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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New man masturbation anxiety

236 replies

Twoseasonsleeper · 21/05/2025 15:18

Not sure whether to be annoyed at him, or myself, or just slightly disappointed.

Been seeing a guy for a couple of months. We get on fine. We’re at the stage now where I am thinking that maybe this could go somewhere, and I have zero desire to be anything but honest with him about everything in my life. Secrets and lies are for other people’s relationships.

I work from home most days and we were chatting last night about how boring it is sometimes. He asked how I fill my days and I joked that the W in WFH meant walking, washing and wanking (ie sometimes I go for a walk, do the laundry or masturbate).

He seemed genuinely surprised that I would, in his words, ‘need to’ masturbate now that I am in a relationship and that he felt a bit anxious that he wasn’t good enough. I laughed it off and said that it’s no reflection on him at all, that I do it cos it feels good not cos I ‘need to’ and that it’s just a nice way to pass the time on occasion when I’m bored and work’s a bit light (when there’s no washing and it’s too rainy to walk!).

He seemed subdued like I’d broken some bad news to him. Not sure what else I could’ve said really. It’s no big deal to me if he does it. I don’t care either way and wish I’d never mentioned it about myself now. He’s making a mountain out of a molehill and I’m not sure what, if anything, to do.

OP posts:
Twoseasonsleeper · 23/05/2025 17:40

Well, I made it through the day without doing it today. I know that may shock some people given my wanton and totally out of control libido, but I managed it. So proud. 🙄

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 23/05/2025 19:25

Twoseasonsleeper · 23/05/2025 17:40

Well, I made it through the day without doing it today. I know that may shock some people given my wanton and totally out of control libido, but I managed it. So proud. 🙄

But do you feel better for it?

ln the words of my late mother “if something isn’t making you feel nice, stop doing it”. So let’s reverse that shall we? If something is making you feel nice, rock on with it!

TwelfthOfNever · 23/05/2025 19:56
SquashedMallow · 23/05/2025 22:58

Look, leave your fanny alone. Stop tickling your clitoris. Work!!!!!! And if you do fiddle with your Mary, don't tell anyone. We really don't want to know.

SquashedMallow · 23/05/2025 22:59

I find it disgusting that you can't control your urges until you leave off. At least don't announce it

SquashedMallow · 23/05/2025 23:01

When did it become acceptable to announce you're playing with your flaps in work time?

whatcanthematterbe81 · 23/05/2025 23:30

learn summat new every day. Mumsnet you horny beasts 😂 mental thread!!

SleeplessInWherever · 23/05/2025 23:45

SquashedMallow · 23/05/2025 23:01

When did it become acceptable to announce you're playing with your flaps in work time?

Ages ago, I think.

If you don’t wanna know, stop coming back to read it 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

SquashedMallow · 24/05/2025 00:42

SleeplessInWherever · 23/05/2025 23:45

Ages ago, I think.

If you don’t wanna know, stop coming back to read it 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Just control yourself!

SquashedMallow · 24/05/2025 00:44

If your horny- cool. But don't announce it!

OurManyEnds · 24/05/2025 09:26

SleeplessInWherever · 23/05/2025 23:45

Ages ago, I think.

If you don’t wanna know, stop coming back to read it 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yep literally days ago, and the same people keep coming back to be mad about it all over again. Awesome.

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