DH won’t let me rehome cat

[ThisCleverAmberEagle]

To begin with I’d just like to say I never thought I’d be someone to say that I wanted to rehome a pet just because having them didn’t suit my lifestyle anymore and would probably have looked down upon anybody saying that. However, since having a baby 4 months ago I’m really struggling with my cat. He’s an indoor cat and very clingy, as in wants to sit on my lap permanently and have constant attention lavished upon him. I found this quite a lot pre-baby but since it’s become just really overwhelming. I cannot get up in the night to heat a bottle because the cat runs out and runs circles around my feet meowing loudly and insistently for his food. I cannot just sit and hold my baby without the cat also trying to sit on my lap. Also, the amount of hair everywhere is really getting to me, I’m finding hairs/cat fur on my baby’s bottle and dummy and just across all surfaces at all times despite vacuuming and using a lint roller constantly, there’s so much fur in her pram too. Having to clean up the litter tray and food too really feels like more than I can bear. I know it’s not the cats ‘fault’. I just feel increasingly that I want to get him rehomed, mainly for my benefit but also I’m sure he would be more happy somewhere where someone actually doesn’t see him as a burden and would be happy with him cuddling up to them. Whenever I bring this up with DH he says no absolutely not and that the cat is part of the family, however as I’m the one who is at home all the time having a cat really affects me more. I’m starting to feel resentful as it’s really impacting me at the moment and I don’t understand why he won’t let me rehome the cat for my own sanity. Am I supposed to just suck it up and keep the cat for DH’s sake?

I’m a huge pet lover and the amount of bollox spoken on here is insane. They are animals. It’s only cultural and geographical that we aren’t eating cats and dogs! The Amish for example think we are batshit that we share our homes with dogs - to them they are the same as pigs. I’d say most here claiming the OP is the devil will be tucking into mear tonight. But that’s different cos it’s a cow or a pig?
Pets are great and they enhance our lives but if they aren’t they can be rehomed and all the angst is ridiculous. Dogs are pack animals and they will forget you within weeks. It’s just the way it is. You can love your pet but if you tell yourself you love them more than the humans in your life I’d say you were delusional or have a problem with human attachment.

Akin to abandoning your children
😂😂😂😂

This. Children come above pets. If you can, best find a new home for the cat. 🙄

I have zero problems with pet and human attachment thank you very much. I also have zero problems fulfilling my commitments and obligations when I choose to bring an innocent and vulnerable pet into my home.

I had to rehome a dog to go away for training for a year. Several months after getting home, the lady who adopted him asked if I could come stay overnight at her house with the dog, because he gets anxious being left alone, and took a while to warm up to strangers. I didn’t think he would remember me, but he was so excited to see me again that he knocked me down and covered me with slobbery kisses.

I think most dogs are like that. Cats? Maybe not so forgiving.

How ugly of you, op.

A few cat hairs.

A cat wanting a cuddle and oh my goodness, food too?

Outrageous.

@SugarPlumpFairyCakes

…in your opinion. That’s all your post is - your opinion. Not fact.
the fact is that OP can do what she wants and if she needs to rehome this cat for the sake of her mental health then so be it.
Honestly some women really cannot stand it when other women prioritise themselves and don’t act a Martyr!!
could it be projection I wonder?

@Cherrytree86 isn't that what MN is all about? Opinions.

Projection? Nope. I don't take on pets and then dump them.

@SugarPlumpFairyCakes

projection as in some women here hating it when a woman puts themself first as theyve not felt able to do so. Sad

Let the cat outside and you will be both happier!

@MidnightMeltdown what an absolutely crazy thing to say. Mumsnet moderators, this is ridiculous. Poor OP.

@Cherrytree86 "projection as in some women here hating it when a woman puts themself first as theyve not felt able to do so. Sad"

Hogwash. There's putting yourself first and then there's behaving in a daft way.

@SugarPlumpFairyCakes

but I don’t see it as behaving in a daft way. oP is doing what she needs to do.

@Cherrytree86 Ah well that's your opinion. As you said.

I think it is daft and trivial to rehome an animal for the reasons stated. The op's h is right.

Not sure why people bother to post if they aren't interested in the various opinions.

Yes. Why not re-home yourself and leave your husband, cat, and son to be a happy family? Better to re-home you now than re-homing your baby when he becomes a clingy toddler.

What a silly response. A cat and a baby are in no way equal parties in a household.

Wow i love how we all love to judge someone when we havent ever been in a similar situation ourselves

one question to all the poster comapating op to the devil. If your circumstances changed to the point uou were struggling your telling me that you wouldn't consider rehoming and youd suffer the consequences e.g. bankruptcy, homelessness, starving, mentel health declining....doubt it!!

Honestly I don't think the majority of people give up pets lightly. When a responsible owner gets a pet they intend to look after said pet for life....Circumstances change like family dynamics, finances, health, jobs and as unfortunate that it is the pet may be the only entity that can be changed.

Just to add I don't think op shoukd rehome....think she should hold off a good few months as i do believe that the cat will get used to ess attention, ops protective hormones will settle and this stage will pass.

Why is all of the cat care on you? If your husband is the one determined to keep the cat, he can handle the cat's care, the litterbox, and any feedings when he's home. Make it clear your baby is the top priority and how the cat being underfoot all the time is affecting you and the baby. I'm an animal lover myself but if my pets lowered my ability to care for a child, they would be closed in a room while I was doing the affected tasks. Brought out and assured they were good for waiting after, and trying to train on what to be mindful of around the baby (training toddler about pets as they grow too)...

Tell your husband to suck it up. You’re now a mother and if something is making motherhood harder for you, get rid of it. The cat will adapt to a new family.

Schrodinger's thread.

🤣🤣