Annulling marriage as spouse is trans?

[confusedpasty]

Hi everyone,

I got married 3 months ago. I have been with my now husband for 7 years and prior to the wedding, we honestly had a fantastic relationship. We also have a 14 month old boy. We are best friends and have shared everything together and talked about having more children after the wedding.

Intimacy has trailed off a bit since our baby was born, mostly on my part actually as I haven’t felt in the mood much, but I guess from his side too. Anyway, I thought this was just a phase due to our circumstances and was excited for the wedding.

Slight relevant background - my husband has always been more ‘feminine’ if you can call it that, as in interested in clothes and hair and underwear etc. No problem, loved him for who he was and we got on great.

Fast forward to after the wedding - no sex despite me trying and trying. 12 weeks have now passed since our wedding so I finally sat him down last night and asked what’s going on. He told me that he feels ashamed to admit it, but that deep down he feels he is transgender and his true feelings are that he identifies as a woman and that sex now feels disgusting to him as he’s not behaving like his true self?

Lots of crying and emotion followed - he begged me to support him and stay if he chooses to transition publicly, I feel that I cannot do this. I am torn. He has gone to stay with his mum for a few days whilst I process this.

I know this is a bit of a niche situation, but has anyone out there faced a similar situation? I am considering applying for an annulment, I think this would be fair on the grounds we haven’t consummated the marriage? Husband says he would contest this. I am so, so confused and haven’t yet told anyone in real life.

Looking after herself, making sure she’s eating and drinking water. That’s what I have recommended for the last eleventy hundred pages.

But you’ll want the last word I expect.

Of course he will. Because man telling women how to behave.

A

You do realise the reason you speak like that is because you think it will hurt me right?
Like, if we are going to talk about behaviour..

These are the words you will continue to hear, OP:

"Dehumanise"
"Transphobe"
"Bigot"

All because you don't think a man can become a woman.

I'm bowing out of this thread now, because I think the OP has had loads of good advice and information, and it's been taken over by TRAs who are doing the "I'm just being reasonable!" stomp.

MNers: Good wishes, OP, be warned that your husband Person-Of-Gender will expect alllll the attention to be on him, to control allllll the words, that alllll the important feelings are his.

Righteous posters: OP must get away from MN!

Also Righteous posters: Fill up entire thread with actual live demonstration of Persons-Of-Gender expecting alllll the attention to be on them, to control allllll the words, that alllll the important feelings are theirs.

'These are the words you will continue to hear, OP:
"Dehumanise"
"Transphobe"
"Bigot"'

Because it's what I'm doing and I'm trying to convince that my abuse is justified despite the fact it's absolutely horrendous.'

If you dehumanise people based on who they are and something they can't change what does that make you?
Dehumanisation of someone or a group of people should be an early warning sign and it's exactly what you will start doing yourself if you get lost in this group and it will only get worse and the actions behaviour towards the parent of your child will just get worse aswell.

It's perfectly normal to feel hurt, to feel like you hate your partner right now. It's all valid. But they should be dealt with by professionals and people that love you. The only thing that exists here is teaching you to hate and dehumanise the parent of your child. There will be nothing here but destruction. Most of the people who get trapped in this are miserable and obsessed people.

If disagreement and opposition is bad behaviour to you then I have to tell you something about yourself

Keep going, you are doing a brilliant job.

#OperationLetThemSpeak

Yeah honestly, as far as presenting an alternative to 'waste 2-3 years of your life being trans widow and hating my partner' I'm actually glad it's been presented.

Well I’ve stopped responding now as didn’t want to derail further, but my intention was to support the OP with my responses. ‘Shame on..’ is a little harsh, it’s not always easy to step onto these threads given the history for all of us.

There was a recent Ask Me Anything from a transwoman, and another transwoman arrived in the thread, started answering questions people had asked the OP, then took over the thread themselves because the OP didn't subscribe to all of the Groupthink.

Men just can't help themselves!

All because you don't think a man can become a woman.

If OP does think a man can become a woman (do we know?) all the less reason to stay married, she didn't marry a woman and is not a lesbian.

This isn't about GC vs genderism. The only belief system that suggests staying together is pure male chauvinism, if you think that her feelings don't matter at all just his.

Absolutely. But let them speak has shone so much light on the reality of the ‘most marginalised group on society’ and shown their true, aggressive, entitled misogynistic agenda.

I mean JKR has set up a fund with her own money to pay legal costs for women who have been unfairly discriminated against for their biological sex based views and TRA’s are doing all they can to crash her website and destroy the fund! Woman aren’t allowed to say no to them otherwise they get punished.

Doesn't matter how female these trans identified men present on the outside, scratch the surface and the male entitlement clear for all to see.

Wow. I'm with OP all the way, but generalising about an entire sector of hundreds, if not thousands, of different individuals in this way is, frankly, ridiculous.

You always know who the man is by how much space they shamelessly take up.

Is the word transphobic meant to have people quivering in a corner? Is it meant to be a scary word 🤷‍♀️

Manspreading all over a thread.

You should be ashamed of yourself coming here with your male toxicity and your abusive "advice".

You got so close 😅

I'm glad you've really got nothing but ad homineum. It's really proves the point I made

There is a woman who needs help and you’ve drowned out her voice. Well done.