Husband is MASSIVELY pee’d off with me

[Blackjack2002]

I had lip filler done today but didn’t tell my husband as I know he hates it.
I pranked him a few years back by sticking my top lip up with face glue as an April Fool, and he went mad. At the time, I said I’d never have it done. I’ve never been confident about the way I look, I’ve just turned 48 and thought why not?

I’ve only had a small amount and they are quite swollen, they will settle down in a few days. But he says he can’t look at me and that I look like a clown. He’s been angry and shouty but now getting the silent treatment. We rarely have a cross word so today has been no fun.

Not sure what to do. Any advice please?

I’d be annoyed if my husband went and got a cosmetic procedure and hadn’t at least told me beforehand.

I mean, you should probably be grateful he didn’t try and un-stick (can I use that non word?) the glue while you were asleep if he thought you were joshing him again. Could’ve been painful.

Something other than “this person changed the size of their lips”? Perhaps you could explain exactly what statement this makes about a person because honestly, I’m not sure how you’re inferring some kind of moral standing from a person’s face?

Yup I'd be horrified if DH had lip fillers and I would no longer be attracted to him and would tell him so. Loudly and more than once just before I left him. It would not just be how he looked that would horrify me, but the idea that he could buy self confidence by injecting something into his face. And as someone upthread drew the comparison, I would much much sooner he had pissed on the kitchen floor. At least he could clean that up

I think all the 'girl power' type posts saying 'it's your body hun, you do you, none of his business' are total bollocks too.

Imagine if your dh rocked up home with a nice tattoo on his face. Right on his cheek*. He just wanted it, didn't want to discuss it with you before hand because he knows you hate tattoos.

I'd go fucking wild. I'd be so cross, so upset, so horrified. I wouldn't smile serenely and say oh well, it's your body, none of my business!

*Obviously this post doesn't apply if you and your dh are face-tattoed alternative types already. The majority of people aren't though.

I would be disappointed if my DH did something to alter his appearance that he knew I would hate. I accept it is his right, but it would still make me sad and upset.

Why?

@Nevertrustacop You'd end a long-term relationship and go through the awfulness of a divorce because of lip fillers?!

It's not just about changing the size of lips is it?

He is fine not to be a fan of lip filler, but to be shouty? That isn't okay at all and the silent treatment is abusive.

You can get it dissolved if it turns out terrible, but it's a choice you made with your body. It's not like you got a unicorn tattooed on your forehead.

He sounds really controlling

I pranked him a few years back by sticking my top lip up with face glue as an April Fool

Your poor husband.

It isn't? Honestly I can't see what it says about a person other than they were unhappy with an aspect of their appearance, and opted for a temporary procedure to change that?

Isn’t it? Do lip fillers do something other than change the size of your lips? You’ll have to enlighten me, I’m afraid.

At 48 years old I can understand why you have had this done

All those who are saying you shouldn’t have had it done, I want to ask if you wear make up or put on creams and serums to keep skin looking good.
What are you going to do when those things don’t work

Your lips lose their volume and lines start to appear. Lip fillers are there to return the lost volume.

The thing with having such a harsh reaction to lip fillers is that done well at a certain age No one would know what you have had done

It’s your body. It’s your right to do what you like. But if your husband doesn’t find you attractive after having it done, that’s also his right.

Is it also his right to get angry and shouty?

I mean I just look old, I guess. it seems the better option.

Nobody cares that much, least of all me.
I am 53.

It is your body op.

My DH’s body is also his body.

I’d still go nuts if he got lip fillers…

Sometimes the way our loved ones treat their bodies still distresses us .

That presupposes that the partner thinks puffa lips are attractive.

Yep, her body her choice. It doesn't mean her DH has to accept it!

I’m not a fan of lip fillers but my daughter had a small amount and it was barely noticeable.

Regarding your dh, what else doesn’t he like you doing

What you have done was just for your confidence and making you feel better about yourself. If he can’t understand that then I would be looking at other aspects of his control and questioning the future

Tell him to fuck off, it's your face, if he doesn't like lip filler he doesn't have to get it.

OP, I absolutely think your partner is out of line for his treatment towards you. He’s allowed not to like lip filler, but to shout, sulk and give you the silent treatment isn’t on.
i had a nose piercing a few years back and the amount of women that said ‘oh, I’d love that done but my husband doesn’t like it’ really shocked me.
on the flip side, I absolutely cannot stand a man with a handlebar moustache. I honestly have a negative physical reaction to them 🤣
my partner will sometimes say he’s going to shave and grow one, my response is always to go for it, but to understand that I won’t want to be intimate whilst he’s got one. I can’t control what he does with his body, but I can express calmly that I won’t find it attractive. The rest is up to him.
i think your partner has jumped the shark a little too…in a few days it’ll be barely noticeable if you’ve only had a small amount.

Your body, your choice.
Tell him to calm the fuck down, how dare he bloody dictate what is YOUR choice?