Random message saying DH affair

[basilbush]

Hoping for some advice here

Background-been with my DH 19 years, married 13 with two young children (nursery and reception).

I would say we have a happy marriage and solid family life. We rarely argue, spend time together and mostly manage to be respectful and have fun. We are intimate fairly regularly with no issues there (that I’m aware of).

So now to the weirdness. Yesterday afternoon I got a message on WhatsApp. It’s from a number I don’t recognise and the contact card photo is a flower so not identifying. The message said my DH (used his name) was cheating on me, had been going on for 6 months and I was naive to think my marriage was happy.

i haven’t replied. I’m not sure what to say and it’s knocked me for 6. I know you read posts from women all the time where they can’t see what’s right in front of them but I honestly don’t believe it. I don’t believe he’s capable of it-nor has he really had the opportunity.

He has recently started going to the gym and got fitter but we’ve both had health scares and it ties in with that.

Im not really sure what to do. I was going to just ask him outright (he’s away with work and back later today) and say I’ve got this weird message but it seemed so ridiculous to even ask him.

And being away with work isn’t a red flag-he’s sent photos of the conference, we faced timed last night and he rang me when got back to the room. First time he’s stayed away for a work thing in a year.

sorry, this was long and rambling!

For the OP's sake I hope it's something like this.

Not everyone uses Facebook tho

@basilbushhope you're Ok

I would call the number from a different phone. Ideally not a mobile.

So person replied rapidly but it’s been 222 mins with no evidence sent!

They don't. It's just spam. If they message enough people they are guaranteed to get several people married to a insert common name here then a % of those people will engage.

Ok, so now you do nothing. Don’t text back.

they are implying they have evidence, so now you wait.

when they send whatever they send, treat it as you would do for spam/phishing. No clicking a link.

I’m sorry oP. Regardless of what’s going on, they are being nasty.

Or withhold your number first.

I'm laughing at how sad but true this is

That's quite a nasty response - obviously not someone who is trying to help you.

Talk to your DH.

Sending 💐 for whatever the outcome is.

This is so true, sadly.

Hope it proves to be nothing OP.

They are really, really common and getting more rife. I have some professional experience of these things and honestly think it’s a likely explanation.

What's worrying is AI can make anything look real.

I would speak to DH at this point I think. Hugs OP. Hope it's just jealousy or spam

It’s sad how many on here assume there must be something to it, rather than spam from someone that doesn’t even know her.

Hahaha this made me laugh!

Yes because… men

It’s good that you’ve asked for proof, but I wouldn’t send another message now. Don’t give them any more satisfaction unless they do reply.

Oh and the response may be AI generated, as that’s how these dialogues are managed by mass hackers/hacking farms.

I would just show him the message, saying something like "I got a really weird message - look at this". His face will tell you the answer!

If you get nothing further, I’d wait until he’s home and say - I’ve had a weird message from an unknown number. It said [quote].

Then I’d watch his reaction.
Then I’d say casually - I just replied ‘prove it’. And then I’d watch his reaction.
And then when he asks if you got a reply I’d quote it. And I’d watch his reaction.

If you know your DH, you will know exactly how he’d react if he was guilty or not. It’ll be written on his face.

Best case, he won’t know you’ve had this, and you’ll catch him cold. Worst case, he’s been told you’ve been told, and if you don’t face the topic head on he’ll suspect you’re plotting.

Plot anyway. Just in your mind have outcomes planned.

Its sad that your naïve enough to think its actually spam.

If he's having an affair then the OW is probably passed of he hasn't left you for her and is now trying to stir shit up.

If you have noticed changes then it's possibly true and he is.
About the gym thing. He could leave his car and phone there and she picks him up.

Some men. Some women.

Most people don’t cheat.