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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New man masturbation anxiety

236 replies

Twoseasonsleeper · 21/05/2025 15:18

Not sure whether to be annoyed at him, or myself, or just slightly disappointed.

Been seeing a guy for a couple of months. We get on fine. We’re at the stage now where I am thinking that maybe this could go somewhere, and I have zero desire to be anything but honest with him about everything in my life. Secrets and lies are for other people’s relationships.

I work from home most days and we were chatting last night about how boring it is sometimes. He asked how I fill my days and I joked that the W in WFH meant walking, washing and wanking (ie sometimes I go for a walk, do the laundry or masturbate).

He seemed genuinely surprised that I would, in his words, ‘need to’ masturbate now that I am in a relationship and that he felt a bit anxious that he wasn’t good enough. I laughed it off and said that it’s no reflection on him at all, that I do it cos it feels good not cos I ‘need to’ and that it’s just a nice way to pass the time on occasion when I’m bored and work’s a bit light (when there’s no washing and it’s too rainy to walk!).

He seemed subdued like I’d broken some bad news to him. Not sure what else I could’ve said really. It’s no big deal to me if he does it. I don’t care either way and wish I’d never mentioned it about myself now. He’s making a mountain out of a molehill and I’m not sure what, if anything, to do.

OP posts:
TheOpalReader · 22/05/2025 19:16

I feel like I've just read two different issues. The one the op has about her insecure partner having an issue with a joke about masturbation and people having the huff on that she may or may not have a quick o whilst working from home. For the actual issue in the post I think he was being a bit uptight, maybe it's nerves but I wouldn't be comfortable with a reaction like that, i don't like sulkers or mopers. If you have a problem we talk about it, you're not manipulating me in to changing my behaviour to avoid more awkward sulking. Ultimately if that's your humour it sounds like it isn't his which is fair enough but it doesn't sound like you're compatible. As for the anti Mary molestation brigade I think you've all missed the point entirely and I feel sorry for your lack of stimulation.

SusanLittle76 · 22/05/2025 19:29

WFH is so god damn boring with Teams meeting after meeting that you gotta find some 'me' time at some pint through the day. It can be a movie or simulation of another kind like the OP. I even think about work colleagues sometimes and they're married.

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 19:36

Perhaps if OP is required at some point in the future to actually work in the office rather than at home she could ask her employers to provide her with a Masturbation Room so she can relieve herself of her sexual frustration. Seeing as she, and other posters on this thread, think masturbating in work time is the new normal it would be interesting to see if employers will be accommodating.

sammylady37 · 22/05/2025 19:36

I would dump any man who had a problem about me touching my own body in private.

OurManyEnds · 22/05/2025 20:26

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 19:36

Perhaps if OP is required at some point in the future to actually work in the office rather than at home she could ask her employers to provide her with a Masturbation Room so she can relieve herself of her sexual frustration. Seeing as she, and other posters on this thread, think masturbating in work time is the new normal it would be interesting to see if employers will be accommodating.

Again with the lunch break thing 😆😆

Branleuse · 22/05/2025 20:32

id have laughed as its clearly a joke.

So he doesnt want you to wank anymore, plus, he doesnt get your sense of humour.

dump him, then console yourself with a pot noodle and a wank

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 22/05/2025 20:52

VoodooQualities · 21/05/2025 15:22

Now you've been introduced to his almighty penis, why on earth would you need anything else?

😂 excellent

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 22/05/2025 20:54

Your partner has no soul. Dump
and run

Orarita · 22/05/2025 20:57

Not sure the ie was needed 🤣 we got the message in the first bit!

StripyShirt · 22/05/2025 21:30

MiloMinderbinder925 · 21/05/2025 20:56

Who's Mary and what's aquatinted? This thread is getting weird.

I'm Mary!

Twoseasonsleeper · 22/05/2025 21:32

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 19:36

Perhaps if OP is required at some point in the future to actually work in the office rather than at home she could ask her employers to provide her with a Masturbation Room so she can relieve herself of her sexual frustration. Seeing as she, and other posters on this thread, think masturbating in work time is the new normal it would be interesting to see if employers will be accommodating.

I’m not sexually frustrated, and the fact that I masturbate in private at home occasionally during the working day doesn’t mean that I am compelled to do so and would require a special room in the office in which to relieve myself. But thanks for the contribution.

OP posts:
Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 21:40

Twoseasonsleeper · 22/05/2025 21:32

I’m not sexually frustrated, and the fact that I masturbate in private at home occasionally during the working day doesn’t mean that I am compelled to do so and would require a special room in the office in which to relieve myself. But thanks for the contribution.

Right so you are happy to masturbate on your employers time but you don't see the necessity to actually tell them what you get up to when you are supposed to be doing the work they are paying you to do?

FancyCatSlave · 22/05/2025 21:52

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 19:36

Perhaps if OP is required at some point in the future to actually work in the office rather than at home she could ask her employers to provide her with a Masturbation Room so she can relieve herself of her sexual frustration. Seeing as she, and other posters on this thread, think masturbating in work time is the new normal it would be interesting to see if employers will be accommodating.

What I do in my break times in the office or WFH is none of my employers business.

I don’t know what sort of work you do but I am
not chained to a desk, I don’t have set hours. I am a senior manager running a service and for that my performance is based on outcomes not minutes at a PC.

Tomorrow I’ll be taking an hour or two out of my day to go to a school event, today I worked in the office until 7.30pm. Some days I start at 7am, other days 10am. Some WFH days I take a shower part way through the day or go to yoga in the village hall.

I don’t have the sort of role where I have to contactable 9-5 or have my keystrokes monitored.

Having the occasional wank or (prior to my split with husband) shag during the day is not problematic for my productivity. Probably helps it actually.

I’m sure all the WFH hate comes from
people that have opted for rigid jobs with shitty employers. But that’s not my problem.

SleeplessInWherever · 22/05/2025 21:55

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 21:40

Right so you are happy to masturbate on your employers time but you don't see the necessity to actually tell them what you get up to when you are supposed to be doing the work they are paying you to do?

I don’t think anyone is putting it in their calendar;

”10am - team meeting
11am - HR, minute taking
12pm - masturbation”

People do lots of things on work time, it’s not that deep.

Twoseasonsleeper · 22/05/2025 21:56

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 21:40

Right so you are happy to masturbate on your employers time but you don't see the necessity to actually tell them what you get up to when you are supposed to be doing the work they are paying you to do?

Yep, absolutely. Because the work gets done.

Tomorrow during working hours I will probably have 2-3 cups of tea, go for a poo, have a shower, and possibly walk to the Co-op. I have no plans to wank but maybe I will. And I will still get my work done!

OP posts:
SleeplessInWherever · 22/05/2025 21:56

FancyCatSlave · 22/05/2025 21:52

What I do in my break times in the office or WFH is none of my employers business.

I don’t know what sort of work you do but I am
not chained to a desk, I don’t have set hours. I am a senior manager running a service and for that my performance is based on outcomes not minutes at a PC.

Tomorrow I’ll be taking an hour or two out of my day to go to a school event, today I worked in the office until 7.30pm. Some days I start at 7am, other days 10am. Some WFH days I take a shower part way through the day or go to yoga in the village hall.

I don’t have the sort of role where I have to contactable 9-5 or have my keystrokes monitored.

Having the occasional wank or (prior to my split with husband) shag during the day is not problematic for my productivity. Probably helps it actually.

I’m sure all the WFH hate comes from
people that have opted for rigid jobs with shitty employers. But that’s not my problem.

Same here.

I'm accountable to one person, our CEO, and have the flexibility to basically do what I want as long as the work gets done. Which it does.

I spent 2.5hrs driving home from my monthly office days today. Tomorrow I’m going food shopping. I don’t diarise that or the sexual activity that sometimes takes place 😂

fisherhatesgravel72 · 22/05/2025 22:07

Mary Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow? I ran out of Veet

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 22:33

I’m sure all the WFH hate comes from
people that have opted for rigid jobs with shitty employers. But that’s not my problem

Personally I didn't have a problem with people working from home.

But this thread has been quite a revelation to me because I hadn't really realised what the attitude of a lot of people who wfh was like: do what they like, don't give a damn, and get paid for it.

OurManyEnds · 22/05/2025 23:41

Dawnchorusiswonderful · 22/05/2025 21:40

Right so you are happy to masturbate on your employers time but you don't see the necessity to actually tell them what you get up to when you are supposed to be doing the work they are paying you to do?

Oh honestly stop. You know people have breaks.

OurManyEnds · 22/05/2025 23:41

I’m so efficient I could easily get there while the kettle boils. Or I could stand next to the kettle waiting. Who gives a fuck.

IfNot · 23/05/2025 00:21

Hasn’t anyone ever seen the Mitchell and Web “Working from Home” sketch?
Someone cleverer than me can link, I’m sure…

MiloMinderbinder925 · 23/05/2025 00:29

IfNot · 23/05/2025 00:21

Hasn’t anyone ever seen the Mitchell and Web “Working from Home” sketch?
Someone cleverer than me can link, I’m sure…

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/co_DNpTMKXk?si=GdlFziKSEiFs3mim

OurManyEnds · 23/05/2025 08:31

Seems like a fairly common thing… 😇

New man masturbation anxiety
Lighteningstrikes · 23/05/2025 08:50

You’re not compatible.
I would end it and find another wanker.

housemaus · 23/05/2025 16:53

He's being ridiculous. Isn't this the best part of WFH?