'no way' list for him.

I still think it's OP's choice...will generally always side with people pleasing themselves about their appearance, even if I'm really not a fan of the lip filler trend.

It's not a hill to die on.

“It’s not a hill to die on.”

Or is it …?

Heh - I'm sure she doesn't look like that.

I've a couple of colleagues who have had the lip fillers done. I don't think it's necessary but I make all the right and bright noises about it because it's nothing to do with me.

My thoughts on lip fillers and other cosmetic procedures that are becoming commonplace stay firmly in my head. I disapprove but not of my colleagues, who are lovely...just that so many are swept up in a tide of conformation to look a specific way, unattainable without expensive and risky procedures.

It's like we're regressing on the beauty standards.
Eta: And by that, I mean it's like the 90s never happened. Loved that era when anything went.

If you can’t tell it’s been done, why waste money having it done?

Because they now look like they have naturally full lips vs all the pics people have been posting on here?

The best cosmetic surgeons are the ones that their work isn't obvious, but their patients just look naturally different

I’m so surprised at the reactions on here! I think your husband sounds horrible. He doesn’t own you or get any say in what you do to your own body. And getting angry or shouting is just ridiculous. I’d be fuming at him.

Completely Concur With You God Bless Your Sincere Genuinity 💚🌼💚

In which case it would be noticeable!

The bottom lip looks obviously unnatural

I probably wouldn't look at you either, but I'd have no business getting angry or shouting at you. It is, after all, your mouth 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Fair enough.
I don't think we can do what we like with our possessions, including our bodies, though.

hey OP did you ever resolve this ? I’ve just had a small amount of lip filler . Husband now won’t kiss me . Accepts it’s my body my choice but refuses to kiss me on the lips …. Not sure where to go from here ….